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Clips from Three's Company - Jack Looks for a Job (S02E02)

"Is that right?"
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"Knowledge is the key that opens a door to a child,"
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"and we have a carefully provided program."
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"Oh, I am so lonely. Come on, Janet. A program for a basis..."
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"of a sound... for a s... a..."
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"Would you stop blowing in my ear? Why should I stop?"
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"I thought your manual handled every situation? Well, now, wait a minute."
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"Let me check. Uh... Oh, yeah. Here it is. Ear blowing."
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"Uh... ooh! Jack! [ Screeches, Laughs ]"
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"Hey, what are you doing?"
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"I'm selling her a set of encyclopedias."
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"That's what I thought you were doing. Are you okay?"
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"Uh-huh. Good."
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"[ Doorbell Rings ] Jack! Get off! Get off!"
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"I need to practice on somebody. Well, practice on me."
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"It looks like fun. Oh, I'd love to,"
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"but I need a real customer."
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"You wouldn't happen to know the capital of Ecuador, would you?"
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"- What? - Listen. There's an easy way to find that out."
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"Let's see. Ecuador begins with "E." Oh. Yeah."
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"I used to be very good at geography. I knew all the capitals of the world..."
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"till these new countries started popping up every day."
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"There it is. Ecuador."
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"The capital is Quito."
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"Quito? Quito. That's a very useful book."
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"You know, I wouldn't mind having one of those. It came in handy, didn't it?"
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"Yeah. Thanks. Now, where was I?"
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"You were saying you needed a real customer."
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"Yeah, if I... Roper!"
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"He's half-sold already. He can be my first customer."
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"Ladies, tonight we eat in style."
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"Here it is, Helen. Two weeks in Hawaii as soon as I mail it."
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"You're wasting your spit, Stanley."
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"You'll never win."
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"Talk to Mrs. Roper. Uh..."
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"I'm conducting an educational survey."
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"Well, in that case, you'd better come in."
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"Ah, what a lovely three-piece living room set you have."
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"It's two pieces, and it's horrible."
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"Yes, now, madam... Mrs. Roper... have you ever wished..."
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"you were better informed about, for instance,"
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"epidemiology?"
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"Oh, I get it. You're selling encyclopedias. No."
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"Uh, that is, yes, but I'm not supposed to"
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"say so. I'm supposed to talk about things..."
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"a fascinating creature."
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"And it's not generally known, but it only mates once a year."
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"I know how it feels."
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"- I just made the 4:00 mail. - That's nice, Jumbo."
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"- Jumbo? - Jack is selling encyclopedias."
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"Well, look at this beautiful book. I mean,"
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"it's a world of information at your fingertips, such as... right here..."
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"This is the anatomy of the human male, in full color."
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"Oh, that's very interesting."
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"Oh, yeah. Course, Stanley doesn't have one of those anymore."
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"An appendix."
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"And then here's the female anatomy in full color."
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"Ooh! Oh!"
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"Flora and fauna of the North American continent."
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"Yeah."
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"How much did you say this costs?"
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"You know, if he sells one set of these, he gets $50 commission?"
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"We can really eat."
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"I think I'll make myself another cup of tea while I figure that out."
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"[ Doorbell Rings ]"
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"How do you do? I'm Mr. Morris. Hello."
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"- Morris Morris? - Hello, hello."
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"I'm here to see Mr. Tripper. You wouldn't happen to be his wife, would you?"
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"No. But he'll be back in a little while. Why don't you come on in, sit down?"
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"Oh, thank you. Ah! There they are."
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"What handsome encyclopedias! Yes."
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"Oh, is that what you've come about? Exactly."
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"Could you excuse me for one minute? Oh, certainly."
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"Thank you."
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"Janet, there's a man out there who's asking about encyclopedias."
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"You mean a customer? Yes."
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"Ooh. Okay. Let's keep him here till Jack gets back. Yeah."
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"Hello. Oh, hello!"
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"Mrs. Tripper? No."
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"Ohh, uh, uh, uh..."
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"Well."
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"Won't you sit down? Thank you."
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"Aren't these beautiful books? Oh, yes. Hand-tooled leatherette..."
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"with genuine imitation gold leaf."
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"And just so full of information. Yeah."
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"So, you'd like to buy a set? Uh, no."
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"No? No. We thought you would."
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"Oh, my goodness, no. I'm here to sell them."
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"To go around with Mr. Tripper, show him the"
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"ropes. Some of the forms are very complicated."
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"Oh, you must be Morris Morris. Yes."
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"What a great guess, Janet. How'd you do that? What?"
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"Where is Mr. Tripper? Jack? He's downstairs right now selling a set of encyclopedias."
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"Oh, no! All by himself? Mm-hmm."
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"Why, he's untrained! He can't do that alone!"
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"Mr. Roper, if you'll just sign here. Here?"
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"Yeah. No! There!"
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"Here? No. I'm sorry. I have to sign there as a witness."
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"Here? Yes."
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"No! No! Yes. I'm sorry. On the, uh, bottom."
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"[ Doorbell Rings ] And that's about it."
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"Oh, good afternoon, madam. I wonder if I might have a word with Mr. Tripper?"
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"Oh, sure, sure. Come on in."
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"My, what a lovely three-piece living room set!"
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"Mr. Morris, I've just made my first sale."
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"Fantastic! [ Both ] Great."
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"Is this your signature, Mr. Tripper? Yes, sir."
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"Congratulations! Thank you."
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"You've just bought yourself a set of encyclopedias."
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"And you, sir, qualify for the $50 commission. Oh, my God."
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"No, no. Wait. There's some mistake. A contract is a contract."
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"No, but I made the sale. Mr. Roper, would you just cross out your name..."
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"No, no, no, no. I'd lose my 50 bucks. Oh, uh..."
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"and put his name there and then my name up here... You ripped the contract!"
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"No. It tore by itself. Oh, my God. I can't stop myself! Oh!"
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"Hi. [ Both ] Hi."
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"- Oh, where's your encyclopedia case? - I turned it in."
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"Another day of Morris Morris, and I would've gone mad, mad."
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"Hey, listen. I got a job as a part-time waiter at the Pizza Paradise."
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"All right. You know, I think you should've stuck to modeling, I really do."
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