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Clips from South Park - Follow That Egg (S09E09)

"You must care for and look after this egg just like a baby for one full week."
South Park
"When I announce your names, please move and sit with the person you're paired with."
South Park
"Timmay!"
South Park
"Kyle ?"
South Park
"All you have to do is make it to Friday with your egg unharmed to prove what great little parents you are."
South Park
"Love, so darn frail, you know? It shriveled and died. I don't know how."
South Park
"I've forgiven you for walking out on me after I had my sex change, and uh..."
South Park
"Well, give us a kiss!"
South Park
"Slave, honey, is that the pizza?"
South Park
"Well, that didn't take you long, did it?!"
South Park
"Slave, should I leave you two alone?"
South Park
"Yeah."
South Park
"No!"
South Park
"We're getting married right after the bill passes on Saturday."
South Park
"I'll stop that gay-marriage law!"
South Park
"Fags are gettin' married over MY DEAD BODY!!"
South Park
"So, what are you and Wendy doing?"
South Park
"Oh, we're just makin' a cradle out of an egg carton for our egg"
South Park
"We figure that way it'll be easier to keep safe so we can get an A."
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"I've been looking after it all day. I have to go to the hair salon and the candy store!"
South Park
"...So take it with you!"
South Park
"Well whether you wanted to or not doesn't really matter now!"
South Park
"Own up to your responsibilities!"
South Park
"I don't know, but she is pissed."
South Park
"That homosexuals cannot muddy our traditions!"
South Park
"We don't "hate" homosexuals, we, we we just don't want them to be able to marry."
South Park
"I can't use that argument. There's never been a study done which proves that either way."
South Park
"Then I would have something to fall back on. So-something to take all the pressure off of me."
South Park
"Mr. Governor, I will get you that study."
South Park
"Hey Wendy, how's your egg doing?"
South Park
"You've all been doing a great job taking care of your eggs, but now we're going to mix it up a little."
South Park
"Kyle, you are now with Stan! And Wendy is with Bebe!"
South Park
"Why ?"
South Park
"But I made that egg. Mr. Garrison, please. Youyou can't give my egg to Stan, he'll break it."
South Park
"It's just that... I really need this A, Stan. And Bebe did say you almost broke your last egg."
South Park
"I want to see my egg."
South Park
"Let's not make this any more confusing than it already is"
South Park
"Wendy, nothing's gonna happen to the egg. You can have it when the week is over and I have my grade."
South Park
"Freakin' weirdos, man."
South Park
"You think you're sooo great, don't you?! Well guess what?!"
South Park
"Maybe I don't need your help!"
South Park
"I'm taking the egg home tonight,"
South Park
"and I'm gonna show everybody tomorrow that I'm every bit as good a egg-take-care-ofer as you!"
South Park
"What the hell is wrong with everybody?"
South Park
"Okay, children, it's Wednesday! Time for an official egg check! Heidi and Eric?"
South Park
"Good. Millie and Clyde, I saw yours before class."
South Park
"Fine!"
South Park
"What?"
South Park
"It's right there, see?"
South Park
"Two boys can't possibly take care of an egg!"
South Park
"Instead of a "bride and groom," you'd be... butt buddies."
South Park
"You broke your egg?? Uh but you're partnered with a girl."
South Park
"I tried to cover it up, tried to put it back together with modeling glue,"
South Park
"No."
South Park
"And so, I should get an F, and she should get an A,"
South Park
"...Why are you doing this"
South Park
"Nothing! It's all okay! Just take your damn egg!"
South Park
"Eric, you've never been anything but a problem for me!"
South Park
"I have a little... problem I need taken care of. I heard you're the best"
South Park
"What's the matter? You... afraid you can't do it?"
South Park
"Can't say that I blame ya. That egg has caused me nothin' but problems since day one!"
South Park
"Day five. I made it! Hello?"
South Park
"What?"
South Park
"He wants to do the final egg check in front of the Governor's office!"
South Park
"She's really taking this grade seriously, Stan."
South Park
"Aah, you'd like that, wouldn't you?! I took care of this egg, Kyle, not you!"
South Park
"Okay, Stan, you've been an asshole to me all week! What is up?!"
South Park
"Impress Wendy??"
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"You've set it all up to look like you're this awesome prince and I'm just a loser!"
South Park
"What the hell are you talking about?!"
South Park
"Well guess what?! I'm gonna take this egg to class myself!"
South Park
"Stan? Stan, I think we should talk."
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"All I cared about was getting an A in this stupid project!"
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"Yeah well, I blew it. Now we're gonna fail and Wendy thinks I'm a total loser."
South Park
"Yeah dude. I'm sorry."
South Park
"Yeah. And I can still get my A!"
South Park
"As a matter of fact,... I think it is the nicest hat I've ever known"
South Park
"Come on!"
South Park
"Today is a very big day in which I'm supposed to make a very big decision."
South Park
"As some of you know, my biggest issue with gay marriage regards child-rearing."
South Park
"And a new study has just been concluded which will give me the ability to take no personal responsibility in this decision."
South Park
"A new study?"
South Park
"Ladies and Gentlemen, with the help of some adorable fourth-grade students,"
South Park
"Well it's here! You'd better make damn sure it doesn't reach these steps uncracked!"
South Park
"What did we do"
South Park
"Okay, children, this week we are all going to learn about parenting."
South Park
"I'm going to pair all the boys and girls in class into couples,"
South Park
"and give each couple... an egg"
South Park
"If you break your egg, it means you have a dead baby,"
South Park
"and if you kill your baby, you get an F."
South Park
"Awwww."
South Park
"Annie, you'll be a family with Timmy."
South Park
"Milly, your husband is Craig."
South Park
"- Powder, you and Kenny are a loving couple now. - Oh no, dude, he's gonna put me with Wendy."
South Park
"- Aaand let's see who else we have here, uh... - So, I haven't even spoken to Wendy since we broke up."
South Park
"And, Wendy? Wendy will be with Kyle."
South Park
"Bebe, you're paired up with Stan."
South Park
"Lola and Token, Red and Craig, and Esther and Bradley."
South Park
"Now, I'm going to sign each of your eggs myself,"
South Park
"so that we'll know it's the same one at the end of the week."
South Park
"That way if anybody cheats and tries to replace their eggs, we'll know, Eric"
South Park
"Okay children, you can now take the rest of the school period to decorate your egg however you wish."
South Park
"Good luck, and remember, a dead baby means an F for the parents."
South Park
"Just look at all these little families"
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"Newfound couples in a happy home."
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"It takes me back to another time"
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"When I had a love of my own."
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"Guess that I'll never know how it all went wrong. How how how?"
South Park
"Well perhaps I should try and boldly go and rekindle that love lost long ago"
South Park
"Mr. Garrison! Ohoh, Jezuth!"
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"Just let me say what I came here to say."
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"I know we had a falling out and... things were said that... shouldn't have been said."
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"I want to apologize for calling you a faggot."
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"That's, that's wonderful, Mr. Garrison!"
South Park
"Well, wait, wait, it gets better."
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"And I'm ready to take you back, Mr. Slave!"
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"What the hell is he doing here?!"
South Park
"Mr. Garrison, Al and I have been living together for a few months."
South Park
"Mr. Garrison, there's something you should know. Al and I are getting married."
South Park
"Yes."
South Park
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