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Clips from Gilmore Girls - Dead Uncles and Vegetables (S02E02)

"Despot."
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"It took me 20 minutes to get past this place's busy signal..."
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"- then they put me on hold forever. - Who's keeping you on hold?"
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"That mortuary in Florida where my uncle's at."
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"I thought he was in the area."
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"No. My dad wanted my uncle buried here right next to him."
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"That's nice."
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"They were close, and Louie didn't have a family to look out for things."
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"Good Louie."
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"He wanted me to make sure he got a proper funeral."
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"- Respectful, dignified. - No horseshoe carnation wreaths."
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"And since Louie's a war veteran..."
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"the town Revolutionary War re-enactors will attend the service..."
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"do the salute thing."
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"It makes me nauseous, but my dad wanted it."
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"Yeah. Hi. I'm still here."
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"Yes, the deceased is Louie Danes. Right."
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"No, Hartford's not too far. I can do that. Thanks."
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"I should probably go pick out a coffin before he gets here."
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"Great. Go."
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"- I have to close up. - No. You're covered."
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"- You don't have to do this. - We don't mind. Go."
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"- Gives me a chance to number the tables. - Be my guest."
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"- Don't change anything. - It's totally not Feng Shui."
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"- Gertie. - Go."
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"Excuse me, Taylor, where are your Brussels sprouts?"
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"My supplier was out of them this week, Mrs. Cassini. Maybe next week."
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"Okay. I'll just try across the street."
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"- Thank you. - You're welcome."
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"What is that?"
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"It's a farmer's market. Isn't it wonderful?"
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"It just opened this morning, and I see sprouts."
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"Who's the proprietor here?"
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"That would be me. What can I do for you?"
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"You're that long-haired freak that wanted to be town troubadour..."
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"even though that weird brown-corduroyed- jacket-wearing freak was already it."
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"- Let go of me. - Don't like to be touched. That's cool."
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"Got a David and Lisa thing happening. Made a mental note. No problem."
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"Can I help you?"
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"I want to know what inspired you to open a produce stand..."
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"right across the street from my market?"
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"It's real nice. Homey. Bought a box of tissues there."
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"Good stuff."
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"Your parsley, is it priced per bunch or per pound?"
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"- Per pound, beautiful. - Good deal."
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"- Patty. - Hi, Taylor. How are you?"
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"You mean not counting the knife sticking in my back?"
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"Sure, honey, whatever."
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"There must be some mistake. This just isn't right."
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"It's approved by the proper authorities. I followed the rules."
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"It's what Dad taught me. Cop for 20 years, got shot in the butt. Good man."
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"Tips over sometimes when he sits, but good man."
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"- Beautiful sprouts. - For a beautiful lady."
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"- I feel sick. - That'll be $4."
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"Lorelai, good. Tell me about the nine rooms set aside here..."
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"there's no name anywhere that I can see, and no credit card to hold them. Mistake?"
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"- No, it's for Luke. - For whom?"
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"- French Fry convention? - No, just personal."
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"- Milkshake symposium? - No, it's personal. I'm vouching for him."
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"- Soda pop seminar? - Stop."
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"- Pickle party? - He's got nine rooms. Now stifle."
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"- Mom, hi there. - Lorelai, hello."
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"I'm sorry. Did we get our signals crossed? I don't have an appointment with you."
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"We have to make appointments to see each other?"
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"- No. But... good one. - I'm not here to see you."
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"- This isn't about the DAR meeting? - No, that's ready to go."
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"- I'm here to meet with Sookie. - Sookie?"
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"I'm a little late. Traffic was awful. Excuse me, would you?"
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"- Gorgeous. What are they for? - My wedding."
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"- Your wedding? - Emily, hi!"
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"- Is this everything I said it was? - And more."
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"What do you mean they're for your wedding?"
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"They did Celine Dion's wedding and Steven Spielberg's daughter's..."
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"- Jack Russell Terrier's 'bark' mitzvah. - You're putting me on."
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"I couldn't make that up."
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"Excuse me. This one's slightly asymmetrical. Fix, please."
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"What is with the fancy place settings? I thought you were gonna keep it simple."
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"It is simple."
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"- It lights up. - Just flip a switch. Simple."
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"- How did my mother get so involved? - She's not that involved."
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"She just mentioned the other day that she knew some people..."
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"that could make samples of stuff for us, like table settings, flower arrangements."
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"- We were gonna do the flowers ourselves. - But what a hassle that would be."
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"It's to save money. Flowers cost a lot."
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"But the sampling of what they're doing today is free."
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"- I'm not committed to any of this. - I hope not."
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"It's true. I say no, it all goes away."
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"- Not a penny is spent. - Okay."
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"- And it's fun. - I don't want to take away your fun."
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"I just want you to be careful. You've entered 'Emily-land. '"
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"It's an upside-down world where the Horchow house is low-rent..."
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"and diamonds less than 24 carats are Cracker Jack trinkets..."
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"and Bentleys are for losers who can't afford a Rolls."
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"- But I'm okay. Really. - All right."
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"I have to help Luke with the lunch rush, so I gotta go."
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"- Go. We're fine. - Okay. Bye, Mom."
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"Is that a fingerprint? My god! That's a fingerprint! Who touched this?"
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"Let me see your hands."
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"Turnips, butternut..."
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"- Turnips. - What?"
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"- What about turnips? - Why did you say 'turnips?'"
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"- I think you did. - No, but I've got turnips. Good ones, too."
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"They're not as big as that crinite freak's, but who needs bloated turnips?"
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"Mine are unassuming. I have nice, humble turnips."
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"Okey-dokey."
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"Taylor's wigging."
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"He's been sitting there like the final days of Dick Nixon for an hour."
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"Keep an eye on him."
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"- Hello, there. How's it going? - Very good, young lady."
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"- Yeah. - Wouldn't you rather have scrambled?"
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"- Nope, up's how I like them. - Scrambled's better. Give it a shot."
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"Say you want two scrambled eggs on toast, please."
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"Okay, young lady. Two scrambled eggs on toast."
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"Adam and Eve on a raft and wreck 'em. That's real live diner talk."
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"- The 'wreck 'em' is the scrambled part. - I deduced that."
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"- I don't believe it. - What's the matter?"
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"That's Babette with an armload of rutabaga."
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"And there's Miss Patty again. Since when does she eat so much fruit?"
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"- Hi, Kirk. - Hello."
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"so Rory and I are helping out. What can I get you?"
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