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Clips from Shameless - Nana Gallagher Had an Affair (S01E01)

"And your father,"
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"Frank Gallagher..."
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"Wow. He's a live one."
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"Yeah."
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"Uh, do you make federal poverty level wages for a family of six?"
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"30 grand a year or so."
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"So you don't earn enough money to support them,"
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"and we'd have to prove your parents incompetent?"
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"Listen, I know it bites the big one,"
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"but the best case scenario"
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"is the county places your brothers and sisters"
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"in foster care while you and your father fight over custody."
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"- Mrs. Gallagher? - Yeah."
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"He's Frank's."
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"What?!"
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"How the fuck is this possible?"
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"I don't know."
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"when I did E with that bouncer at the Zebra Lounge."
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"I-I woke up naked."
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"The law's still on our side."
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"What?"
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"You're the mother."
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"Yeah. Mm-hmm."
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"So, we find Frank today,"
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"tell him we'll sign his settlement papers"
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"in exchange for him signing over his parental rights."
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"After that, there ain't"
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"a damn thing Fiona can do about it."
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"Come on, Monica."
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"He's not ruining my fucking family."
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"I swear to God, he's not going to take my son away from me."
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"Fuck this shit!"
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"They look unhappy."
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"Yeah."
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"Two women who just left"
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"must not have not been happy with the news they got, huh?"
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"Oh, yeah. Happens."
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"hang himself from a pipe in the men's room."
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"I think maybe you can."
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"♪ ♪"
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"How long you gonna keep this up, Jasper?"
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"Well, as long as it takes this time."
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"They know you're faking."
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"Monica!"
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"I talked to Fiona!"
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"Everything's good!"
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"Monica!"
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"♪ ♪"
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"Where's Fiona?"
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"Doesn't live here anymore."
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"Monica?"
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"Nope."
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"I think I broke my arm."
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"It hurts a lot."
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"Yeah."
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"You sure you're ready for this?"
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"Hell, yeah. I mean,"
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"Yeah."
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"All right, it says here"
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"all we have to do is..."
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"Yeah, and pay them 150 bucks each."
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"On the off chance we're not related to Frank,"
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"it's totally worth it."
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"It's actually"
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"we can figure out about ourselves in there."
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"Yeah, like, uh, if we got the alcoholic gene from Frank."
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"Yeah, or the dummy gene from Monica."
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"Or if any of us is gonna turn out to be gay."
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"Nice."
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"Carl!"
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"Carl. Oh..."
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"I think"
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"you broke his arm."
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"Oh, shit!"
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"Can I go to the hospital now?"
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"Just give me a couple of more yells first."
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"Oh, my boy!"
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"That roast smells amazing."
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"Don't get any ideas, it's not for you."
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"Frank's not coming back. He's with his wife now."
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"I know how disappointed you get"
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"when nobody's here to eat your wonderful meals."
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"Where is my dress?"
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"Come on, sweet girl."
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"Perfect."
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"You look beautiful."
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"My goodness."
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"You... you look stunning."
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"I am so proud of you."
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"All right, Eddie."
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"Why don't you just join us for dinner"
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"You're sure?"
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"I'll just... save a plate for Frank."
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"Thanks for putting money in my commissary account."
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"I was running low on smokes."
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"I told him you might still press charges."
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"Thanks."
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"How long?"
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"I don't know. Supposed to be a year, right?"
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"Maybe only a couple months if I don't do anything stupid."
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"Like what?"
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"Like stab that fat"
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"fuckin' mick who keeps trying to steal my Jell-O!"
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"Who? Me? Yeah!"
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"You say that again, I'll rip your tongue out of your head."
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"Take your hand off the glass. Oh."
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"♪ The ground, shaking as she weeps... ♪"
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"Good evening, Officer. Is everything okay?"
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"Oh. Hey. Tony, how you doing?"
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"So... did I do something wrong?"
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"Taillight out?"
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"no, uh, congratulations on the new house."
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"Yeah."
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"Yeah, yeah, nice little fixer-upper in the neighborhood."
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"Fiona's a good girl. The best."
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"Known her since we were in Head Start. Long time, you know?"
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"Just... drive carefully."
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"Mm, this is good."
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"So, I'm just curious about what happens"
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"at the Purity Ball tonight."
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