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Clips from South Park - Asspen (S06E06)

"- You've never Hitlered anyone? - No, I never have."
South Park
"- Shall we do our 30-minute meeting? - Do we have to do it right now?"
South Park
"Boys, we have to go to this timeshare presentation real quick,"
South Park
"but you go meet your ski instructor on the bunny hill."
South Park
"- Hey, do you guys smell that? - Smell what?"
South Park
"I don't smell anything, do you, guys?"
South Park
"Do you guys smell that? It smells bad out here, too."
South Park
"All right, little dudes. Great to see you out here."
South Park
"My name is Thumper and I'm gonna be your cool ski instructor!"
South Park
"We're gonna take it slow, take it easy, make sure everybody has a good time."
South Park
"'Cause what is skiing about? Having a good..."
South Park
"Time. That's right."
South Park
"Now, just a few safety things to keep in mind."
South Park
"First of all, look straight ahead when you ski."
South Park
"If you look down, you're gonna fall. You're gonna have a bad time."
South Park
"your skis are gonna cross. Gonna have a bad time."
South Park
"So where's the part where we have a good time?"
South Park
"Hey, little dude, you got some crap right here."
South Park
"That's my face, sir!"
South Park
"until we know our two primary feet positions."
South Park
"To go slow, we wedge our skis together in the shape of a slice of pizza."
South Park
"Then to go faster, we put them parallel like"
South Park
"Pizza. French fries. Pizza. French fries."
South Park
"Hey, this is gonna be just like eating at Shakey's, huh, fellas?"
South Park
"Okay, Mike. Ski down to me."
South Park
"Go on, Ike."
South Park
"Pizza. French fries. French fries!"
South Park
"He French fried when he should have pizza'd."
South Park
"You French fry when you pizza, you're gonna have a bad time."
South Park
"And so we think we can convince you"
South Park
"to buy one of our condos that's opening right here in Phase Four."
South Park
"That sounds like a great investment opportunity."
South Park
"Yeah, to be honest, we're just doing this meeting"
South Park
"because of the two-nights-free deal."
South Park
"I know. That's what everybody says. "Not me, I can't afford it.""
South Park
"But what if I told you, you could own one of our properties for only $8,000?"
South Park
"Well, you see, timeshare means you buy the condo"
South Park
"with about 20 other people like yourselves."
South Park
"You share the condo with other investors and pick the"
South Park
"- time you want to stay. - Share, time. Timeshare!"
South Park
"- So then it's not really ours. - Sure, it is!"
South Park
"You see, timeshare has made it possible for even working-class people"
South Park
"like you to say, "I've got a little place in Aspen.""
South Park
"Try it. Try saying it. "I've got a little place in Aspen.""
South Park
"- I've got a little place in Aspen. - I've got a little place in Aspen."
South Park
"Say, guys, how'd you like to tell that hot secretary,"
South Park
"Well, you still gotta come to the timeshare luncheon."
South Park
"- Come on, Cartman! - No more."
South Park
"Looks like you think you're a pretty good skier, huh, kid?"
South Park
"Well, I'm catching on pretty fast, I guess."
South Park
"I've been skiing for 22 years. Think you can beat me?"
South Park
"- No. - What's your name, hotshot?"
South Park
"- Stan Marsh. - Stan Marsh?"
South Park
"- Darsh. - All right. How about a race then?"
South Park
"- You and me! - Dude, I'm just learning."
South Park
"I never said I was."
South Park
"you'll always be number 2. See you later, Darsh!"
South Park
"And that is why owning a piece of an Aspen condo is not only possible..."
South Park
"It's downright smart!"
South Park
"Here it is, as promised. A fabulous free lunch!"
South Park
"- Wow, filet mignon and lobster! - Not bad."
South Park
"It's nice to feel rich, isn't it?"
South Park
"- Oh, you know, this is really great! - It sure is!"
South Park
"You get a little taste of luxuries you can't afford."
South Park
"And then share it with the people that come tomorrow!"
South Park
"All right, look, we've been here for over three hours."
South Park
"Of course you can! Go hit those slopes! If you could just please show me"
South Park
"the backs of your table place cards real quick?"
South Park
"Oh, my God. You got the red sticker!"
South Park
"What's the red sticker?"
South Park
"Well, that means if you come up to the condo-sales office,"
South Park
"Okay, okay, fine. I mean..."
South Park
"It would only take a second but, I mean, you know..."
South Park
"I wonder where our parents are?"
South Park
"Who cares? I'm having more fun on my own."
South Park
"- Oh, no. - Say, Darsh,"
South Park
"you don't mind if I take Heather out for some fondue tonight, do you?"
South Park
"Sorry, Stan. It's just that when it comes to skiing, Tad has all the right moves."
South Park
"You aren't mad are you, Stan?"
South Park
"I mean, a girl's got to look out for her best interests."
South Park
"Stan Marsh the Darsh."
South Park
"All right, dude, if I race you, will you leave me alone?"
South Park
"- Race! Race! - Race! Race!"
South Park
"Ladies and gentlemen, Aspen Mountain presents"
South Park
"another extreme-racing showdown."
South Park
"versus 8-year-old Stan Marsh."
South Park
"- You're going down, little boy. - Yeah, probably."
South Park
"Do you think Stan has a chance?"
South Park
"Go, Stan!"
South Park
"He's got him! Tad's gonna win it!"
South Park
"Yeah! You lose, Darsh!"
South Park
"Stan, for whatever it's worth, I think you were really brave."
South Park
"Hey, all the cool teens are gonna be at the Youth Centre tonight for a dance."
South Park
"Well, you're just so... Well, that's all."
South Park
"Finally, we get to go skiing!"
South Park
"Oh, my God, look how long the lift lines are!"
South Park
"- from the timeshare company. - Go right on ahead, folks."
South Park
"Well, this certainly is nice."
South Park
"- we'll get more runs in than anybody. - Have fun waiting in line, suckers!"
South Park
"Welcome back, folks."
South Park
"God damn it!"
South Park
"I'm glad you guys came. Do you like our youth centre?"
South Park
"- It seems fine. - Yeah, too bad we're getting shut down."
South Park
"- Where are all us kids supposed to go? - Don't care."
South Park
"- What do you wanna do now? - I don't know."
South Park
"Butters, I hate you with every inch of my body."
South Park
"This is a song I wrote about Stan Marsh."
South Park
"Stan Darsh!"
South Park
"Stan Darsh! Stan Darsh!"
South Park
"Stan Darsh! Stan Darsh! Darsh!"
South Park
"Dude, what the hell is your problem?"
South Park
"I raced you. You won."
South Park
"A rematch?"
South Park
"Darsh, you're even dumber than I thought."
South Park
"- He'll ski you anytime, anywhere! - Yeah!"
South Park
"But this time if he wins, you get your dad to not close our youth centre!"
South Park
"- What? - All right, then."
South Park
"Let's make it interesting. Tomorrow afternoon on the K-13."
South Park
"The K-13? But that's the most dangerous run in all of America."
South Park
"I'll be there, you queen!"
South Park
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