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Clips from Parks and Recreation - Ron & Tammys (S04E04)

It was a little scandalous,

"It was a little scandalous,"

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I don't even know her, but she's my hero.

"I don't even know her, but she's my hero."

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No, she's no hero, April.

"No, she's no hero, April."

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She's a hellacious nightmare.

"She's a hellacious nightmare."

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She did, however, teach me everything I know.

"She did, however, teach me everything I know."

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Sunday school, sex.

"Sunday school, sex."

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She was my math teacher in middle school

"She was my math teacher in middle school"

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and my babysitter, and she taught driver's ed.

"and my babysitter, and she taught driver's ed."

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Hello.

"Hello."

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I don't believe we've met.

"I don't believe we've met."

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I don't think it will be necessary

"I don't think it will be necessary"

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for you to speak again while I'm here.

"for you to speak again while I'm here."

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Why do I only date brunettes?

"Why do I only date brunettes?"

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and you get food poisoning

"and you get food poisoning"

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Tammy One is my blonde chicken.

"Tammy One is my blonde chicken."

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Good God, Ronald.

"Good God, Ronald."

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This is a much bigger mess than I imagined.

"This is a much bigger mess than I imagined."

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You'll take a week off from work.

"You'll take a week off from work."

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We'll do a complete overhaul of your finances.

"We'll do a complete overhaul of your finances."

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I'll need access to all your accounts,

"I'll need access to all your accounts,"

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and your home.

"and your home."

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Is that necessary?

"Is that necessary?"

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Oh, oh.

"Oh, oh."

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We're playing a game where everyone says something stupid?

"We're playing a game where everyone says something stupid?"

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You. What is your name?

"You. What is your name?"

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Tim.

"Tim."

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Tim Buckenowski.

"Tim Buckenowski."

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Really?

"Really?"

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No.

"No."

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Andy Dwyer.

"Andy Dwyer."

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Andy...

"Andy..."

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You're going to collect all of this,

"You're going to collect all of this,"

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and you're going to put it in my car.

"and you're going to put it in my car."

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- What-- - Ms. Knope.

"- What-- - Ms. Knope."

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Yes?

"Yes?"

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You're going to go to payroll

"You're going to go to payroll"

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and get copies of Ronald's workplace expense reports.

"and get copies of Ronald's workplace expense reports."

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Oh, I--I'm just wondering how long that's going to take,

"Oh, I--I'm just wondering how long that's going to take,"

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because Ron and I have a very important meeting together.

"because Ron and I have a very important meeting together."

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It's called the Battle Royale.

"It's called the Battle Royale."

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It's super fun.

"It's super fun."

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Well...

"Well..."

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You and Ron have a big meeting, huh?

"You and Ron have a big meeting, huh?"

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I'm sure Ron will remember the meeting fondly

"I'm sure Ron will remember the meeting fondly"

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while he makes toilet wine in a federal prison

"while he makes toilet wine in a federal prison"

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in Terre Haute.

"in Terre Haute."

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I'll--I'll head down to payroll.

"I'll--I'll head down to payroll."

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Now.

"Now."

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You're not getting any younger.

"You're not getting any younger."

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Yes, ma'am.

"Yes, ma'am."

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She's the cold, distant mother

"She's the cold, distant mother"

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I love her.

"I love her."

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Good morning, everyone.

"Good morning, everyone."

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Good morning, sir. How can I help you?

"Good morning, sir. How can I help you?"

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Ron? Your moustache fell off.

"Ron? Your moustache fell off."

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Leslie, you goofball.

"Leslie, you goofball."

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Tammy pointed out that my face looked better

"Tammy pointed out that my face looked better"

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without any hair on it.

"without any hair on it."

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And it did collect a lot of food crumbs,

"And it did collect a lot of food crumbs,"

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which is very unsanitary.

"which is very unsanitary."

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Hey, Jer.

"Hey, Jer."

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Hump day, am I right, buddy?

"Hump day, am I right, buddy?"

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What?

"What?"

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What is going on?

"What is going on?"

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Where's Tammy One?

"Where's Tammy One?"

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She moved in with me.

"She moved in with me."

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She's really helping me out.

"She's really helping me out."

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into a joint bank account with her.

"into a joint bank account with her."

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And how is that gonna help?

"And how is that gonna help?"

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Not sure.

"Not sure."

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It is so nice having her around.

"It is so nice having her around."

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Here's something neat.

"Here's something neat."

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Tammy's got me taking baby aspirin

"Tammy's got me taking baby aspirin"

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to lower my risk of heart disease.

"to lower my risk of heart disease."

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Science is a miracle.

"Science is a miracle."

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Any-who, back to the old grindstone.

"Any-who, back to the old grindstone."

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These emails aren't gonna send themselves.

"These emails aren't gonna send themselves."

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Diabetes can't be cured.

"Diabetes can't be cured."

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But it can be prevented.

"But it can be prevented."

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And together,

"And together,"

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we can make a difference.

"we can make a difference."

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What do you think? Any notes?

"What do you think? Any notes?"

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Great.

"Great."

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Just as good, if not exactly the same

"Just as good, if not exactly the same"

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as the last one.

"as the last one."

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In that last one, I left a nanosecond

"In that last one, I left a nanosecond"

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"together" and "we."

""together" and "we.""

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It felt much better.

"It felt much better."

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But I'd love to try another one.

"But I'd love to try another one."

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I really think we've got it.

"I really think we've got it."

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Ann.

"Ann."

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This is important to me

"This is important to me"

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because it's important to you.

"because it's important to you."

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I mean, you spent a lot of time and energy

"I mean, you spent a lot of time and energy"

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Not really.

"Not really."

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So, it needs to be perfect.

"So, it needs to be perfect."

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then 20 in a row.

"then 20 in a row."

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Hey, look who it is.

"Hey, look who it is."

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Hey, hey.

"Hey, hey."

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Tom. Jean-Ralphio.

"Tom. Jean-Ralphio."

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'Sup, Jell-o shot.

"'Sup, Jell-o shot."

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Can I ask you guys a question?

"Can I ask you guys a question?"

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How exactly are you making money?

"How exactly are you making money?"

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Wanna know how we make money?

"Wanna know how we make money?"

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By literally printing out our money.

"By literally printing out our money."

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We bought a printing press.

"We bought a printing press."

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This prints bills with our faces

"This prints bills with our faces"

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"and the e720 logo on them."

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And promote the company by going to clubs

"And promote the company by going to clubs"

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and tossing the bills in the air and screaming,

"and tossing the bills in the air and screaming,"

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"Free money!"

""Free money!""

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You can't just print your own money.

"You can't just print your own money."

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This has to stop,

"This has to stop,"

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right now.

"right now."

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Aww!

"Aww!"

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What's the deal, baby?

"What's the deal, baby?"

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One second, you hit the party switch,

"One second, you hit the party switch,"

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and the next second, you're all business?

"and the next second, you're all business?"

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I need to see all of your books.

"I need to see all of your books."

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You got it, baby.

"You got it, baby."

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