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Clips from Scrubs - My Day at the Races (S05E05)

"Turk and Carla were letting me crash here as long as I needed."
Scrubs
"and the only job I can get is working at this free clinic"
Scrubs
"for eight bucks an hour. No one's life could be worse than mine."
Scrubs
"but you're missing a Victoria's Secret commercial."
Scrubs
"[J.D.] I'm a little proud."
Scrubs
"Relationships, things of that nature."
Scrubs
"- J.D. And I keep it superficial. - Love the superficial."
Scrubs
"- Sparkly! - Yeah!"
Scrubs
"- I'll be there. - Gracias, amigo."
Scrubs
"I borrowed one of your dictionaries."
Scrubs
"Oh, damn, I left my briefcase upstairs."
Scrubs
"Dr. Wen! Dr. Wen! I've got your brief..."
Scrubs
"- [J.D.] He was not. - [All shouting]"
Scrubs
"Then let it begin."
Scrubs
"[Shouting]"
Scrubs
"[Screams] Here comes the big dog!"
Scrubs
"[Both] Hyah!"
Scrubs
"- Betrayal five. [shouts] - [Groans]"
Scrubs
"You know, I totally saw that coming."
Scrubs
"Remember when we made lists of all the stuff we wanted to do by 30?"
Scrubs
"Now that ain't right!"
Scrubs
"15 percent of all surgical complications are anesthesia-related,"
Scrubs
"I'd like to throw in Gwen Stefani tonight instead of Jordan,"
Scrubs
"Hypnosis is for birthday parties and bad Vegas lounges."
Scrubs
"- Knock her out and dig. - Do it."
Scrubs
"OK. I'm gonna go with Dr. Cox on this one."
Scrubs
"That's a rookie move, and you hate to see it."
Scrubs
"What if we have a daughter and she wants her ears pierced?"
Scrubs
"though his friends are playing football?"
Scrubs
"# S- S-S-S, A-A-A-A, F-F-F-F-F, E-E-E-E-E"
Scrubs
"Didn't you learn your lesson that time you told him the commissar was in town?"
Scrubs
"Jordan, here's the plan:"
Scrubs
"I'm gonna cram an entire evening's worth of drinking"
Scrubs
"Jordan Godzilla Sullivan! You stop that, and you stop it now!"
Scrubs
"You know, before the Ioneliness burns too much?"
Scrubs
"Gosh, I did enjoy that!"
Scrubs
"I'm afraid of dragonflies. I'm not gonna make a big deal out of this."
Scrubs
"Don't lump me in with you 'cause I'm a surgeon, I'm married,"
Scrubs
"Dr. Kelso! Have any idea who's gonna get those three attending spots next year?"
Scrubs
"Three, not counting the one going to me!"
Scrubs
"It was classic."
Scrubs
"Well, it's about time."
Scrubs
"I'm not exactly religious, you know,"
Scrubs
"but I do think that God watches after my family and,"
Scrubs
"- Yeah, it's not happening. - Come on!"
Scrubs
"You're quiet as a mouse. All the screaming is in your head."
Scrubs
"Fine, why don't you tell me your wildest fantasy."
Scrubs
"Oh, if there's a crow in there, fine, if not, I can live with it."
Scrubs
"- Get outta here! - Why are you so pissy?"
Scrubs
"I'll do the triathlon!"
Scrubs
"[J.D.] The harder you push yourself to do something,"
Scrubs
"the harder it is to back out."
Scrubs
"... or you're trying to get your boyfriend to open."
Scrubs
"Come on! Come in and show me what you really like."
Scrubs
"Pick an apple, put it in your pocket."
Scrubs
"Yeah, we got visiting doctors, video crews,"
Scrubs
"No interviews! [panting]"
Scrubs
"I can't do this. I don't believe in this hypnotism crap."
Scrubs
"- I only needed to impress Kelso. - Oh, great, you lied to me."
