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Clips from M*A*S*H - Love Story (S01E01)

"That‘s a nice—looking hors d‘oeuvre."
M*A*S*H
"Would you like a doggie bag in advance?"
M*A*S*H
"You gotta stay in training for the Olympic Glutton Team."
M*A*S*H
"— That‘s a first. — Radar not eating."
M*A*S*H
"— I‘m in conference, Major. — What I have to say is important."
M*A*S*H
"I love shy, retiring women."
M*A*S*H
"Notyour usual something, but something that means something."
M*A*S*H
"[ Cur/er] Hawkeye, do you mind?"
M*A*S*H
"Keep your voice down. You‘re disturbing the patient."
M*A*S*H
"Real/y, Hawkeye, you act like such a child at times!"
M*A*S*H
"J; [ Whistling]"
M*A*S*H
"— Yeah, it‘s not organic. — Right. Your body is i—A,"
M*A*S*H
"I‘ve seen these symptoms before. It‘s called “goldbricking.”"
M*A*S*H
"— It‘s nothing, I said! — [Frank] Now, listen to me, soldier"
M*A*S*H
"“Godless hoard”?"
M*A*S*H
"Oh, nerts to you."
M*A*S*H
"Come on, Radar, let us helpyou."
M*A*S*H
"Tell us, what‘s turning you into a fruitcake?"
M*A*S*H
"Put it on the thing."
M*A*S*H
"I‘m sorry about what happened,"
M*A*S*H
"I‘ll even get him to clean his glasses."
M*A*S*H
"There‘sjust the sound ofthe rippling water."
M*A*S*H
"And then after that, it‘sjust soft,"
M*A*S*H
"Radar who?"
M*A*S*H
"What?"
M*A*S*H
"Well, thanks for the try, guys. I really appreciate it."
M*A*S*H
"No, look. Let‘s face it."
M*A*S*H
"— Corporal, get the lieutenants‘ bags. — Uh,yes, sir."
M*A*S*H
"Actually, this is a very nice bottle ofwine."
M*A*S*H
"just to show it was made out ofgrapes."
M*A*S*H
"It‘s for those bad days when the surgeons get restless. Call me Hawkeye."
M*A*S*H
"Ithinkyou‘ll find we‘re a mighty friendly bunch offolks..."
M*A*S*H
"There‘s one guy in particular I know you‘d enjoy meeting."
M*A*S*H
"You‘ve got some great toe—tappers here."
M*A*S*H
"“Well,“ he said. How about later? Pickyou up around 8:00?"
M*A*S*H
"Hawkeye, people with brains don‘t get transferred here."
M*A*S*H
"You can‘t possibly read all ofthese."
M*A*S*H
"“Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire ”.7 That sounds serious."
M*A*S*H
"Well, it was no picnic."
M*A*S*H
"Youjust spoiled the movie for me."
M*A*S*H
"— No. — No, come on. Tryit. Tryit."
M*A*S*H
"That‘s highly significant."
M*A*S*H
"Yeah, I like that."
M*A*S*H
"You might have to get into a discussion about music with her."
M*A*S*H
"— Music? — She‘s got some pretty highbrow tastes."
M*A*S*H
"|fshe throws the other guys at you, like Shostakovich——"
M*A*S*H
"Go back to looking sick."
M*A*S*H
"What do I do ifshe asks me what! likein music?"
M*A*S*H
"Yeah, we try not to let the war spill over into the cocktail hour."
M*A*S*H
"— Right, Radar? Remember that? Flexible. — Yeah. Flexible."
M*A*S*H
"or not work at his writing."
M*A*S*H
"That‘s highly significant."
M*A*S*H
"— Would you like some ketchup? — |twou|dn‘t hurt."
M*A*S*H
"Thanks. Real service."
M*A*S*H
"Yeah, that‘s interesting."
M*A*S*H
"It‘s from The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire."
M*A*S*H
"— As a matter of fact, he‘s voracious. — Really?"
M*A*S*H
"Maybe it is..."
M*A*S*H
"It‘s almost obscene, that‘s what it is."
