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Clips from Scrubs - My Tormented Mentor (S03E03)

"Who's with me?"
Scrubs
"No?"
Scrubs
"Why don't you lay off her? And don't say "I'd like to lay on Dr Miller.""
Scrubs
"High-five later for reading my mind."
Scrubs
"You know, I don't think you're stupid,"
Scrubs
"despite you washing your hands with your gloves already on."
Scrubs
"- Dammit. - But keep your mouth shut. OK?"
Scrubs
"It's hard for Dr Miller being a female surgeon here."
Scrubs
"All right, all those who are assisting me today step forward."
Scrubs
"Not so fast, beer bong. You're out."
Scrubs
"Hello? The door was open..."
Scrubs
"Oh God, I'm sorry. I'm very sorry. I just came to tell you both"
Scrubs
"- Thank you. - Just a second, darling."
Scrubs
"We will leave. But before we go, Ali could really use a man's opinion."
Scrubs
"Does this bra make my boobs look real?"
Scrubs
"- Oh, yes. - Damn. Let's switch."
Scrubs
"No, no switchies. I think we should all be happy"
Scrubs
"with the bras God gave us. I really should go."
Scrubs
"We were going to go to the gym, but I could just as easily throw up instead."
Scrubs
"Or you could just give us a workout right here."
Scrubs
"I could hang for a smidge."
Scrubs
"Good, cos we've got something to tell you."
Scrubs
"You know, ladies, I'm not usually into the rough stuff but..."
Scrubs
"- I'm bored with this. - So am I."
Scrubs
"34, 35, 36."
Scrubs
"Todd, you have 37 complaints of sexual harassment."
Scrubs
"See? It's working."
Scrubs
"- Good luck with the seminar. - Dr Kelso?"
Scrubs
"- You have five. - I put those in to prove a point."
Scrubs
"You'll notice the Kelsos are written with a lower case "k"."
Scrubs
"- No, they're not. - It was worth a shot."
Scrubs
"There must be some loophole for me. Where's Ted?"
Scrubs
"Great service by Reverend Kim today."
Scrubs
"So, you ladies doing anything after?"
Scrubs
"No music in my OR, Hammer."
Scrubs
"Hammer time. Second, I got your back, so cut me a little slack."
Scrubs
"You have my back?"
Scrubs
"Anybody gives you trouble, I'll handle him."
Scrubs
"- Cos little old me can't? - I didn't mean it that way."
Scrubs
"Worse than basic knuckle-dragging, scalpel jocks I usually work with"
Scrubs
"is you. You are the worst kind of sexist."
Scrubs
"You're one of the sneaky ones who says all the right things,"
Scrubs
"when what you really think is that I'm a little girl who needs protecting."
Scrubs
"Now, I would appreciate it if you would apologise."
Scrubs
"Sometimes it seems like men and women speak a different language."
Scrubs
"OK. You all know why you're here."
Scrubs
"Player, check it."
Scrubs
"And when that happens, even the best of intentions can be misunderstood."
Scrubs
"Oh, God."
Scrubs
"And misunderstandings, they can lead to disaster."
Scrubs
"And the shirts and the shoes and sometimes my underwear?"
Scrubs
"- Really? - I said nothing."
Scrubs
"Mr Roberts likes to wear my brassieres."
Scrubs
"If this woman doesn't like me,"
Scrubs
"I won't become the youngest chief of surgery in history and cure paralysis,"
Scrubs
"which will stop my birthday being a national holiday,"
Scrubs
"and everyone knows I hate to work on my birthday."
Scrubs
"Do you have any idea what it's like to have three angry, underfed women"
Scrubs
"tear you several new ones for a full hour?"
Scrubs
"Yes. I caught the matinee of that show. Not for the whole family."
Scrubs
"Then don't stick any part of your hairless body into my business."
Scrubs
"Trust me, there is nothing for you to gain from it."
Scrubs
"Even if you went on a cruise to the most remote regions of the ocean"
Scrubs
"and rescued my drowning body in time to pump the seawater out of my lungs"
Scrubs
"and bring me back from the brink of death,"
Scrubs
"I would still be upset that the first face I saw was yours."
Scrubs
"You wouldn't see it because it would be in your chest,"
Scrubs
"giving you the hug you've been afraid to ask for all your life."
Scrubs
"You don't want my help, I'll back off, but only because I feel a bit guilty."
Scrubs
"About what?"
Scrubs
"You come here, Judy."
Scrubs
"Well done there, Bob-O."
Scrubs
"When my patients ask me where I was,"
Scrubs
"I'll tell them I was too busy attending this chat fest with you"
Scrubs
"Did I say any of you boys could talk? No, I did not."
Scrubs
"Now this part is especially important so I need everyone's full attention."
Scrubs
"Come here, you rat bastard."
Scrubs
"Awesome."
Scrubs
"Dr Miller, hi. You look very nice today."
Scrubs
"Thanks. My patient just died but if I look good I'm psyched."
Scrubs
"No, you work in a tough specialty"
Scrubs
"and you maintain your femininity and I find that very sexy."
Scrubs
"Dr Turk is a good friend of mine and he's not a sexist and I know sexists."
Scrubs
"When my dad's not asking the maid for neck rubs,"
Scrubs
"he tells me to get in a closet if I'm emotional."
Scrubs
"- There's a closet. - It's one of my favourites."
Scrubs
"I've seen you with your "can do" attitude,"
Scrubs
"and because you're a female doctor you think you're part of the solution."
Scrubs
"But everything about you screams,"
Scrubs
""What does that cutie in radiology think about me?""
Scrubs
"Dr Turk may ask you where to get his girlfriend some naughty lingerie."
Scrubs
"We both know women all crave leather push-up bras with leather tassels"
Scrubs
"that go around and around but still I ask you, is that respect?"
Scrubs
"Move, Barbie!"
Scrubs
"Yes, he fell. I'm gonna get away."
Scrubs
"You know who I haven't seen today?"
Scrubs
"- You looking for that? - Like you read about."
Scrubs
"Come here, you."
Scrubs
"Spill."
Scrubs
"Dr Cox had nothing to do with me going to see your scary friends."
Scrubs
"- I love how adult our relationship is. - Fine! You want some straight shooting?"
Scrubs
"Having those two harpies nesting in our home is not helping."
Scrubs
"Jordan, I cannot figure out why they're still here. It is beyond me."
Scrubs
"You OK?"
Scrubs
"Why don't you grow a pair, Sally?"
Scrubs
"That's going in the box. Girls' names are out."
Scrubs
"Well?"
Scrubs
"I hate to quote my mom, but Dr Miller is so uptight,"
Scrubs
"she could use a pitcher of martinis and a smooth-chested pool boy."
Scrubs
"- I knew you'd hate her. - I love her."
Scrubs
"Do you know what I would give to have a female attending like her"
Scrubs
"pushing me not to let the fact that I'm a woman hold me back?"
Scrubs
"- You have no idea how hard it is. - I have no idea?"
Scrubs
"- Black. - Woman."
Scrubs
"Much prop, Dr Rhodes. Go get 'em!"
Scrubs
"Turk, let me ask you one question. Gun to your head."
Scrubs
"Who do you think make better doctors? Men or women?"
Scrubs
"- Then I am thoroughly confused. - This is a total waste of a time."
Scrubs
"Do you know why it's a waste of time?"
Scrubs
"Take Bob-O here. He's just a product of a different era."
Scrubs
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