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Clips from Three's Company - Jack Looks for a Job (S02E02)

"Forget it. I'll go macho. No."
Three's Company
"Don't be silly. It is not dangerous. I'll prove it."
Three's Company
"Could you go get some lather, Janet? Sure."
Three's Company
"Let's see. There was a balloon around here somewhere."
Three's Company
"Let's see. Ah! It's left over from the party."
Three's Company
"Okay. You're not going to bribe me with a balloon."
Three's Company
"It is not for you. That's the way they train barbers."
Three's Company
"- They start 'em out shaving on balloons. - But it doesn't need a shave."
Three's Company
"If I can shave that, I can shave you. Hold still, please."
Three's Company
"Well, this isn't... this isn't the same thing as my face, you know."
Three's Company
"It hasn't got interesting cheekbones or a firm, yet sensitive chin."
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"Neither do you. Will you hold still? And just watch and see..."
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"what a delicate little touch I have, okay? Yeah."
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"Hey. Huh. See?"
Three's Company
"[ Both Screaming ]"
Three's Company
"Where is Freddie? We've got a lot of work to do. I don't know."
Three's Company
"Oh, well, let's get some shots of you while we're waiting. Okay."
Three's Company
"Oh, what'll we be doing today? It's a new series..."
Three's Company
"called "Bedroom Playground.""
Three's Company
"[ Sighs ] And a centerfold. Oh, good!"
Three's Company
"I haven't done a centerfold for ages."
Three's Company
"It's not for you, darling. It's for Freddie, if he ever gets here."
Three's Company
"How come the guys are getting all the centerfolds?"
Three's Company
"Equal rights."
Three's Company
"Would you like me to wear my black fishnets and my lace garter belt?"
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"Not for this layout. Just wear your dimples. Can't I wear the garter belt?"
Three's Company
"I have a head cold. Then wear a wig."
Three's Company
"- Hi. - Yes?"
Three's Company
"I have no experience, and I know you're talking to a lot of people."
Three's Company
"And I know you'd like to see some references to make sure I'm qualified,"
Three's Company
"but I'll work very hard and be very cooperative,"
Three's Company
"so feel free to ask me anything you'd like."
Three's Company
"What's your name? Jack Tripper."
Three's Company
"You got the job. No."
Three's Company
"You're in pretty good shape, are you? Oh, yeah."
Three's Company
"Forty-two chest. Thirty-one waist."
Three's Company
"What about the rest of you? Fantastic."
Three's Company
"Take off your clothes."
Three's Company
"Uh, are we modeling bathing suits?"
Three's Company
"No. Birthday suits."
Three's Company
"I..."
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"What's wrong? I just thought I was supposed to model clothes."
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"Do you want the job or don't you?"
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"Yeah, but I don't wanna pose naked."
Three's Company
"Not naked."
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"Nude."
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"What's the difference? Oh, there's all the difference in the world."
Three's Company
"Naked is dirty."
Three's Company
"Nude is art, and that's what my pictures are... art."
Three's Company
"Uh, can I ask you something? Um, what are these pictures for?"
Three's Company
"Living Love."
Three's Company
"Uh, excuse me."
Three's Company
"What's Living Love?"
Three's Company
"You've heard of Playboy? Yeah. Sure."
Three's Company
"Good. Now you've heard of Living Love. Will you get undressed?"
Three's Company
"Uh, I don't think I wanna do this."
Three's Company
"- Ashamed of your body. - Of course not. It's just that I have certain principles,"
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"and there's some things I will not do, and one of them is..."
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"Did you come here to debate or to make 10 bucks an hour? Where do I get undressed?"
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"Right in there."
Three's Company
"[ Woman Screeches ]"
Three's Company
"I didn't know this... cubicle was taken. Otherwise, I wouldn't have come..."
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"barging... in like this."
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"Uh, I'm really sorry. I would've knocked. I hope I haven't, uh..."
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"No. This one seems, uh, to be taken."
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"Then why don't you use the empty one? Huh? Oh, right."
Three's Company
"Well, see ya. You just did."
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"That was Sally. Uh, Sally, this is Jack."
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"I'm using him instead of Freddie. [ Sally ] Hi, Jack!"
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"[ Jack ] Hi, Sally. You're cute."
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"- [ Jack ] Well, you're cute too. - I'll be with you kids in a minute."
Three's Company
"Oh, uh, well, listen. Sally? Yeah?"
Three's Company
"Why don't you go ahead of me? I can wait. I got plenty of time."
Three's Company
"[ Sally Laughs ] We're posing together, silly!"
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"You did not tell me I would be posing with a girl. Oh, what's wrong with that?"
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"We'll both be naked. Nude."
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"Nude. What about my family, my friends?"
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"No. I only want you and the girl."
Three's Company
"What? What if my family, my friends see me in a magazine?"
Three's Company
"Oh, don't worry about that. You see, the way I use light and shadow,"
Three's Company
"nobody'll see your face."
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"I'll show you what I mean. Here's a shot I took yesterday. [ Gasps ]"
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"You've got one... You've got four people there."
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"Five."
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"Hi. Hi. How'd your modeling job go?"
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"Terrific. I'm selling encyclopedias."
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"- What happened? - They wanted me to pose naked."
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"Uh, nude. They asked me to take all my clothes off. Can you imagine that?"
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"Poor baby. They took one look and turned you down."
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"No. I never gave them the chance. I walked out on 'em."
Three's Company
"- Why? - Why? How would you like to open up one of those..."
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"kinky sex magazines and see me lying there?"
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"I don't know. I think you'd look pretty cute with a staple through your navel."
Three's Company
"I can make more money selling encyclopedias."
Three's Company
"Why'd you take that job? I thought you said you couldn't handle the rejection."
Three's Company
"There won't be any rejections, not with this sales manual Morris Morris gave me."
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"- Morris Morris? - Yeah, that's the sale manager's name."
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"- It's Mr. Morris Morris. - Sounds like he ought to be selling ditto machines."
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"Yeah. But he's a real nice guy, and the first week,"
Three's Company
"he's gonna go around with me and break me in."
Three's Company
"Janet, listen to this. And for every $300 set of encyclopedias,"
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"I get a $50 commission."
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"What? Oh, yeah, right... if you sell 'em. What do you mean, if?"
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"All I have to do is follow this sales manual word for word, and I can't miss."
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"Look. I'll show you. All right. Hey. You be a potential customer."
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"Okay? Come here. And here... this is the front door."
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"All right? All right. Okay."
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"All right. Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock."
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"What are you doing? I'm peeping through the peek hole."
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"This is a very rough neighborhood. Don't mix me up, okay?"
Three's Company
"All right. No. I'm inside now. Oh, sorry."
Three's Company
"Ah, madam, what a love... Hold on."
Three's Company
"Ah, madam, what a lovely three-piece living room set you have."
Three's Company
"Oh, thank... What? Well, that's what it says here."
Three's Company
"See? It tells you what to say step-by-step in every situation."
Three's Company
"Oh, really? Well, sit down. Thank you, madam."
Three's Company
"Now... Excuse me. Mm-hmm."
Three's Company
"Thank you, madam. Now, you may know, as we do,"
Three's Company
"that knowledge is the key that opens the door... [ Gasping ]"
Three's Company
"What are you doing? My husband has been away at sea for 17 months."
Three's Company
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