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Clips from Girls5eva - Pilot (S01E01)

"- I work for my brother at a restaurant Yelp calls,"
Girls5eva
""A guilt-free place to have a bathroom blowout," so..."
Girls5eva
"- Sure, being a dentist is stable and everything,"
Girls5eva
"but it's no dream job."
Girls5eva
"I have a form of rosacea that's from other people's breath."
Girls5eva
"- [inhales] Oh, oh."
Girls5eva
"- Hey, didn't I hear you got married?"
Girls5eva
"- Yes."
Girls5eva
"Caroline and I were actually the first gay couple"
Girls5eva
"in the state of New York to get..."
Girls5eva
"divorced."
Girls5eva
"Love doesn't always win, guess what, but don't worry."
Girls5eva
"I've got a new roommate."
Girls5eva
"My rapidly aging father, so fuck me."
Girls5eva
"[phone buzzing]"
Girls5eva
"- Oh."
Girls5eva
"Larry, I delivered the checks."
Girls5eva
"[dramatic music] Oh, God."
Girls5eva
"Girls5eva booked a gig."
Girls5eva
"- "The Tonight Show.""
Girls5eva
"- [gasps] - Oh, come on."
Girls5eva
"- "The Tonight Show." Are you serious?"
Girls5eva
"- As serious as the heart attack"
Girls5eva
"that killed my first wife."
Girls5eva
"There was no foul play on that scuba excursion."
Girls5eva
"Anyway, Lil Stinker booked Fallon"
Girls5eva
"and Jimmy thinks it would be cool if you did live backup."
Girls5eva
"- [laughs] - Does Wickie know about this?"
Girls5eva
"- I left a message for her at her LA office,"
Girls5eva
"but I wouldn't count on her."
Girls5eva
"Have you seen her Instagram?"
Girls5eva
"She only follows Michelle Obama and Swarovski."
Girls5eva
"- But "Famous 5eva" is three-part harmony."
Girls5eva
"So we need at least four voices,"
Girls5eva
"because Summer doesn't count."
Girls5eva
"- Yeah, I always end up drifting to whatever the person"
Girls5eva
"next to me is singing, remember?"
Girls5eva
"That's why I have handicapped plates."
Girls5eva
"The only thing that I can do solo"
Girls5eva
"is end songs with a sultry femi-nasty phrase..."
Girls5eva
"But that's just Paris, baby."
Girls5eva
"See you never, boy."
Girls5eva
"What are we gonna do about Kosovo, y'all?"
Girls5eva
"- Hello? Ugh."
Girls5eva
"Streaming farm problems, fam."
Girls5eva
"Hello? No."
Girls5eva
"You got Larry. - Nope."
Girls5eva
"It's not that one. - Clear for Larry."
Girls5eva
"Oh, pocket."
Girls5eva
"That's why I wrote "pants" on my hand."
Girls5eva
"Hello. Go for Larry."
Girls5eva
"- This is Jonathan Barron, assistant to Wickie Roy."
Girls5eva
"- [giggles] - As fancy has it,"
Girls5eva
"Ms. Roy is heading east to Milan"
Girls5eva
"to launch a line of room-temp refrigerators"
Girls5eva
"called fabinets, very eco-chic."
Girls5eva
"I could tickle the sched"
Girls5eva
"so she can pop into New York for your little show."
Girls5eva
"- Oh! - Hot damn."
Girls5eva
"Now we just gotta find Gloria."
Girls5eva
"- I'm Gloria."
Girls5eva
"- I can't believe Wickie is in."
Girls5eva
"- I thought she was done with music."
Girls5eva
"And now she's like an icono mogulpreneur."
Girls5eva
"- I know! - Guys, guys."
Girls5eva
"- What? - I don't--"
Girls5eva
"I don't know if we should do this."
Girls5eva
"We're not little Ariana Grandes anymore."
Girls5eva
"- [scoffs] - I'm getting targeted ads"
Girls5eva
"for a cream that fights party streamer neck."
Girls5eva
"- I don't know if I can still do the excelsior."
Girls5eva
"No. - I haven't even performed"
Girls5eva
"since our follow-up album tanked."
Girls5eva
"- Why did it have to come out on September 10th?"
Girls5eva
"all: * Quit flying planes at my heart *"
Girls5eva
"* Quit flying planes at my heart *"
Girls5eva
"* Quit flying... *"
Girls5eva
"- You guys, you never forget how to perform."
Girls5eva
"It's like riding a bike into the river"
Girls5eva
"to get your husband to pay attention to you."
Girls5eva
"- I just feel weird making any decisions without Ashley."
Girls5eva
"- I'm Ashley."
Girls5eva
"And this is actually my seventh girl group"
Girls5eva
"after Daddy's Crush,"
Girls5eva
"Fades Baby, JO Sistas,"
Girls5eva
"and Twins!, Divacups,"
Girls5eva
"and Dale Froutsight."
Girls5eva
"They all failed,"
Girls5eva
"but I have an amazing feeling"
Girls5eva
"about the future."
Girls5eva
"[all cheering]"
Girls5eva
"[light music]"
Girls5eva
"[jackhammer clanging]"
Girls5eva
"- [sighs]"
Girls5eva
"- I suck."
Girls5eva
"I haven't even been here since the dedication."
Girls5eva
"- I know. - Me neither."
Girls5eva
"I remembered it being nicer. - I know."
Girls5eva
"- Didn't we plant a tree or something?"
Girls5eva
"- Yeah. [gasps]"
Girls5eva
"[jackhammer clanging]"
Girls5eva
"- Ugh. God."
Girls5eva
"Ashley deserves better than this."
Girls5eva
"- She does. - She was our big sister."
Girls5eva
"And she got us through all our breakups with Moby."
Girls5eva
"- Ash, give us a sign"
Girls5eva
"if we should do the show."
Girls5eva
"- My wife's in labor. I gotta run."
Girls5eva
"- But we can't do this with four."
Girls5eva
"- It's a five-man job, Ashton."
Girls5eva
"- Yes, you can."
Girls5eva
"It will be different, sure,"
Girls5eva
"but you can do it without me."
Girls5eva
"[triumphant music]"
Girls5eva
"- Oh, my God."
Girls5eva
"We're gonna do "The Tonight Show.""
Girls5eva
"- Wait. What was the sign?"
Girls5eva
"- A dress that I wore to my dad's wedding"
Girls5eva
"or a dress that I wore to your dad's wedding?"
Girls5eva
"- Mm, my dad's."
Girls5eva
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