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Clips from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015) - Kimmy Goes to Church! (S03E03)

"Girl, why do you just assume that I--"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Okay, fine. I got kicked out 'cause..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Whatever."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"First of all, that'd be a great T-shirt for a medical examiner on her day off."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Second of all, I'm working on it."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Well, here's your chance to do a good deed."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Take me to church on Sunday."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'll do you one better."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Noice! What's Good Friday?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And also, they stabbed him and made him drink vinegar and laughed at him."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"How is that good?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh. Like Seinfeld."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Wonderful!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"-- Hey."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Is this too Egyptian for a Seder?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"What do I have that screams "white lady"?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I took this from the trash at Jacqueline's while I was throwing up raw turkey."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Everything happens for a reason."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, it's too cold and shiny for me."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"But speaking of Jacqueline,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'll go down there tomorrow after my talk at the Whitney."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"There is no Cindy Sherman."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"-If you want to call it that. -Ooh."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"-Is there a black name for it? -No."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Women really can be anything except president or late-night hosts."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"For what greater love is there than this,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And now, friends, we've come to the time"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"where you are invited to share your testimony."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"All may, none must."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Hi. I'm Kimmy."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"- And you people... - Huh?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"- ...have really won me over. - Aw!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I love church!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"When we greeted our neighbors, I hugged three new people."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"The music, the stories, the hats!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I went to a store with my friend earlier."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"It was just hats!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"No."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Who knew churches did all this good stuff?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Feed the hungry, read to the blind,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"explain movies to the elderly."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Titus, they're having choir auditions tomorrow."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"without making the accidentals sound like an accident."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Isn't this exactly the kind of stuff you're trying to do?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Yes. Lending my obscene talents"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Only better 'cause it's modern times and everything's so much harder now."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Pardon me."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Kimmy."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"and I run the Easter clothing drive."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"- Miss Clara. - All right, honey."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Here's you car phone back."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"and when it all comes out, the result is just as toxic."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Eh, I took the freight elevator 'cause the doorman thought I was garbage."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"To what do I owe the pleasure?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Well, my boyfriend invited me to a Seder with his kids."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And what a handsome boyfriend he is."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Pleased to meet you, sir."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You know, he owns those Big Naturals supermarkets."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You're dating Arthur Goodman?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"He's single?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"No one on the message boards told me his wife died."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Yeah, well, you know, I was hoping you could do me a solid"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"and let me borrow some earrings."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Well, jewelry's a good start."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And we'll do some makeup, and we'll straighten that hair."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Who are you wearing?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
""Hart Island Burial Smock.""
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Don't you want to impress Artie's children?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You could be spending a lot of time with them in court after he dies."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Uh, all right."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"But no fur."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"but I'd love to hear it a little bit more like..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I humbled myself and joined the saddest"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"gospel choir outside Madonna's tour bus, just like Jesus would have."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Hey, if you have anything to donate to the clothing drive--"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I have performed my humanitarian act for today."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Me singing with that choir is like Michael Jordan playing basketball"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"What? What are you talking about?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And that choir director, Reuben,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"A bunch of late-'90s car alarms?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, I'm sorry, sugar. You're on the phone."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"The two of us need to talk."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Mm, Jeez."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"If I'm not mistaken, today is the 15th."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"We're getting to the best part: shopping!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"--Deirdre!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Mwah. Mwah."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Deirdre Robespierre. I'm Head Mom at St. Clotilde's."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Lillian Kaushtupper."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'm just getting over a case of athlete's palm."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"for the children's Easter egg hunt?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"I'll be there for pickup. Buckley's father is dropping him off."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"My ex-husband's job is crazy now with all the YUKO uprisings."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh, right, the divorce."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Next time, get a husband"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"who's simply having an emotional affair with his sister."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"They can't get married."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Oh! Till tomorrow, then."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"-Sweet tea or lemonade? -Sweet tea."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"-Popeyes or Church's? -Please. Waffle House."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"-You got a girlfriend? -No one as good as my mama."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"You too, ma'am."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"How can I prove I'm a good person"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Uh-huh. And why would she do that?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"That's what persons do."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"They gossip and put other people down so they can feel superior."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Not if they follow the Bible."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"As Jesus said, "Won't you be my neighbor?""
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"So when they call someone out for skimping on the collection,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"The old ladies are better at finding the quotes."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Titus, that doesn't--"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Because that 12-year-old boy who got kicked out of the choir..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"was me!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Yeah. You said that."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"That was the whole story."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"But what came after was all Bernice."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Back at Ray's Original Baptist Church in Chickasaw County, Mississippi,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"our Clara was named Bernice."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"And when I committed the sin of pridefulness and vanity..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
"Bernice had hated us Wilkersons"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt(2015)
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