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Clips from 30 Rock - Jack the Writer (S01E01)

"Yeah, absolutely, yes. So do I."
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"Wow, I just can't believe Chamillionaire tickets were still available."
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"Ha, well..."
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"Josh to the stage, please, for "Homophobic Gays.""
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"- What was that about? - Just talking to my bud Jack Donaghy."
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"Bud? Really?"
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"Yes, he said he wants us to be friends, he gave me Chamillionaire tickets,"
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"and he even did this to me."
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"Wow, having Jack on your side can only make life easier."
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"It's good for everybody if he wants to be friends."
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"But it's weird. Like that scene with the back of Darth Vader's head without his helmet,"
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"and you're like, "He's a human being." I got to get some new DVDs."
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"- I was following you. - No, I'm going to wardrobe."
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"That looks fierce."
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"Hey, Liz."
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"Cerie, seriously. Take that off."
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"And, you, stop encouraging her. You're an enabler."
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"You need to dress like you have a job"
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"and parents who raised you"
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"Here."
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"Now I get to pick out what I think you'd look good in."
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"- You're wearing this. - Come on, no."
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"Hey, guys. What's up?"
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"- Oh, my God! - What..."
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"- What are you wearing? - You're making me gay."
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"It's a joke, obviously."
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"I'm wearing this as a joke."
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"A bunch of comedy writers don't know a joke, jeez."
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"I think I'm having a heart attack."
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"- Excellent. Right here. Thank you. - Oh, pizza."
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"There you go. Thank you, sir."
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"I don't even know how to get out there. I don't think people are allowed out there."
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"No, I see "Today Show" people eating out there all the time."
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"Really? Even Ann Curry?"
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"I'll show you the studio in just a minute,"
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"but, first, this is where my writers write."
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"Don't mind the odour."
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"the show is up in the key demos, we're driving male viewership,"
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"and we're effectively synergizing backward overflow."
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"Please, Liz. Let us eat outside."
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"He and I have an important friendship."
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"- Hey, they didn't bring any sodas. - I'll call Kenneth."
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"Excuse me, do y'all just have noodles with butter?"
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"- Reintegrate that position... - Hey, Jack! Sorry to interrupt."
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"Hey, can we eat our pizza outside?"
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"And I thought since me and you are best buds... boink..."
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"maybe you could do me a solid and slip me the key to that thing."
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"This guy's the best. He got me kick-ass Chamillionaire tickets."
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"You guys like Chamillionaire?"
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"This guy... A-plus."
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"I'm sorry for what's about to happen. Just know that I don't mean it."
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"Don't mean what?"
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"that you would dare talk to me like some plumber's wife"
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"in front of Ron Gordon and Bob Overmyer?"
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"I don't even know who those guys are."
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"and addressed me by my Christian name in front of the gentlemen from Fairfield."
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"But how would you know that with your nigh 40 years of public education"
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"and daytime-television viewing?"
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"If you ever pull a bush-league stunt like that again,"
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"I'm gonna have you writing promos for Arena football so fast,"
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"it'll make your inexplicably small head spin."
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"Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
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"because Donald Trump was eaten by a lion this morning"
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"So here's some advice I wish I would have got when I was your age."
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"The boat hits something... hard..."
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"Oh, because you have, like, one of those body-image things?"
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"Like, how'd you dress before you were married?"
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"You have to get Donaghy out of the room."
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"- Hey, Mr Donaghy. - Sorry I'm late."
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"Well, I'm sorry. He's out of the country till the end of the week."
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"I know we've had some missteps, but we've put all that behind us,"
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"See you."
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"- I thought you said we were friends. - I said we were friendly."
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"Anyway, Jack rocks."
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"So, I was doing some research on comedy"
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"Are you familiar with Six Sigma?"
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"Beep, beep, ribby, ribby!"
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"OK, would you agree when I say"
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"Oh, even when it's something normal, I hate going up to Jack's office."
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"Go easy on the pizza."
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"No, no, no. You can't say that. Jeb Bush is a friend of mine."
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"Dingleberries."
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"with your thin-lipped mouth full of greasy peasant food"
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"- Frosted Mini-Guns. - No."
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"You have to say something to Jack soon, or your writers are gonna revolt."
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"K, my boy! What's the frequency, Ken?"
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"Talk to yourself!"
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"Thanks, Liz."
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"Why would I want to fire you? This is fine."
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"- Liz, can I speak to you for a second? - Sure. What's going on?"
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"Well, I think that co-workers should have good personal relationships."
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"Lee, can I check costumes for the cold open?"
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"OK, good walk and talk."
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"in some kind of shame-based American religious tradition."
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"Can we eat this out on the roof gardens?"
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"But, seriously, since Tracy's arrival,"
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"Excuse me for a moment."
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"That's Fairfield, Connecticut, Lemon... G. E. Headquarters."
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"Actually, Frank wrote a draft of "Beep, beep, ribby, ribby.""
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