M*A*S*H
"I was telling Radar about all those great records you have."
M*A*S*H
"And ofcourse, I never travel anywhere without good oldjohann Sebastian."
M*A*S*H
"Ah, Bach."
M*A*S*H
"I think once you‘ve said that, you‘ve said it all."
M*A*S*H
"a complexity that adds up to actual simplicity."
M*A*S*H
"It goes beyond emotion."
M*A*S*H
"That means my marriage is onlyworth $1.78?"
M*A*S*H
"I did not hear that. And ifit comes to that,"
M*A*S*H
"I will deny any complicity with, or knowledge of,"
M*A*S*H
"You got it."
M*A*S*H
"Our film today deals with the newest methods oftreating cardiogenic shock."
M*A*S*H
"followed of course, byslide..."
M*A*S*H
"“B. ” Slide “5. ”"
M*A*S*H
"Last night they sewed me into my blanket."
M*A*S*H
"Dr. Trueheart must have something going tonight, right, lover?"
M*A*S*H
"— Anybody we know? — Anybody we missed?"
M*A*S*H
"Oh, you‘d be clean with or without a beard, Frank."
M*A*S*H
"You‘re so clean, you‘re dirty."
M*A*S*H
"An officer should respect himself and the men he commands——"
M*A*S*H
"Oh, no."
M*A*S*H
"Major Burns‘ compliments, ma‘am."
M*A*S*H
"They gave me a cologne overdose."
M*A*S*H
"— You‘re a very important man, ma‘am. -Well--"
M*A*S*H
"I was told I was needed, and here I am."
M*A*S*H
"—What are we doing? —Just a little pillow talk."
M*A*S*H
"What are you doing in my bed?"
M*A*S*H
"— Let them enjoy — No!"
M*A*S*H
"We have a “stop it.” Do I hear an “uncle“?"
M*A*S*H
"[ Huffs] Uncle!"
M*A*S*H
"— And you‘ll stay off Henry‘s back? — I‘ll get offHenry‘s back."
M*A*S*H
"— And they owe it all to us. — The Acme Cupid Company."
M*A*S*H
"his achievement, let alone his prodigious output,"
M*A*S*H
"[ Trapper Laughing]"
M*A*S*H
"— Hey, Radar, why don‘t you eat with us? — [Coughing]"
M*A*S*H
"Okay."
M*A*S*H
"Don‘t give him a doggie bag. He eats those, too, with cream and sugar."
M*A*S*H
"Hey, what‘s the matter, kid? Come on."
M*A*S*H
"I‘ll see you guys later."
M*A*S*H
"— What about your lunch? — I‘m not eating."
M*A*S*H
"— Aw, come on. — Henry, we were there."
M*A*S*H
"Yesterdayl walked in here and found him..."
M*A*S*H
"on top ofthat filing cabinet in the fetal position."
M*A*S*H
"— The fetal position? — Dr. Freud, call your office, please."
M*A*S*H
"And this morning, General Clayton called for the monthly report,"
M*A*S*H
"and Radartold him, “We don‘t deliver.”"
M*A*S*H
"— Well, we don‘t. — Not after 6:00."
M*A*S*H
"— That‘s not the point. — Colonel Blake."
M*A*S*H
"Colonel Blake, I requisitioned surgical silk for the OR,"
M*A*S*H
"and I was sent two boxes of ordinary cotton thread."
M*A*S*H
"What are we supposed to do with that?"
M*A*S*H
"How about learning petit point?"
M*A*S*H
"The next time you see me, I want a salute, Captain."
M*A*S*H
"You‘d better do something about the requisition foul—ups, Colonel."
M*A*S*H
"I wonder how she‘d like some plaster of paris in her shaving cream."
M*A*S*H
"Cotton thread."
M*A*S*H
"Henry, he‘s cracking up."
M*A*S*H
"Or sick. Or both."
M*A*S*H
"Suppose we give him a complete physical, take him through a real workup."
M*A*S*H
"Henry, that‘s a good idea."
M*A*S*H
"Hey, you know, you‘re cute."
M*A*S*H
"Just take the picture."
M*A*S*H
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