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Clips from Hogan's Heroes - Kommandant of the Year (S01E01)

"On behalf of General Burkhalter and the Supreme Command,"
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"this medal as Kommandant of the Year."
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"In addition, Colonel Klink, it is my privilege"
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"to award you this scroll,"
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"as one of the top ten camps in all Germany."
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"( men cheer )"
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"Speech! Speech! Speech!"
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"Bravo! Bravo!"
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"Bravo! Bravo!"
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"( clears throat )"
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"Once upon a time, there was a little boy"
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"who lived in his home town of Dusseldorf."
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"He was a handsome boy, well liked"
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"by his fellow students at the gymnasium,"
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"but he had one little problem--"
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"he was not a very good student."
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"He could not pass his examination for the law,"
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"not even for bookkeeping."
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"So, one day, his father said to this little boy,"
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"Son, he said, you are obviously good for nothing else,"
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"so why don't you join the army?"
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"( laughs )"
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"Friends and enemies."
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"( all laughing )"
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"Where are you going?"
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"Just going to see the rocket."
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"Oh, how nice. What?"
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"I'll be right back in just a minute."
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"I see nothing! Nothing!"
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"He came to see me play my first soccer game."
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"By the end of the half, it was evident..."
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"Hogan."
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"Oh, Colonel Hogan."
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"Schneider?"
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"the concussion will fire the rocket."
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"( all cheering )"
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"Make it quick, huh?"
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"Right."
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"And so I want to thank each and every one of you"
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"for your cooperation,"
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"and I hope that in the future"
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"we may continue to work together."
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"ALL: More! More! More!"
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"Good?"
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"You're a smash!"
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"Give 'em a little bit more,"
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"as long as you got 'em warmed up."
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"Come on."
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"It's going over with a bang."
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"One night my good friend Field Marshal Goering"
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"brought a lovely fraulein to our officers...."
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"Oh, Major Hauser."
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"I-I-I was just admiring your rocket here."
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"...at the end of the evening, she even asked me..."
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"Klink is a fine officer, but hardly a great speechmaker."
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"My feelings exactly."
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"That's all we have."
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"In closing, I am reminded of another little story"
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"It happened in 1938..."
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"Actually, sir, the new type has many built-in safeguards"
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"This device here, for example,"
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"you cannot turn it to the alert position"
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"unless all systems are in working order."
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"Here, let me show you."
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"...as though nothing had happened,"
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"I can even press the firing button with complete safety."
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"What happened?"
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"I think one of your rockets is missing."
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"Colonel, it is a catastrophe!"
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"It is a catastrophe, Colonel!"
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"This is a catastrophe!"
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"My medal is missing!"
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"Don't worry, Colonel."
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"We'll make you a new one."
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"The entire reputation of Stalag 13 is destroyed."
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"Colonel Schneider is on his way to Berlin."
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"He will report to General Burkhalter,"
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"Major Hauser will confirm the report."
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"Ah, all is lost."
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"Oh, cheer up. You still have me."
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"The Russian front at this time of year."
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"I'm catching cold already."
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"It's very important."
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"I said not now, Schultz."
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"Look, you could always say"
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"the rocket was aimed at England."
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"and pushed the button."
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"Do you think a board of inquiry is going to believe...?"
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"Thank you for your suggestion, Colonel Hogan."
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"I never went away, Herr Kommandant."
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"It is very hot!"
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"I told them not to bother me with these things."
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"No! You said aimed at England, huh?"
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"Mm-hmm."
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"half of the airfield of Hamburg is missing."
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"Destroyed."
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"Maybe he has a better lie than yours."
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"( clucks tongue )"
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"What could I do, Schultz?"
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"Got enough guards around, it must be important."
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"Hey, gang, what about if we"
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"in the headquarters of the fuhrer himself."
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"but, uh... just in case,"
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"Stand by for our next installment, 12 hours."
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"They've really tightened up on security."
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"What's Klink trying to prove, anyway?"
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"Give me that."
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"for the Russian front."
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"Matter of fact, I'm very fond of caviar."
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"Page five, Chapter three, Section four."
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"Yes, sir."
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"Oh, Germany's just crawling with Schneiders."
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"and then back to the routine"
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"I'm a soldier, not a politician."
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"I will not talk for 30 minutes."
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"and you can't find four lousy commandos?"
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"Kamerad! Kamerad!"
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"We've only got a couple of minutes."
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"I worked on the original model."
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"He's trying to show that major from Berlin"
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