Scrubs
"But you know what, you're absolutely right, let's focus on the lying."
Scrubs
"- I got a surprise visitor. - [Bell dings]"
Scrubs
"I haven't been able to feel my genitals since they first touched water,"
Scrubs
"Dangerous topic. Talk to Carla."
Scrubs
"Anytime I talk about a guy, she tells me to marry him"
Scrubs
"Talking about Jake violates the most important tenets of our relationship."
Scrubs
"Let's forget that hypnosis is used to lower bleeding,"
Scrubs
"[J.D.] During the eight-mile run, dehydration set in."
Scrubs
"- Hang in there, buddy! - See you at the luau!"
Scrubs
"Do you remember how close we used to be?"
Scrubs
"talking about everything? I miss that."
Scrubs
"I wanna be able to tell you my boyfriend freaked me out."
Scrubs
"You're pretty smart for a guy running in bike shoes."
Scrubs
"You can do this. You can do this."
Scrubs
"Small world. Scalpel."
Scrubs
"Making first incision."
Scrubs
"Hmm?"
Scrubs
"Clamp, please!"
Scrubs
"Jake, I think we need to talk."
Scrubs
"- [J.D.] Sometimes, not so quietly. - You can do this."
Scrubs
"Oh-b no-b."
Scrubs
"You can do this! You can do this! You can do this! You can do this!"
Scrubs
"[J.D.] And suddenly, you realize you've taken something as far as it can go."
Scrubs
"She's right, Turkelton. Hell, without anesthesia,"
Scrubs
"Maybe they'll put it in Almost Magazine."
Scrubs
"You know, it wouldn't hurt you to make some noise around here."
Scrubs
"See? My baby made some noise."
Scrubs
"J.D., what you said before..."
Scrubs
"We are moving forward."
Scrubs
"Elliot, I'm 30 years old, I'm single, I'm homeless"
Scrubs
"Why don't you just move into my place?"
Scrubs
"By my watch, you've got eight minutes to finish this thing. Come on."
Scrubs
"- I can't. - Come on!"
Scrubs
"That man had obviously never run a triathlon."
Scrubs
"You're not really helping!"
Scrubs
"And with... and with two minutes to spare!"
Scrubs
"- No. - Whips?"
Scrubs
"- Was he a Mexican apple thief? - [Sighs] If only..."
Scrubs
"[J.D.] Since I was currently homeless,"
Scrubs
"J.D., you have to get out. This place is tiny."
Scrubs
"I'm sick of seeing your man-panties all over the bathroom."
Scrubs
"- They're called boxers, Carla. - They're satin, J.D."
Scrubs
"With a breathable cotton crotch panel. King me."
Scrubs
"I need to find someone to split the rent at my place."
Scrubs
"I thought you were getting good money at your fellowship."
Scrubs
"Uh, the fellowship's great."
Scrubs
"Oh, God, Carla, please don't tell them I'm working at a free clinic."
Scrubs
"[Carla] She doesn't want me to tell them."
Scrubs
"Women have an unspoken connection men can't even fathom."
Scrubs
"[Turk] I'm watching Gisele in my spoon right now."
Scrubs
"- Whoa, whoa, whoa and whoa! - Hold your horses!"
Scrubs
"- We have a very complicated past. - Yeah, I hurt her, and I'm not proud."
Scrubs
"We've restored our friendship by staying away from dangerous topics."
Scrubs
"- Dynamite teeth today. - Oh, thanks, buddy!"
Scrubs
"You can't live with Elliot. You're not living with us,"
Scrubs
"- so get out by Friday. - Friday?"
Scrubs
"- Friday. - My birthday!"
Scrubs
"I've e-vited everyone to a party at our place."
Scrubs
"- Whose place? - Your place."
Scrubs
"I can't just un-e-vite everyone."
Scrubs
"I've already got two e-yeses and 24 e-maybes. That's a lot of e-sponses."
Scrubs
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