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Clips from Night Court - The Eye of the Beholder (S01E01)

"You're kidding. Why?"
Night Court
"You're being too sensitive."
Night Court
"Not that often."
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"I wish people would stop getting out of my way."
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"...in a carnival sideshow. - Please don't."
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"...that when one sense is lost, the others become stronger to compensate."
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"Of course that's true. For example..."
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"- No, he really is. - Okay, let's go."
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"You can see. Where's the sport in that?"
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"Who is?"
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"Say, Bull, this is just a thought."
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"Yeah."
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"Get me out of here, Vince."
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"...contorted dances of lust, screams of sexual delight."
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"But damn well put, sir."
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"I know what you're thinking, Your Honor, but I'm really a very good actress."
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"I don't think so."
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"No. We spelled "easy" with a Z."
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"But when my agent called me about this job..."
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"It would've fulfilled my need to help others, to become involved..."
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"Your Honor, I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't point out that..."
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"...the pornography case against my clients is basically circumstantial."
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"Alleged perverts, Mr. Bloom."
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"- That cuts it. - What's the matter, fish-face?"
Night Court
"Yeah. Right."
Night Court
"- I'm a wall of flesh. - "Wall of flesh." Hey, I like that."
Night Court
"...which I will do in the privacy of my chambers."
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"...an agitated state."
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"- Yeah. - Come on. I'm crazy about the big lug."
Night Court
"But keep in mind that we're looking at this..."
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"They're breaking the law."
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"Of gravity."
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"Oh, I read the book."
Night Court
"Wait. Wait a minute. One of them's moving."
Night Court
"- Harry, keep talking to Bull. - I'm not exactly sure what to say."
Night Court
"Well, suggestions?"
Night Court
"And calling the Air Force is out. He'd only swat down their planes."
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"- Bull? - I can't hear you."
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"I'll call security."
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"Here you go, Mr. Foley."
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"Where would you go? I mean, what would you do?"
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"I could be a lumberjack."
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"I won't have to deal with them, which as far as I'm concerned..."
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"Bull, maybe this is none of my business..."
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"This is my problem. How can I run away from that?"
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"Hey, before you go away, pal..."
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"Dark glasses and a cane."
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"- Yeah. - Let me see it."
Night Court
"Boy, Bull sure had this guy pegged."
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"- Yeah, sure. - I'm not kidding."
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"I'm gonna send you up for 14 months."
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"Come on. What responsible person would wanna help out..."
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"Can I have him?"
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"Why do you wanna help?"
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"I guess I know what you mean."
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"Come on, judge. Give the kid a break."
Night Court
"Well, okay, but I'd feel better if you were in a responsible position."
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"Can I go to lunch?"
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"It's my hobby."
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"...to bring those two people together like a human jigsaw puzzle, without ever..."
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"You find something good in there?"
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"Peanuts."
Night Court
"Oh, yeah. What are those little guys up to now?"
Night Court
"Two-eighty a ton on the April market."
Night Court
"Thanks."
Night Court
"Do I look intimidating?"
Night Court
"Oh, in a Cro-Magnon sort of way, I suppose."
Night Court
"The Manhattan chapter of Volunteer Fathers thinks so."
Night Court
"They turned down my application."
Night Court
"My size. They felt that and my appearance might present an inhibiting factor..."
Night Court
"...in the development of a healthy adult-child relationship."
Night Court
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Night Court
"That I'd scare the kids."
Night Court
"- Goodbye. - Oh, come on, Bull."
Night Court
"It's not just you. I'm sure every one of us is influenced by the way we look."
Night Court
"- Right. - Yeah. And so we all get self-conscious."
Night Court
"Do people do this to you?"
Night Court
"After you, big fella."
Night Court
"- What's with him? - He's depressed."
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"He told us. It seems that he offered to be a volunteer father..."
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"Obvious discrimination based on nothing more than the way he looks."
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"Malcolm the Human Oddity, they called him."
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"- I'm begging you. - He had two complete faces on one head."
Night Court
"Oh, Harry."
Night Court
"Sorry. I didn't mean to gross you out. I'm sure the other face was a trick."
Night Court
"It was rubber or putty or something."
Night Court
"It wasn't. He talked."
Night Court
"Excuse me. Where's the nearest exit?"
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"- You're looking at it. - No, I'm not."
Night Court
"I think he's blind."
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"That's right, kid, but I'm not deaf."
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"You know, it must be true..."
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"...I can tell that there are four people at this table."
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"One is having a cup of coffee, two are having a muffin..."
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"...and one is..."
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"...cremating a cat."
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"- Hey, grab that guy! - Gotta run."
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"Hold it right there, Mr. Foley!"
Night Court
"Yeah, yeah. Come on. Sorry, Judge Stone. He keeps trying to escape."
Night Court
"Judge?"
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"- One of this bunch is a judge? - Yeah. I am."
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"Get out of here."
Night Court
"All right, so big deal. So you found me."
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"I don't know about you, but I feel lucky..."
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"...when I see the handicapped. - Right."
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"I admire them too."
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"They've got spirit, courage."
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"And all those great parking places."
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"Don't move."
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"Okay, fine."
Night Court
"I hate flies."
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"I bet they're not crazy about you, either."
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"...that's their loss."
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"It's not just them. People've been making a big deal out of my size all my life."
Night Court
"That's why folks started calling you Bull, huh?"
Night Court
"I meant on a regular basis."
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"Maybe it isn't just your size that intimidates people."
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"Maybe it's your... Your..."
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"If you smile at someone, they're apt to smile right back at you."
Night Court
"Sounds stupid."
Night Court
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