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Clips from Peep Show - The William Morris Years (S09E09)

"So yeah, I'm considering something really exciting -"
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"a night in one of the Royal Parks."
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"We're stick-in-the-muds who like nothing better"
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"No, great, good. I'll be fine in the park"
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"till the loan comes through. Anyway, thanks."
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"'There goes the first beat of the butterfly wing"
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"HE YAWNS"
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"6:45. There's a lot of evening, isn't there?"
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"Get back to the William Morris documentary. Um, yeah."
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"'Wallpaper and worker's rights. God, this is like the Dark Ages."
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"'Centuries and centuries with nothing to look forward to except"
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"Are you OK there, Mark?"
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"Oh, fine, thanks, Jerry. Shouldn't be too much longer now."
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"Take your time, mate. I've paused it."
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"'ARRRGH! Thought I'd killed 20 minutes of Morris, but no!'"
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"Oh, hello, Mark. Got time for a chat?"
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"Er... 'Could just shut the door?'"
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"'Look out, Mark. My brain's got something in it,"
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"'and you don't know what something.'"
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"Quite like to get back to my reading, so..."
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"Yes, so, Mark, did you know that every time you play Candy Crush"
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"on your phone you sent out a Facebook invitation?"
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"'Fucking Facebook! Zuckerberg's fucked me again, that arsehole.'"
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"I don't think you know your settings very well."
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"Perhaps I was hacked. That happens a lot. It could."
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"Mm. It just tends to happen to people who have just sent"
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"Well, I can't think of any other explanation."
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"Look, the problem for you is"
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"I'm your friend. I know you, Mark."
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"with bayonets and typhoid, but I know the truth."
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"That smile when some eco-glass gets delayed on its way"
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"from Antwerp and the nice couple gets pushed over budget."
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"That's the real you. 'It wasn't Antwerp, it was Freiburg.'"
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"You're this pathetic human who likes Twirls and Downton"
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"and Bond and burgers,"
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"so don't come the big guy with me,"
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"because it won't fucking wash."
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"It's back onto the gold - Rossetti and the seizures."
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"'I do want Octopussy and a Twirl,"
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"'but I'm not giving him the satisfaction.'"
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"Shall we? After you. I'm interested."
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"Well, if you are going to stick around, you might want to get a book out."
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"Yeah, well, I haven't got Mr Nice with me."
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"You're reading Mr Nice AGAIN? There's a hell of a lot to it."
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"that I've forgotten most of it,"
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"'Come on, nerd. Raise the drawbridge."
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"'King Jeremy's coming back to his castle.'"
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"I take it you're a 23 degree guy, Terry? Jerry. Whatever."
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"Yes, I am. Mm. Must be awkward for Mark."
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"He's a real 21 degree-er."
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"23 versus 21."
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"It's like Israel versus Palestine, isn't it? The endless beef."
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"There's really no possible compromise."
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"Mark and I often settle on 22. 22, yeah."
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"Both one degree uncomfortable."
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"Right, who wants a nice cup of the Kenco?"
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"Jerry said he doesn't want coffee. He said he'd make his own later."
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"And then he hit me. He did not hit you."
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"Look, Mark, you need to face facts. Jerry's a wanker."
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"Kick him out and kick me back in. No. Why not? No reason."
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"No. But is it? Of course it's the fucking Dobby thing. I knew it!"
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"who I was trying to propose to. You fucked up my life!"
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"I want you to apologise! Fine!"
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"Obviously I think we're both very sorry about what happened. No dice."
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"IN AN AMERICAN ACCENT: I'm really, really sorry, Mark."
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"Say it properly, Jeremy!"
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"IN A SCOUSE ACCENT: I'm sorry. Nope. All right, fine."
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"And?! What?!"
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"Look, I'm sorry, all right? Finally!"
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"And if you like I'll lay it on with a trowel"
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"and tell you how I like you,"
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"I value you... 'Oh, Jesus, he's going to say he loves me.'"
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"Well, thank you. Come on, Mark!"
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"We're into Kelmscott Manor and the Icelandic landscape!"
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"Mark, look, if you're really not into the Willie Morris doc,"
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"why don't we change gear? The Sopranos?"
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"John Ruskin. Art patron, draughtsman,"
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"watercolourist and philanthropist."
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"I've discovered that in order to keep himself interested with"
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"all this garbage he pretends to like, Jerry drugs his head off."
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"Don't be pathetic. I saw you put something in your pocket."
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"I didn't like what I saw."
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"Coke, Mark. Jerry is a cokehead who loves to take coke."
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"No, you put that in there. I took it out,"
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"No, you put it in earlier. You put it in at an earlier time."
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"Oh, what a terrible thing to accuse me of! Come on, Mark."
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"Tell him to knack off and we'll get down to some Ruskin and a-readin'."
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"The thing is, Jerry, I'm not sure I could live with a drug head."
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"This is ridiculous. It's laughable."
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"Why are you trying to get rid of me, Mark? You don't believe him."
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"Maybe I'm not quite as interested in William Morris as I thought I was"
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"when you first started to go on about him."
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"What if I don't want to go? Well, we can't go back now."
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"The atmosphere is soured."
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"Well, I can't. 'Yes, you bloody can.' Tough."
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"I'm going to go to MY bedroom now,"
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"and I will be coming and going as I please."
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"With polonium? Not full Litvinenko."
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"Just a little bit of something debilitating in his pasta each night."
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"Grind him down, weaken him, till he's all pathetic"
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"and dump him. Um..."
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"You might quite like tending him"
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"as he grows weaker and weaker."
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""Oh, do sit up, Jerry,"
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"Earplugs and eye mask, the full lot."
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"Well, we could start by just moving his stuff out."
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"Could we?"
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"HE SNORES"
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"WHISPERING: OK, we're nearly there. Last two."
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"It's like a prank. Oi-oi."
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"How's the ethnic cleansing going?"
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"Hans? I thought it might be a good idea to have some backup."
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"I owe Jez. He took a bullet for me."
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"You, you're a pure chrome dildo. Solid."
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"OK."
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"Everything's out. What now?"
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"We could tie him to a hot-air balloon."
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"Then he would drift away out of the window."
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"Erm... You like that? The hot-air balloon?"
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"Or...punch him? Hans? What you looking at me for?"
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