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Clips from Community - Football, Feminism and You (S01E01)

"I think he's been pretty clear"
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"You starting to get what I mean?"
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"You know, I didn't... realize before,"
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"Hmm?"
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"Law firms."
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"Lawyer..."
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"Companies?"
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"Legal..."
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"Gatherings?"
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"Gentlemen..."
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"That's a falcon with a gun."
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"Now it's a falcon with an erection."
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"Oh! Hi, Abed!"
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"- Uh, yes. - I'll go with you."
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"You know what? I'm good."
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"Okay. What's the closest planet to Earth?"
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"But it shows how fun astronomy can be."
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"Hey, Troy, can I talk to you for a sec?"
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"We're studying, so Troy's busy."
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"Well, the galaxy's not going anywhere."
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"I miss being the best at something."
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"I miss knowing what to think."
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"- Oh, good. - For instance,"
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"- That dude looks like Moby! - We were thinking..."
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"What if Troy did play for Greendale?"
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"You'd be surprised"
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"at how many of your favorite football players"
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"got started at community college."
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"Maybe you and I should go check out"
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"the "Greendale Thunderdome"."
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"Let me tell you a little secret about me, Troy."
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"just to get a glimpse of the world that I once ruled."
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"And I just wanna jump out of my car,"
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"run up the steps and..."
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"Exploit the legal system for profit."
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"But I can't."
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"You're not. You see what I'm saying?"
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"I'm saying you're a football player!"
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"- It's in your blood! - That's racist!"
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"- Your soul. - That's racist."
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"- That's racist! - Damn."
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"When you played, you were a god."
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"Yeah, but Annie said..."
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"Look, she's a smart girl, but sometimes she's just wrong."
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"85... Go long!"
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"It's like a drug, isn't it?"
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"Feel it, Troy. Throw it!"
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"The scoreboard lights up."
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"There will be a scoreboard there."
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"It's complete! Nice catch!"
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"The girls, the glory, the scouts, the career!"
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"Look, you can meet them later."
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"How did you know my nickname's T-Bone?"
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"Because you're a football player,"
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"and your name begins with "T"."
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"Britta?"
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"Oh. Are you finished?"
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"for the position of bathroom companion."
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"Oh, Britta, I wasn't trying to hurt your feelings."
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"You didn't hurt my feelings, Shirley."
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"I don't need to go to the bathroom with other people."
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"I was just trying to throw you a bone because I like you."
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"Oh. You can keep that bone."
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"Listening to a story about a stranger pissing me off"
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"and taking the stranger's side?"
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"And then you can't talk about your own business,"
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"but you insinuate my mama's a robot"
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"support each other and... discreetly eliminate waste."
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"Even like that you're a little hard."
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"But if you can't learn to be soft in there,"
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"you need to pee alone."
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"I've peed alone my whole life."
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"Women have always hated me."
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"Maybe it was when I got boobs before everyb..."
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"Not out here."
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"Whoo!"
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"You dropped your books, poindexter. Yeah!"
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"It's all right, I'm worth it. * Hip, hop, body don't stop *"
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"Troy."
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"high school shamefully outdated fight rap?"
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"Threw the skin around a couple of times."
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"Still got it."
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"But you knew we had an astronomy test tomorrow."
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"Class blows."
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"What I need to know about the Universe"
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"This is the arrogant jock"
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"that totally ignored the only people that truly liked him"
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"because their parents are bigots!"
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"Jeff said you'd say that."
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"Troy! Troy, Troy, Troy."
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"- we'll be in better shape. - Yeah, you're right."
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"Wow."
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"We are developing the perfect mascot."
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"we're staying away from... Pan-Asian eye folds,"
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"- Is that seal? - That is our human color wheel."
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"It goes from seal to seal's teeth."
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"Ooh! I left the nose in the kiln."
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"until the press announces that Troy is a part of the team."
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"Reporters are gonna be there."
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"We're gonna unveil the new mascot."
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"And things are finally going to start turning around."
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"Oh, and... my ex-therapist"
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"is gonna think twice before he makes fun of my job!"
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"I've been following you."
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"How much did the Dean pay you to make Troy play football?"
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"Horrible pictures of me..."
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"And for that you'd convince Troy"
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"to flush his life down football's toilet again?"
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"Britta's right, you are the most selfish person alive!"
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"And all that is gonna end right now."
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"you're hopelessly in love with him."
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"High school must have been tough, huh?"
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"But here... here... he's all alone,"
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"and he needs so much help!"
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"Did you enroll in all of his classes,"
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"The important thing is that you are the only one there for him."
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"And you don't really care what he wants..."
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"share him with the rest of the world."
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"Because, really, you are just as selfish as I am."
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"You're just not as good at it yet."
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