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Clips from The Golden Girls - The Way We Met (S01E01)

"you seemed like a gift from heaven."
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"You wouldn't believe some of the people I interviewed."
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"Well, I think that about completes our tour, Madame Zelda."
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"Anything else I can tell you about the place?"
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"Yes. Was a young woman in a nurse's uniform"
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"murdered in this house with a handsaw?"
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"Heavens, no!"
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"I see a woman in a white uniform, writhing and screaming."
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"And there's a man kneeling over her."
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"If it was last Wednesday, that was me and the gentleman I'm currently dating,"
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"but that was a French maid's uniform."
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"(doorbell"
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"Mrs. Devereaux, you must leave this house at once."
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"It's possessed by an evil spirit."
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"Actually, it's possessed by Miami Federal."
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"And at seven percent, you couldn't blast me out of here."
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"- Yes? - Are you Blanche Devereaux?"
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"Yes, what can I do for you?"
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"Well, I'm Dorothy Zbornak. This is my mother Sophia Petrillo."
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"Remember we spoke on the phone about sharing the house?"
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"Yes. Come in, uh-huh."
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"Move in this house and you'll die an agonizing death."
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"Thank you, Madame Zelda. Goodbye."
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"Oh, ladies, I'm sorry about that."
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"You get so many weirdoes when you run an ad in the newspapers."
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"Please sit down."
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"Well, are you ladies considering taking both rooms?"
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"Oh, no. Just me."
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"Mother lives at the Shady Pines Retirement Home."
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"Oh, the Shady Pines. I know the Shady Pines: it's a lovely place."
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"It's a prison."
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"They lock us in our rooms and force us to look like we're having fun."
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"Then they take pictures for their brochure."
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"Ma, you know that's not true."
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"You'll have to excuse my mother - she recently had a stroke,"
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"and her perception is a little, you know, distorted."
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"- Oh, I understand. - No, you don't."
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"Why don't we start out with a tour of the house"
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"and later on we'll sit down and go over that application you filled out."
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"Wonderful. Oh, your house is just breathtaking."
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"I know."
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"You said it looked like a dump from the outside."
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"This is the lanai. It is wonderful in the summertime."
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"Especially if you like to sunbathe with your top off."
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"Oh, really, really? And the neighbors can't see in."
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"Oh, sure they can."
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"The woman has "slut" embroidered on her underwear."
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"Dear things, I'm afraid I'm running a little late."
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"- May I just ask you a few questions? - Well, of course. Go right ahead."
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"What do you call an inhabitant of Guam?"
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"I don't know."
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"A Guamanian, I guess. What does this have to do with renting the room?"
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"Oh, nothing. I just wanted to finish my crossword puzzle."
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"Now, then, Dorothy, would you say you are a very neat person?"
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"Oh, yes. Very, very neat."
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"Please. You're neat and I wear a D cup."
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"At that moment. I was convinced I'd blown it."
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"But then I met Rose. and I realized I could have shown up naked."
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"playing a ukulele and still gotten the room."
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"Oh, it's been such a lovely day."
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"Mr. Sunshine really gave us one of his biggest and brightest smiles."
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"Oh, I feel like putting my arms around Mother Nature and giving her a big kiss."
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"No, but we have a Mrs. Rogers at the Grief Center."
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"Oh, and there's a Mrs. Rogers lives across the street."
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"I didn't catch your name."
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"I'm Rose Nylund, your new roomie. Blanche has told me all about you."
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"Sorry your husband dumped you."
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"You can borrow my bubble bath anytime you want."
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"That'll help ease the lonely nights. Thank you very much."
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"I see you two are getting acquainted."
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"Yes, I'm just gonna take my stuff to my room."
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"It's the second on the left down the hall there?"
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"Dorothy, the second on the left is mine. Blanche had promised it to me."
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"Blanche promised it to me too. Didn't you, Blanche?"
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"Whoops."
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"Oh, great, great. What are we supposed to do now?"
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"Back in Minnesota, we'd settle this kind of a dispute"
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"with some good-natured logrolling."
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"Sorry, Rose. My log is in the shop."
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"What do we do now? Toss a coin?"
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"- OK. - All right."
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"- I'll take tails. - OK."
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"Tails, you win."
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"I'll make it up to you, Dorothy, I promise."
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"Listen, if there's ever a night where you can't sleep,"
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"I'll come to your room and sing "Kumbaya. ""
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"Rose, I don't know what to say."
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"Yes, I do."
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"Don't ever do that."
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"Well, Rose, what do you say we help Dorothy move her things, OK?"
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"OK."
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"Gee, this is fun already, being roomies with you two."
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"- Oh! - Oh, Blanche!"
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"Blanche, I am so sorry. Oh, I'll buy you another one."
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"Well, you can't. That was one of a kind."
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"Oh, well, don't feel bad. I never really liked it much anyway."
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"It's just that my grandmother gave this to me."
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"On her deathbed."
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"She was very, very sick for a very, very long time."
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"I loved her very, very much."
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"Blanche, why don't you just grind the broken pieces in her hand?"
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"Blanche, I know I can't replace it, but I wanna make it up to you."
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"I'd like to invite the two of you to dinner at my favorite restaurant."
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"- Well, that's very sweet of you, Rose. - Well, thank you, Rose."
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"Then we'd better hurry, 'cause the Strawberry Blizzard Special"
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"at the Dairy Queen only lasts till five."
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"- Come on, I'll drive. - Oh, let's not drive. Let's skip there."
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"Oh, my goodness, It's 2:00 in the morning."
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"- And I am still wide awake. - Me too."
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"You know, before I met you two girls, I was never up this late."
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"Except, of course, during the Jerry Lewis Telethon."
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"- Of course. - I was never a night person, either."
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"Until I blossomed into young womanhood"
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"Of course."
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"I will never forget the night I made that discovery."
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"It was during the spring cotillion."
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"I was wearing a long white dress and my first push-up bra."
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"And Bobby Buck McAIlister and I were enjoying a glass of punch"
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"out on the veranda, when a beam of moonlight hit my cleavage."
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"Suddenly, the band began to play."
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