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Clips from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015) - Kimmy Goes to Church! (S03E03)

"Oh, God. It's Swan Lake all over again."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"No, it's not."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Back then, you thought those people were better than you."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Now you know they suck just as much as you do."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You don't understand."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Hey, you're not that kid with the bucket of worms anymore."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You're a much older lady with a hammer."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And hammer beats worms every time, baby."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"The Easter Krampus!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Hide your shoes, children!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Hide your shoes, children!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Buckley!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Jacqueline?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Jacqueline's having a breakdown."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"At least my son didn't poop his pants at the Met Ball."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Only because Kate Hudson and Blake Lively were wearing very similar dresses"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"and it freaked him out."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You all have to understand what Jacqueline has been through this year."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"The divorce. Her boyfriend getting smooshed."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And now it seems the poor thing is Grey Gardens-ing."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Huh. This time, I'm not crying."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Hammer beats worms."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Obviously. So what?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'm the one who decided we were over cake pops."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I don't care what any of you people think."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And my son is clinically a spazzoid."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Mom, she didn't say that!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And there's more. I'm from South Dakota."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And guess what."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'm fine with that, because I'm not that kid anymore."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"There was no robbery. I shot myself."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You didn't beat me."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I don't care!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Now, if you'll excuse me,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I have to go pick up my son's anti-spazz suppositories."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"This morning's reading is from Saint James."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Brothers and sisters, do not slander or judge one another,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"for who are you to judge your neighbor?""
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Whoomp, here this is! Testimony!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"That usually comes later, Sister Kimmy,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Damn millennials."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Check it, wreck it. Let's begin."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I thought I'd found a safe place here."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Safe like home base in Capture the Flag."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And not the kind that goes on pillows or the brand of ham that Titus buys."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Girl, read the text!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"That's right, Titus. The text."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You use this as an excuse to act like phonies and crumb-bums."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"'Cause people here sure talk a big game"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"about being good and kind and touching kids' feet with foreskins,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"It!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Liars and deceivers and jerkatrons have made a nest here,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"like a family of ducks!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"No. Not cute ducks."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"This whole place is a wolves' nest."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And if Jesus was here, he'd be all, "I should've stuck with carpentry!""
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"-Amen! -Tell the truth!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"So..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"because it's all just people, and people are bad."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Like Miss Clara,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"who stole that brooch from the clothing drive."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"She didn't, baby girl."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Also, the coat is hers."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You're dumb. I texted you all of this."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"We're here to ask Jesus!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"We all make mistakes, Sister Kimmy."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Everybody in here is a born sinner."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I myself smoke the devil's weed."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"- When you know better... - You do better!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I've been cheating on M'diet."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"- M'diet's my wife's name. - Help him, Lord!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Amen!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I wasn't at a wedding last weekend."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I know."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'm a gossip... and a scold."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"But I pray every day for the strength to do better."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I got to do better."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"So... I guess real religion is about knowing we're not perfect"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"but trying to be better."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"'cause someone tied your hair to the crank."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"We all are, praise Jesus."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Feel the Spirit, Brother Titus."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Titus, I've been thinking a lot about God lately."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Winky face, French flag, pumpkin."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Wow."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"It's the day Jesus got nailed to a cross to slowly suffocate."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"-I don't get it. -I don't care."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Go, church!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"That was very funny, by the way."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"My name is Miss Clara LeBueff,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"But don't let me catch you on the Facebooks again in church."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Hmm."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"He's real."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'm not looking for a whole to-do here."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Yes, you are."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I did it, Kimmy."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"If he's the lead, who else is in this choir?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Well, you can say your good-byes now."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Heavenly Father!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I, for one, hope we both live to see it."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"ever since we got the pew closest to the air-conditioning."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"So she used my sin to get us moved all the way to the back."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"After meeting me, they all said they'd pray for me."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You just watch, K-Stew."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"or inner beauty."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You know, last night, after we sang the theme song to Sister Act,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, honey, it is not my idea."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"The boy has no father. It's a sad story."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Honey, you be Ruth and shoulder my burden."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"but she has the same number of holes as anyone else."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Don't they know I can reassemble those doughnuts?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Shame. Shame!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I couldn't sleep last night."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Look, honey."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"if you put on one of mine."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'm just making an educated guess about you,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"but I'm allergic to cats."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I finally get the title to the movie Face/Off!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"What white nonsense is this?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
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