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Clips from Shameless - Nana Gallagher Had an Affair (S01E01)

"Well, it's a Christian event designed to strengthen the bond"
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"between fathers and daughters."
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"We make a covenant."
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"Of purity. Like an oath? And then we exchange"
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"promise rings and, uh,"
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"Wow."
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"Do they have these, um, balls for young men?"
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"Why would they?"
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"Oh..."
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"Ready to smile?"
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"Aw. Oh, that's so nice!"
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"One more, one more."
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"It's so nice."
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"Oh, hell yeah."
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"Showed that Jasper a thing or two."
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"not to sue him."
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"I've got some money coming."
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"You know, when you die, I'm gonna go to your funeral"
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"and I'm gonna sing a song. It goes,"
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"Oh, boy."
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"Bet you wish you'd had that vasectomy by now, huh?"
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"Just thought you'd want to know Carl's all right."
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"They re-set his arm."
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"Let's just do what we came here to do."
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"If you're looking for money, I don't have any yet."
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"Your mom still hasn't signed my settlement papers."
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"She's been getting Liam's DNA results."
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"Congratulations, you're still the father."
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"Are you serious?"
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"Ooh. I thought that was always a rumor"
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"about Nana Gallagher having an affair"
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"with that sax player."
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"Promise you won't sign anything forfeiting parental rights."
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"Come on! You know what a bad mother Monica is."
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"I'm just letting her pretend that she can have him"
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"so I can get my settlement."
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"What if she doesn't give up that easy? No, no."
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"she'll be back."
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"Crying about her low self-esteem,"
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"or how boys actually need their fathers,"
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"or penis grief."
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"That's when you wake up in the middle of the night"
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"and you look at the person next to you, and you say,"
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""Somebody help me! I just fucked a lady.""
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"Oh, come on. Will you please give me some time with this?"
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"- What? - If I don't walk away, I'm going to fucking hit him."
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"What the hell?"
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"Fuck!"
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"I'm done. I'm gone."
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"Bullshit. You'll never leave those monkeys,"
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"Before we begin, let me just say how proud we are"
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"of your desire to re-purify."
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"although still single, are enjoying"
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"very spirit-filled lives."
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"Patty?"
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"Last year when I was singing madrigal,"
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"I started dating a boy in the choir."
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"He said we were dating, but we never met outside of"
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"our make-out sessions in the rehearsal hall."
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"I repeatedly let him touch me"
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"on my breasts, through my shirt and bra."
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"And once, I felt his..."
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"his rod touch my leg."
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"This is so embarrassing. I can't believe I let him do this."
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"- I'm so sorry. - Thank you, Patty."
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"I want to thank you for your courage to confront"
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"your struggles with desire."
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"Who's next?"
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"Elaine?"
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"Hi."
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"and I only touched one..."
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"Once."
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"If I didn't, I was going to get hit with a pipe."
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"God, why did you let my daughter become a slave"
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"to the flesh?"
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"I was going to get hit with a pipe!"
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"So the lawyer said"
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"there's nothing you can do?"
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"If we sue, it could backfire. Make things worse."
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"Jesus. This place still smells like old man Harris."
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"What did Monica want?"
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"Some kind of a family meeting."
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"You told her we know Liam is Frank's?"
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"Yeah."
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"You have any pot?"
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"I think if I have to go see Mom conscious,"
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"- I might actually commit a violent felony. - That's the first time"
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"in a long time I've heard you call her Mom."
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"I don't know"
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"Ian and I got our DNA tests done."
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"I don't know, got excited"
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"if none of us are his, then"
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"you'd have a much easier time becoming"
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"our legal guardians."
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"Well..."
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"My actions have been unladylike"
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"and base in nature, and for that I am"
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"Karen."
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"In order for you to receive the full gift of purity,"
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"It's okay, sweetheart."
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"Just tell what happened."
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"Um, well, okay."
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"maybe 13."
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"It was guys around the neighborhood..."
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"three or four at first"
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"and then, well, more than three"
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"or four."
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"until the eighth grade."
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"really good,"
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"but I didn't feel good about it."
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"a few times where I got high"
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"and started experimenting with guys and girls"
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"at the same time."
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"I wouldn't necessarily call it an orgy,"
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"but there were a lot of naked body parts flying around,"
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"which felt very good but kind of bad"
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"all at the same time."
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"And then there was the time at Mindy Carlson's sleepover"
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"when we all got in the shower"
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"and started soaping each other up,"
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