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Clips from King of the Hill - The Order of the Straight Arrow (S01E01)

"- And I was wondering... - I'd be honored to look after your wife."
King of the Hill
"Well, thanks."
King of the Hill
"is if you had some good Indian stuff for the ceremony around the campfire."
King of the Hill
"Our rituals are considered sacred and are passed down only in the Nation."
King of the Hill
"- Well, that don't bother us. - Hell, no. We'll take a sacred one."
King of the Hill
"There is a very ancient ceremony I learned from my grandfather..."
King of the Hill
"And we ask him to breathe life into our spirit bag."
King of the Hill
"I like how you say everything's sacred. That's funny, too."
King of the Hill
"I got them in the divorce."
King of the Hill
"Now every time she plays, she gets blisters."
King of the Hill
"Don't you think she'd have bought some new socks by now?"
King of the Hill
"And then you have to eat them."
King of the Hill
"Ew!"
King of the Hill
"- Hell. That's hot. - Hell. You're not kidding."
King of the Hill
"BOBBY: Fu... PEGGY: Pardonnez me."
King of the Hill
"Did I just hear what I almost heard?"
King of the Hill
"I was gonna say, "Fu-get about it.""
King of the Hill
"Son, Peggy Hill knows half a swear word when she hears one."
King of the Hill
"You have the coolest mom."
King of the Hill
"She smells like Miracle Whip."
King of the Hill
"- How you doing? - Hey, "Useless.""
King of the Hill
"Ha ha."
King of the Hill
"Remember, the purpose of this weekend is to have fun."
King of the Hill
"Can you imagine how I'd have turned out if my dad had loved me no matter what?"
King of the Hill
"- Thanks for the bus fare, Aunt Peggy. - Don't be silly, honey."
King of the Hill
"It's very important that you be there for your mama. This is her big day."
King of the Hill
"Actually, her big day is the sentencing."
King of the Hill
"Take lots of pictures."
King of the Hill
"There we go."
King of the Hill
"Gosh, Peg, if I didn't know better, I'd think you were anxious to see us go."
King of the Hill
"Well, that is not true. You and Bobby are my whole life."
King of the Hill
"Come on, kids! Let's go! Everybody in the car! Ándele! Now!"
King of the Hill
"- Cool, Indian stuff. - Wematanye."
King of the Hill
"So pee now, because once we're on the road, we ain't stopping."
King of the Hill
"[Engine starting]"
King of the Hill
"Damn it. It looks like we're delayed a couple hours."
King of the Hill
"I gotta charge up the battery."
King of the Hill
"PEGGY: Pop the clutch, hon!"
King of the Hill
"[Peggy grunting]"
King of the Hill
"[Engine starts]"
King of the Hill
"Wematanye. Let's spot license plates."
King of the Hill
"Wematanye, there's another Texas, Wematanye."
King of the Hill
"- Wematanye, I see Texas, Wematanye. - Oh, God."
King of the Hill
"Wematanye, Texas, Wematanye."
King of the Hill
"Would you guys just shut up?"
King of the Hill
"Boomhauer, pass them. I got an idea. Pass 'em up."
King of the Hill
"[Dale screaming]"
King of the Hill
"Wematanye. I see Mr. Gribble's butt. Wematanye."
King of the Hill
"BOOMHAUER: Give them a little pressed ham."
King of the Hill
"[Yelling]"
King of the Hill
"RANDY: Wematanye! Texas! Wematanye! HANK: All right, that's it."
King of the Hill
"Everybody pile out, right now."
King of the Hill
"Okay. The 24-hour oath of silence starts now."
King of the Hill
"Here are your silence sticks."
King of the Hill
"That's what the white man calls them."
King of the Hill
"Wematanye calls them silence sticks to test your spirit of shutting up."
King of the Hill
"Talk five times, and you're out."
King of the Hill
"Right now?"
King of the Hill
"Now, I'll let that pass. But don't talk again."
King of the Hill
"Thanks, Dad."
King of the Hill
"I'm hungry."
King of the Hill
"No problem."
King of the Hill
"JOSEPH: Mr. Hill, wake up!"
King of the Hill
"That was a test."
King of the Hill
"Joseph, give Mr. Dauterive a bite of your silence stick."
King of the Hill
"Remember, kids, you never know when you're gonna be tested."
King of the Hill
"Now, who else is hungry?"
King of the Hill
"ALL: I am. HANK: Gotcha!"
King of the Hill
"Bobby, Randy, Garth, pass your silence sticks up."
King of the Hill
"See, kids? It's harder than you think."
King of the Hill
"You don't want to end up like Randy's dad."
King of the Hill
"My dad's a successful patent lawyer."
King of the Hill
"Not in the eyes of Wematanye."
King of the Hill
"I'm still hungry."
King of the Hill
"[Bill laughing]"
King of the Hill
"Well, these things are addictive."
King of the Hill
"Wematanye! Mr. Gribble's not wearing his seatbelt..."
King of the Hill
"Bobby! You just got four in a row."
King of the Hill
"One more bite, and you can't make Straight Arrow!"
King of the Hill
"BILL: I'll take that jerky now."
King of the Hill
"There it is, boys. The great outdoors."
King of the Hill
"[Cars honking]"
King of the Hill
"for the Texas spotted owl, the snail darter, and the endangered whooping crane."
King of the Hill
"And we eliminated 300 logging jobs."
King of the Hill
"PROTESTERS: Yeah. Right on, man."
King of the Hill
"Also, this note, people. The brown herbal Ecstasy is bad."
King of the Hill
"Do not, I repeat, do not take the brown herbal Ecstasy. Thank you all."
King of the Hill
"Would it kill a tree if she wore a bra?"
King of the Hill
"[Radio static]"
King of the Hill
"[Static]"
King of the Hill
"[Static]"
King of the Hill
"[Murmurs]"
King of the Hill
"I'm beginning to think this silence thing is just so we don't bother them."
King of the Hill
"They're not testing anything except for how dumb we are! It's all a trick."
King of the Hill
"My dad wouldn't trick us!"
King of the Hill
"ALL: Wematanye."
King of the Hill
"Wematanye. Who wants another beer? Wematanye."
King of the Hill
"As long as the sacred fire is burning, the oath of silence is suspended."
King of the Hill
"Shut up! I'm talking here."
King of the Hill
"We of the Order of the Straight Arrow call upon the spirit, Wematanye..."
King of the Hill
"protector of the sacred ground that brings us cool water to drink..."
King of the Hill
"and energy-efficient, clean-burning propane gas..."
King of the Hill
"for all our sacred heating and cooking needs."
King of the Hill
"Also it says here, you gotta love all her creatures."
King of the Hill
"Let's see. Here we go."
King of the Hill
"Though we walk through the valley of the shadow of death..."
King of the Hill
"with liberty and justice for all."
King of the Hill
"Wematanye is with you and with Texas."
King of the Hill
"Name?"
King of the Hill
"HANK: Now we will say the oath of the Order of the Straight Arrow."
King of the Hill
"ALL: A Straight Arrow tells the truth."
King of the Hill
"A Straight Arrow loves nature."
King of the Hill
"A Straight Arrow is against Bill HR 57..."
King of the Hill
"to allow the importation of South American propane."
King of the Hill
"And now for the final test."
King of the Hill
"The snipe hunt."
King of the Hill
"Those who survive will be honored members..."
King of the Hill
"of the Order of the Straight Arrow."
King of the Hill
"And those who don't will be dead."
King of the Hill
"[Gasping]"
King of the Hill
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