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Clips from Three's Company - A Man About the House (S01E01)

"Look at that crack in the ceiling."
Three's Company
"Their party did that."
Three's Company
"That was the earthquake."
Three's Company
"What earthquake?"
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"The big one, don't you remember?"
Three's Company
"Oh, it was thrilling."
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"Thrilling?"
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"Yeah, it was the first time our bed moved in years."
Three's Company
"Will you get your mind out of the bed and onto the ceiling?"
Three's Company
"This is my building. They should get my permission"
Three's Company
"Before they throw parties like that."
Three's Company
"Oh, come on, Stanley, it was just a little party."
Three's Company
"A going away party for one of the girls."
Three's Company
"If you'd go away, I’d give a party."
Three's Company
"[ Laughter ]"
Three's Company
"You know, it's a shame you don't live in India,"
Three's Company
"You'd be sacred there. [ Laughter ]"
Three's Company
"And contented. [ Laughter ]"
Three's Company
"All right, which one of us is going to go up and complain?"
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"Well, I think it should be the head of the house."
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"Right."
Three's Company
"I'll go as soon as my nails are dry."
Three's Company
"[ Laughter ]"
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"Pants, socks, shorts-- Anything else?"
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"Only things that don't come off."
Three's Company
"Here, you can put this on."
Three's Company
"Me, wear this? You've got to be kidding?"
Three's Company
"Eleanor didn't like it either, that's why she left it behind."
Three's Company
"Yeah, but--"
Three's Company
"It's the only thing we have that'll fit you."
Three's Company
"Don't say anything."
Three's Company
"What do you think?"
Three's Company
"I can't tell. I'm used to seeing it pregnant."
Three's Company
"If the guys at the gym could see me now"
Three's Company
"You want to put these in the oven?"
Three's Company
"Sure."
Three's Company
"The oven?"
Three's Company
"Can you think of a better way to dry them?"
Three's Company
"Uh, you don't happen to have a razor do you?"
Three's Company
"Yeah, you can borrow mine."
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"Great."
Three's Company
"There you go. [ Laughter ]"
Three's Company
"I have a very light beard."
Three's Company
"Uh, is there any shaving cream?"
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"No."
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"It's going to be painful."
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"Wait. Try this."
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"Oh, yeah. Thank you, this will be fine."
Three's Company
"What is it?"
Three's Company
"We use it to clean the sink. [ Laughter ]"
Three's Company
"Oh, boy, you really loused up that toast."
Three's Company
"It's not my fault, Eleanor didn't leave the recipe."
Three's Company
"[ Laughter ]"
Three's Company
"Are the scrambled eggs ready yet?"
Three's Company
"Yeah, for the garbage pail. [ Laughter ]"
Three's Company
"What's cooking?"
Three's Company
"Breakfast. You're just in time."
Three's Company
"Oh, do you mind if I eat in my boots?"
Three's Company
"I'd rather you ate off the table."
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"It started out as scrambled eggs."
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"Really?"
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"Yes."
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"Well, I’m--I'm sure it's delicious."
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"[ Laughter ]"
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"I, uh, this--This--Is horrible."
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"[ Laughter ]"
Three's Company
"Oh."
Three's Company
"Do you think you could do any better?"
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"The proof will be in the eating."
Three's Company
"Let me see what you've got in here."
Three's Company
"Okay. Eggs, butter, what are these?"
Three's Company
"Mushrooms, an onion-- We'll start with that."
Three's Company
"Start what?"
Three's Company
"Eggs madera fun chów, can you boil an egg?"
Three's Company
"I don't know, Eleanor always did the cooking."
Three's Company
"[ Laughter ]"
Three's Company
"Are you sure that you know what you're doing?"
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"Oh, yes."
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"I'm studying to be a chef at the L.A. Technical college."
Three's Company
"You are leaping at the galloping gourmet of 1980."
Three's Company
"Oh, it takes that long? [ Laughter ]"
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"You have to learn how to trot before you can gallop."
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"Who said that? [ Laughter ]"
Three's Company
"Now, for my special touch I’ll need some bread crumbs."
Three's Company
"I think I have some in my bed."
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"Never mind. I'll--I'll make my own."
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"They just sort of fall off the bread."
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"Uh, wine, I need some wine. Do you have a bottle?"
Three's Company
"No. Ooh, but I can make one up from the party leftovers."
Three's Company
"Good."
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"Oh, um, does it have to be all one color?"
Three's Company
"Um-hum."
Three's Company
"Could you get me a heaping tablespoon of milk?"
Three's Company
"Yeah."
Three's Company
"Heaping?"
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"Never mind, that's fine."
Three's Company
"[ Doorbell ]"
Three's Company
"Who is it?"
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"It's Mrs. Roper."
Three's Company
"Oh, come in."
Three's Company
"Hey, don't you lock your door?"
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"Whenever I think of it."
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"Oh, you shouldn't take any chances."
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"You know, there's been a lot of robberies"
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"In this neighborhood lately."
Three's Company
"Oh, yeah?"
Three's Company
"Yeah, look honey,"
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"About all that noise you were making last night."
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"Oh, yeah, um, Mrs. Roper, I am really sorry."
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"I was going to come down."
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"Yeah right through the ceiling we thought."
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"I didn't mind all the music,"
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"But, uh, ooh, all that foul language."
Three's Company
"There wasn't any foul language."
Three's Company
"You weren't down there with Mr. Roper."
Three's Company
"Well, we weren't the only ones making noise."
Three's Company
"He was beating on the ceiling with a broom handle."
Three's Company
"I know, now, just keep it down next time, okay?"
Three's Company
"Okay."
Three's Company
"You know what Mr. Roper's like."
Three's Company
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