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Clips from King of the Hill - The Order of the Straight Arrow (S01E01)

"Wematanye, protect us on our hunt."
King of the Hill
"All right. This here's your whoop-ass stick..."
King of the Hill
"to beat the snipe back in case he comes at you."
King of the Hill
"What does a snipe look like?"
King of the Hill
"and a tail with another claw on the end."
King of the Hill
"Easy, Dale. Bill and I'll take the lead."
King of the Hill
"Boomhauer and Dale will bring up the rear."
King of the Hill
"Remember, the snipe call is this:"
King of the Hill
""Woo-Ioo-Ioo, woo-Ioo-Ioo.""
King of the Hill
"HANK: Well, call him out, boys. He's not just gonna show up."
King of the Hill
"BOYS: Woo-Ioo-Ioo..."
King of the Hill
"Boy, this takes me back."
King of the Hill
"BOBBY: I got one!"
King of the Hill
"What the... What are you talking about?"
King of the Hill
"Well, four now."
King of the Hill
"No, me and Boomhauer came on our own trip..."
King of the Hill
"You and I may be acquainted, but we are not traveling companions."
King of the Hill
"Dale, I'm gonna need you to give me the keys now."
King of the Hill
"I can't believe it."
King of the Hill
"It wasn't your fault, Bobby. You thought it was a snipe. We all did."
King of the Hill
"so I could live to get my Straight Arrow badge."
King of the Hill
"Bobby, don't you get it? Your dad made all that up."
King of the Hill
"There's no such thing as a snipe."
King of the Hill
"No! My dad is the Arrow leader."
King of the Hill
"He speaks only with honor."
King of the Hill
"We'll ditch the carcass by the interstate in the morning."
King of the Hill
"Now, let's just go to sleep."
King of the Hill
"Yes. We'll all just go to sleep now."
King of the Hill
"Bill, get his pants and shoes."
King of the Hill
"Okle-doke."
King of the Hill
"[Beeping getting faster]"
King of the Hill
"And we're looking for a missing whooping crane."
King of the Hill
"And I've tracked it to within 10 yards of your campsite."
King of the Hill
"You haven't seen it, have you?"
King of the Hill
"A whooping crane in these parts?"
King of the Hill
"I think I would've noticed something like that."
King of the Hill
"- They're pretty rare, aren't they? - Yes, very rare and beautiful."
King of the Hill
"Sir, do you know anything about this?"
King of the Hill
"with them sticks and a bag."
King of the Hill
"And a then whack, whack. We'd go "woo-Ioo-Ioo.""
King of the Hill
"Talking about that big mistake, y'all."
King of the Hill
"Right there in that cooler."
King of the Hill
"How about you boys?"
King of the Hill
"Well, yeah. We saw..."
King of the Hill
"They can't talk for 24 hours. Order of the Straight Arrow, you know?"
King of the Hill
"Got you. I was in the Order myself."
King of the Hill
"We gotta get rid of this bird."
King of the Hill
"BOBBY: Wematanye."
King of the Hill
"[Chanting]"
King of the Hill
"HANK: Cripes! Put that thing down!"
King of the Hill
"Stop fooling around! We've got to bury that thing fast!"
King of the Hill
"We can't just bury it, Dad, remember?"
King of the Hill
"And we will do just that in the dumpster behind Stuckey's."
King of the Hill
"- Brock. - Rasha."
King of the Hill
"Or "shoes," as you say in your country."
King of the Hill
"Senora, I have an Italian mock-alligator you are going to love."
King of the Hill
"PEGGY: You are a genius. Now this is why I come to Lubbock's Very Big Shoes."
King of the Hill
"I saw him waving it over his head, really proud."
King of the Hill
"I also heard that they were hunting snipe last night."
King of the Hill
"My God. How many more species have to be wiped out before we learn?"
King of the Hill
"What's that flapping sound?"
King of the Hill
"Bobby!"
King of the Hill
"There they are, the nature haters! Let's get them!"
King of the Hill
"[Screaming]"
King of the Hill
"Pull over right here, by that culvert."
King of the Hill
"Well, we can't stuff this bird in here. It'll never fit."
King of the Hill
"You could eat it."
King of the Hill
"Damn. And I filled up on silence sticks."
King of the Hill
"Brother Bird, I have given you a last flight and made my peace with you."
King of the Hill
"HANK: Son, would you please knock it off? You're driving me nuts."
King of the Hill
"There is no Wematanye."
King of the Hill
"It's just some damn nonsense we made up to fill out the weekend."
King of the Hill
"How do you know my name, crane killer?"
King of the Hill
"I never met any of you people before in my life."
King of the Hill
"Those spirit bags of yours are just my ex-wife's old socks."
King of the Hill
"And by the way, I want them back."
King of the Hill
"So..."
King of the Hill
"everything you said was all a lie?"
King of the Hill
"HANK: I didn't mean to let you down. I just..."
King of the Hill
"When Dale, and Bill, and Boomhauer, and me went through this as kids..."
King of the Hill
"all the tricks and lies from our dads, they were part of the experience."
King of the Hill
"It brought us all together. You know, us against them."
King of the Hill
"I don't want to be against you. You're my dad."
King of the Hill
"We're supposed to be on the same team."
King of the Hill
"WOMAN: There they are."
King of the Hill
"Sir, you lied to me. You lied to this little boy."
King of the Hill
"Son, hand me the bird body. I need it for evidence."
King of the Hill
"Well, I'll be damned."
King of the Hill
"Wematanye."
King of the Hill
"I guess knocking a crane unconscious isn't a crime."
King of the Hill
"Although it's probably not good for them. You're free to go."
King of the Hill
"That was just the final test."
King of the Hill
"The bird was just unconscious, Bobby."
King of the Hill
"It was dead until I made Wematanye bring it back to life."
King of the Hill
"I'm a shaman."
King of the Hill
"God, my head hurts."
King of the Hill
"I can heal you, Dad."
King of the Hill
"Woo-loo-loo."
King of the Hill
"[Sighs]"
King of the Hill
"PEGGY: Welcome home, boys. Did you have fun?"
King of the Hill
"Don't ask. How was your weekend?"
King of the Hill
"PEGGY: Oh, same old, same old."
King of the Hill
"Did you do some shopping?"
King of the Hill
"Yeah. I bought a microwave."
King of the Hill
"[AII yelling]"
King of the Hill
"I heard my dad talking to your dad."
King of the Hill
"[Theme music]"
King of the Hill
"DALE: They're not jokes, Bill. They're painful lessons."
King of the Hill
"Let's do that, Hank."
King of the Hill
"I'm gonna put it right here, next to my sewing badge."
King of the Hill
"It's supposed to be hard."
King of the Hill
"I heard they make you walk on hot coals."
King of the Hill
"HANK: Hold on, boys. Before we go..."
King of the Hill
"[Gasps]"
King of the Hill
"I see Texas, Wematanye."
King of the Hill
"Oh, man. What kind of lefty hootenanny is this?"
King of the Hill
"HANK: Amen. ALL: Amen."
King of the Hill
"Wematanye."
King of the Hill
"BOYS: Woo-Ioo-Ioo..."
King of the Hill
"They'll be out there another hour, and then we'll go get them."
King of the Hill
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