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Clips from A Series of Unfortunate Events - The Wide Window: Part One (S01E01)

"That's why I couldn't meet you on the docks."
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"I'm too haunted by the past."
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"Does this have anything to do with our parents?"
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"Ike. He was my best friend, my partner,"
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"and one of the few people I knew who could whistle with crackers in his mouth."
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"was Mozart's 14th symphony."
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"We were all friends, your parents and Ike and me."
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"We used to gather on these shores for picnics"
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"- Our parents developed secret codes? - I'll never forget our last picnic."
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"I warned Ike to wait an hour after eating before going into the lake,"
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"That's what's supposed to happen if you don't wait an hour before you swim."
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"Cramps are one reason, but in Lake Lachrymose, there's another."
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"Part of the lake is a breeding ground for the Lachrymose Leeches,"
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"which are quite different from regular leeches."
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"They each have six rows of very sharp teeth"
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"and one very sharp nose"
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"that can smell the tiniest bit of food from far, far away."
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"The Lachrymose Leeches are usually quite harmless,"
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"but if they smell food on a human,"
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"they will start to swarm around him and..."
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"I apologize, children."
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"It is grammatically incorrect to end a sentence with the word and,"
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"but I get so upset when I think about Ike."
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"- We're sorry we asked about him. - We didn't mean to upset you."
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"Aunt Josephine, you said you had answers for us."
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"As soon as Sunny said what she said,"
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"Sunny? What did she say?"
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"Don't you remember, Klaus? She said delmo,"
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"and that's when I knew what I had to impart."
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"The key to making sense to this... this confusing and terrifying world."
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"- Grammar? - Grammar."
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"Since I lost Ike, I have devoted my life to the study of it."
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"Oh! And there is an explicitly illustrated encyclopedia of verbs."
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"I am so happy to have"
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"three young new charges to learn everything,"
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"from the Oxford comma to the Wesleyan semicolon."
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"- Grammar. - Grammar!"
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"It's the greatest joy in life, don't you find?"
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"Uh, you used the wrong tense, Klaus. It's a common grammatical error."
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"You should have said,"
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"What did grammar have to do with developing secret codes?"
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"- What did grammar have to do... - Absolutely nothing."
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"It's the clock."
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"Lunch time."
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"Soup sounds wonderful."
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"- Uh, cold soup. - Oh, yes. I never cook anything hot."
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"I'm afraid to turn on the stove. It... it might burst into flames."
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"This is chilled cucumber soup. It's a recipe that I learned in Egypt,"
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"Our father lived in Egypt before we were born."
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"- Is that when you... - I don't talk about that."
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"- When we were living with Uncle Monty... - I said I don't talk about that."
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"- But there was a statue... - Klaus, I said I don't talk about that."
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"You don't talk about that? Or you won't?"
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"This is one of those rare grammatical instances"
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"where don't and won't mean the same thing."
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"Those were fierce and formidable days."
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"But I don't talk about that, and you won't hear about that."
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"I shouldn't have to tell you orphans"
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"there are many, many things to be afraid of in this world."
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"The safest strategy is to be afraid of them all."
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"I like to think of happier things."
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"The joys of grammar and how much Ike loved the sunshine."
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"I like to imagine that where he is now,"
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"the weather is just as lovely and sunny as can be."
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"Of course, nobody knows what happens to you when you die,"
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"Aunt Josephine, have you ever thought about moving somewhere else?"
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"Maybe if you lived far away from Lake Lachrymose,"
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"- you might feel better. - We'd go with you."
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"Maybe then you'd feel comfortable enough"
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"I could never sell this house."
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"I'm afraid of real estate agents."
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"rational and irrational."
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"fears that make sense and fears that don't."
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"For instance, the Baudelaire orphans had a fear of Count Olaf,"
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"who wants to destroy them."
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"But if they were afraid of lemon meringue pie,"
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"that would be an irrational fear because lemon meringue pie is delicious"
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"and has never hurt a soul."
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"because they can be quite sinister and destructive."
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"But a fear of real estate agents, a term which here means"
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"would be an irrational fear"
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"because nothing sinister has ever come from the real estate market."
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"after all that unpleasantness with Mr. Snicket."
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"What are you doing here? It's the off-season."
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"Thanks to a helpful real estate agent, this restaurant is under new management."
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"New management? Don't make me laugh."
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"You're not laughing."
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"Neither are you."
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"The Baudelaires are safe and sound and learning everything they need to know"
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"- about our secret organization. - Oh?"
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"They should've begun their training years ago, but it's not too late."
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"Rats!"
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"Their new guardian is the most fierce and formidable member of our organization."
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"Wait, not Snicket?"
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"What? No. Isn't he dead?"
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"Is he?"
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"It doesn't matter."
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"All your silly codes and obscure literary references"
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"- can't save you. - Oh?"
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"The Baudelaire children will be destroyed,"
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"You and your ridiculous comrades will be swept away."
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"That's what I'm saying. You can push me around all you want..."
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"- Thank you. - But Josephine will stop you."
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"Reports indicate that they have incredible gifts."
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"Josephine?"
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"Gifts!"
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"For Violet, a lovely doll..."
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"with plenty of outfits."
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"Her name is Pretty Penny."
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"- Isn't she adorable? - She looks a little like Madame Curie."
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"For Klaus, a deck of cards."
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"I have never been a young boy, but I hear they enjoy card games."
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"I once read a book about the history of legalized gambling."
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"And for little Sunny, it is a rattle."
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"It makes a little noise."
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"Do you like them?"
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"It's very generous of you, Aunt Josephine."
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"Well, I know my home isn't the warmest place,"
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"but if you follow the rules, it will be a safe one."
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"And as your guardian, your safety is my greatest responsibility."
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