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Clips from Gilmore Girls - Paris Is Burning (S01E01)

"- You wanna go back to thumb wrestling? - Osteoporosis. "P""
Gilmore Girls
"'Her lineage includes cocker spaniel, golden retriever, Bouvier des Flandres... '"
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"You abandoned your hamster?"
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"This was like a Damien hamster with little beady eyes, and a big forked tail..."
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"- Okay, correct me if I'm wrong. - Salt, please."
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"Yes, you're right."
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"So I don't even go there. I could do, 'As Michael Crichton would say... '"
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"Okay, I will."
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"my required reading?"
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"- Do you think he's dating anyone? - Of course he is."
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"Mom."
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"You're really being silly. There is no evil plan afoot here."
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"I love you."
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"- Why did the doorbell ring? - Because someone's at the door."
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"What do I do? I'm not supposed to be here."
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"I am fine with this whole you and my mom thing."
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"How about this, then? We'll come up with non-Chilton names for each other."
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"Norman? Have her home by 10:00."
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"Yes, great. I know."
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"But all I'm asking you is to try stuffing something different this time."
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"I didn't mean anything by it."
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"- No. - You can."
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"Okay, good. I will."
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"It's just... I'm so swamped right now."
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"I know. I'm not sure I'm gonna be able to make it."
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"- Fine. - Really."
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"You have not been using that cleanser."
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"- Not happening. - Yeah."
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"I've misplaced my copy."
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"That does it. Parents, thank you for coming."
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"and those of you who are just starting tonight..."
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"- I left four messages. - I know. I've been meaning to call."
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"Things. Sorry."
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"Your solution to all of this is not to return my calls?"
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"Your mom, Mr. Medina, mouths open. I saw them."
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"Could you figure it out before French class?"
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"How, Mom?"
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"A mistake is when you forget to RSVP to a dinner party."
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"This is not the time for your jokes."
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"When it affects my granddaughter it is my business."
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"He's smart. He's sweet."
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"He cooks."
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"That's the problem with you, Lorelai. You don't think."
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"That this was the man for you?"
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"I told you he wouldn't date a teacher."
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"He holds up your papers and tells the class how great you are."
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"- It worked. - Yeah."
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"I'm not holding my breath."
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"I'm not even gonna charge you for these."
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"And then I realized that he was right."
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"- But he didn't. - Not yet."
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"I'm the one who knocked it up to NC-17."
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"It's not your fault."
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"No, you're absolutely right."
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"- "L" - Laryngitis."
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"- "M" - Mumps."
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"- "N" - Narcolepsy. "O""
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"Do we have to do this every time we decide who has to clean the refrigerator?"
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"- Puppies! - That's not a disease."
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"Hi!"
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"- Rory, look at the baby. - Mom."
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"'Buttercup was found cold and wet, hovering under a hydrangea bush..."
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"'along Highway 26.' It's a sad highway!"
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"As compared to all the happy highways she could've been abandoned by?"
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"- Gesundheit. - Thank you. 'And rottweiler. '"
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"'Buttercup is a special dog. She is extremely skittish..."
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"'and tends to react badly toward blond-haired females, brunette males..."
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"'children of either sex, other animals, red clothing, cabbage, or anyone in uniform. '"
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"- We just found the doggy version of you. - Can I help you?"
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"Do not let these two anywhere near a dog. They can barely feed themselves."
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"Shut up. We would be excellent pet owners, thank you."
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"- You cannot be serious. - We could get him a pretty bowl."
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"- It's a her. - And a new name."
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"- Mom. - This Buttercup thing really has to go."
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"- Do I need to remind you of Skippy? - Skippy?"
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"- I can't believe you would bring that up. - Skippy was our hamster."
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"- He doesn't care. - What happened to him?"
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"Nothing."
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"Every time Mom put her hand in his cage, he'd bite her."
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"- And laugh. - Hamsters can't laugh."
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"This one laughed. Trust me."
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"- So, finally, she got fed up. - Of being laughed at by a hamster?"
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"Yeah."
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"She stopped cleaning its cage. Instead, every day she'd stuff Kleenex in there."
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"- You didn't. - It was the quilted kind."
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"This goes on, and the cage is just a cage full of Kleenex that moves a little."
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"- And the smell, really good. - I can imagine."
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"No, you can't."
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"Then she takes the cage to the place where we bought him..."
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"waits for the sales guy to go behind the desk, dumps it on the counter, then bolts."
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"I know it was bad, but this was a vicious hamster."
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"and a cape with a hood and..."
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"- Bye, Buttercup. Bye, Luke. - You did the right thing."
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"- I want a pet. - You have me."
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"- You won't get my slippers in the morning. - I might if you had slippers."
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"- Will you wear a collar? - No."
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"- It'll be pink. - You're sick."
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"Watch how you talk to me. Remember what happened to Skippy."
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"God, this is good."
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"Twenty minutes ago, we were sitting at the dinner table, weren't we?"
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"Yes, we were."
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"There were candles and flowers and plates and knives and cloth napkins."
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"I loved the little sombrero napkin holders. Very ole."
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"And the whole time we were at said dinner table..."
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"you ate two, maybe three bites of this amazing dinner I made for you."
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"Pass the bread."
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"Yet, as soon as that dinner is over and I start cleaning up..."
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"suddenly, that's when you're starving."
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"What can I say? Watching someone work makes me hungry."
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"If I hadn't stopped watching This Old House, I'd be 500 pounds now."
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"What are you doing?"
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"- Passing these to you. - In the dish, please."
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"Where did you learn to make osso buco, anyway?"
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"From this very old Italian woman who used to live upstairs."
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"She had lost her husband a couple of years before, and she looked at me like a son."
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"- Sweet. - She was."
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"- So an old girlfriend? - Yeah."
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"- So, would you like some coffee? - Yes, please."
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"- Did you read Rory's paper yet? - Not yet."
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"- It's really good. - I'm sure it is."
Gilmore Girls
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