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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Zarnecki Incursion (S04E04)

"I took Howard to the beach once."
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"He almost burst into flames like a vampire."
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"What's the thanks I get for turning Leonard into quality boyfriend material?"
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"I have to tiptoe around his new girlfriend."
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"I think you're on."
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"That bitch."
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"You want some coffee liqueur on your ice cream?"
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"Here's the alcohol and drug peer pressure mother warned me about."
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"I was starting to think it was never gonna happen."
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"Yes, please."
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"Should've seen Leonard when we met. No eye contact."
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"He was either looking up at the ceiling or down at his shoes."
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"For the first months whenever I'd take off my bra..."
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"...he would giggle and say, "Oh, boy, my breast friends.""
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"If it makes you feel better, I'm never speaking to Priya again."
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"This may be the alcohol talking, but I believe there is."
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"Are you familiar with the study of Tanzanian chimpanzees..."
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"...by Nishida and Hosaka out of Kyoto University?"
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"No, but I can name all the Kardashians."
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"Primates such as ourselves have a natural instinct..."
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"...to ostracize ill-mannered members of the troop."
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"Bernadette's urge to shun, scowl..."
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"...or fling her waste at Priya is hardwired into her DNA."
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"I don't have an urge to fling my waste."
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"Hit me with some more booze and I'll show you."
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"This is the tavern where all the black market weapon trades go down."
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"I don't think my character should be in a place like this."
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"Maybe if you stop dropping your sword and bending over to pick it up."
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"- What exactly are we looking for? - Redheaded troll by the name of Glumly."
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"According to this, if you wanna move stolen goods..."
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"...and it's after school hours, he's your guy."
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"Is this going to take much longer? We were gonna spend some time together."
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"We are. In the meantime..."
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"...you're welcome to whip up a character and join us."
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"Well, you have to put in a credit card number, but it's fun."
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"- Our troll walked in. I got him. - We got him. We're almost done."
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"...with his Internet service provider."
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"Sheldon, what if he gets his Internet from his cable company?"
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"He could lose his HBO and all their delightful original programming."
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"I don't care. I'm losing it, man."
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"Oh, dear Lord."
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"No, I think we have to be more subtle."
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"Okay, I see where this is going."
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"Fine, I'll have sex with him."
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"That's not where it was going."
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"Good, because I would hate that."
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"Leonard, you're busy, let's talk tomorrow."
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"Oh, wait, hang on. Are you upset?"
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"No, no, I think it's sexy to date a boy trapped in a man's body."
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"Good, good. I'll tell you what happens."
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"People think I don't get sarcasm."
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"Well, well, well."
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"Look who it is."
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"- Okay. Be nice. - Hello."
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"- We're just heading out for a drink. - Because I do that now."
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"Count your blessings you're not a Tanzanian chimp."
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"- What? - Don't listen to her."
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"She's had a lot of ice cream."
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"Do you wanna join us?"
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"Oh, thank you, but I have work to do."
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"Four women walk down the stairs. How many reach the lobby?"
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"Did your sister say anything when you got home last night?"
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"Don't put me in the middle of this. I'm not going to be your go-between."
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"Come on, help me out. Am I in trouble?"
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"- There's no reason to worry. - That's a relief."
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"Many women in happy relationships spend their nights..."
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"...Skyping with their ex-boyfriend Sanjay."
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"- What? - Really?"
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"Yeah, no one can hide from me."
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"Not Waldo, not Carmen Sandiego, not even topless Natalie Portman."
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"Thanks. Our culprit is one Mr. Todd Zarnecki."
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"2711 Ocean View Road, Carlsbad, California."
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"The name and the address drip with evil."
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"- What else do we know about him? - Quite a bit, actually."
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"I bet he's some loser who lives with his parents."
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"Yes, he does live with his parents."
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"Excellent. It's in a cul-de-sac. We can box him in."
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"- Hold on, you're thinking of going there? - Carlsbad is only a couple of hours away."
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"You walk up to the house, knock on the door and demand your stuff back."
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"- What if he says no? - I don't know if you've been following..."
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"...but there have been some advancements in the field of torture."
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"Fine, we'll abide by the Geneva Convention."
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"But ask yourself this:"
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"In the course of our lives, how much lunch money has been taken from us?"
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"How many kites?"
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"- I totally had one of those. - Of course you did."
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"A fun and practical way of organizing your schoolwork."
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"But the bullies took it from us. Well, no more."
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"Tonight, we take back our dignity, our birthright and our pride."
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"What do you say? Who's with me?"
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"- Sure. - Also, tonight's the Sabbath..."
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"If we could leave at 8, we'd still regain our birthright at 10, 10:30 latest."
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"- Leonard? - Oh, jeez..."
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"...I don't know if I can ditch Priya two nights in a row."
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"Oh, come on, man. Bros before..."
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"- Screw it. I'm in. - Me too."
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"One moment."
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"I'm hell-bent on catching a cyber criminal, not the common cold."
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"I thought this delay was so you could watch Wheel of Fortune..."
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"Check it out. Hey, Ma!"
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""Before and after," four words, 17 letters, two N's, one V!"
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"Fanny pack of wolves!"
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"- That's incredible. - Yeah, she's kind of a Wheel savant."
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"Uh-oh. That's Priya."
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"Sitar music for her ringtone is not cool, dude."
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"Hit the..."
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"Hey, sweetie."
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"I miss you too."
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"Okay, sure, I'll call you when I get home. Okay, bye-bye."
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"Very nice. You lie to my sister."
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"That's the nicest thing he does to your sister."
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"- Guess who? - Cover for me."
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"Hello, Priya. What's up?"
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"How would I know if Leonard's at work or not?"
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"Don't be suspicious."
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"If you want your relationship to continue..."
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"...you have to believe whatever wild-eyed, cockamamy excuse..."
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"...the white devil has the nerve to offer you."
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"Okay? Yeah. Bye-bye."
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"New puzzle, Ma!"
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