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Clips from Community - Football, Feminism and You (S01E01)

"You said Weiner. That's funny."
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"Pierce and Troy didn't get along at first,"
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"but now they're bonding through mutual adolescence."
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"- Shut up, boo-boo head. - Will you shut up, fart head?"
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"Hi, everybody."
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"Well, look at this group having some kind of meeting"
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"and being so diverse."
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"There is just... boy!"
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"but we don't want one, so beat it."
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"Sorry. Just my luck."
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"Sometimes I just roll around campus like a little football."
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"Here I am in a random conversation about football,"
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"and I'm talking to Troy Barnes,"
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"star quarterback from Riverside High... whoa."
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"Troy, did you know that Greendale has a football team?"
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"Ha. That's very funny."
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"But now that you have recovered,"
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"we would love for you to play for the "Human Beings"."
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"The team's name is the "Human Beings"?"
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"Well, a lot of these students"
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"Unfortunately, I don't know what to do about the mascot."
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"I have a wealth of experience"
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"and Y2K Preparedness."
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"to turn Greendale around."
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"Getting injured in that "keg stand""
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"was the best thing that ever happened to him."
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"Bros before Hoes, Troy."
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"Listen, man."
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"and I finished on top."
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"I wouldn't play for this school with a 10-foot pole."
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"Until then, would you excuse us?"
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"the field is always open."
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"Oh, figuratively speaking."
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"You know, Wednesdays and Sundays"
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"Okay."
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"Now let's meet the minimum requirements"
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"for a language credit, shall we?"
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"Yes, but I need to go to the bathroom first."
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"I'll go with you."
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"What? She's offended?"
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"Girls go in groups."
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"Did you learn nothing from stand-up comedy in the '90s?"
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"I'm willing to try some more mainstream feminine stuff."
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"Well, then you should know that nothing says "I'm a woman""
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"like doing it with me."
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"Will they or won't they? Sexual tension."
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"Abed, it makes the group uncomfortable"
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"when you talk about us"
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"like we're characters in a show you're watching."
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"Well, that's sort of my gimmick."
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"It looks like they won something once."
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"So we should still study"
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"Maybe over some Milky Ways or some Mars Bars."
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"Or pancakes!"
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""I'm jeff. And I'm a student at Greendale.""
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"That's not good."
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"because it reacts spontaneously to..."
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"Okay, guys, seriously, we've talked about this, okay?"
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"You have got to turn off your cell..."
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"That's mine. My bad."
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"I'm going to the bathroom."
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"Would you like to come with me?"
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"Well, yes, yes, I would."
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"Oh, that's nice!"
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"Okay, what's it called?"
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"Antoni... An... hold on."
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"Does anyone have a pen? Pen?"
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"No one has a pen."
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"Why would you not bring a pen to class?"
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"Idiot."
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"and this no-good, clearly bald"
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"but trying to hide it with a bandana loser"
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"swooped right in. I couldn't believe it."
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"Maybe. So you... got any family, Britta?"
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"Yeah, whatever."
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"She and I are gonna get makeovers at that Spa..."
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"They sure have us programmed, right?"
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"I am a female pleasure unit."
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"I require a new coat of paint."
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"Just something I thought might be fun."
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"Here's something I think might be fun."
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"Let's find out the number of makeup companies"
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"I'll save you the trouble. It's zero."
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"But of course you're saying, "Britta, aren't you a hypocrite?""
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""You're plastered with glitter and goo from head to toe, ""
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""just like the rest of us.""
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"Well, I also pay income tax and pull over for cops,"
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"That's no problem."
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"Which I modeled after da Vinci's Vitruvian Man."
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"The penis is a little small, I think."
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"- Oh, I think it's... - Oh. Okay."
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"It... looks a lot like you."
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"Um, here's the thing."
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"what message are we sending?"
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"Our symbol needs to reflect the diversity of our school"
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"and our species."
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"We are the "Greendale Human Beings"."
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"Yeah."
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"Sorry to disturb you guys..."
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"Who are clearly looking at a naked drawing"
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"- Excuse me. - Okay. Fill me in later."
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"Whoa."
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"I'll go with a pencil."
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"- First of all... - Mm-hmm."
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"- I'm flattered. - Oh, well."
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"and I thought, where's the heart?"
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"Where's the soul?"
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"You know, I did think those were less than personable,"
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"which is why I went with the full bodies"
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"in these mailers we have going out."
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"on the back of your registration form?"
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"I'm starting to see why someone used to be a lawyer."
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"Ha ha! Up top!"
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"If someone from the outside were to find..."
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"Okay, if someone from the outside were to find out"
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"that I am a student at a community college,"
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"that could have a negative impact on my future career."
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"Oh. Goodness."
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"I suppose I wouldn't need this promotional campaign"
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"If I could announce to the press"
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