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Clips from 30 Rock - Jack the Writer (S01E01)

"Which one of your kids are you afraid of?"
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"So strong."
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"That was a jacket?"
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"Yes, she can. People like the way she dresses."
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"Come on. It's distracting. It's inappropriate."
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"- Come on. - No, Liz. Listen, listen, listen."
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"Look at me. Look how bald I am. Look at my life."
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"Please, just give me this one thing."
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"Pete, no! Come on! I'm talking to her."
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"I need you to grab me some lunch."
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"- Absolutely. What can I get for you? - I want nachos."
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"- Yes, sir. - From Yankee Stadium."
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"Yes, sir!"
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"Jenna to the set, please, for "United Nations Bloopers. ""
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"Oh, hey, Cerie. I kind of need to talk to you about something."
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"This is gonna sound really weird, but..."
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"you need to wear a bra."
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"Oh, no, I don't, actually. They kind of just stay up on their own."
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"- See? - Yeah, OK."
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"What I'm saying is, you need to wear a bra to work"
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"Oh, but I don't actually want to work in television."
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"Career-wise, I'm just gonna marry rich and then design handbags."
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"Here's the thing."
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"The way that you dress"
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"- Really? Who? - Not me."
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"I guess it's mostly me that has the problem with it."
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"- No, it's not that. - Good,"
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"because I was gonna say, you still have a good body."
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"Well, thank you, but this isn't about me."
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"I'm not married, Cerie."
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"For some reason I thought you had three kids."
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"Nope. Never married. No kids."
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"I just assumed that it was kids."
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"You know what? Forget I mentioned it. You look great."
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"Boy, we, as a group, might not smell great."
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"Come on, he's stifling us. I feel like I can't be myself around him."
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"Yeah, Tracy's downstairs now rehearsing the best thing we've written all week."
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"Beep, beep, ribby, ribby."
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"All right, I'll take care of it."
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"I was at a luncheon for Ann Coulter's 60th birthday."
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"Listen, it's been really great having you in the room these last few days..."
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"Oh, it's been great for me, too, being around all this creativity."
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"In the beginning, I thought it was gonna be a bit of a chore, honestly,"
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"- Monkey Senate. We open on the Capitol... - You can't be in here any more!"
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"- What's that? - You're driving everybody crazy,"
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"and you can just fire me now and I'll go back to teaching improv to senior citizens."
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"Six Sigma values direct and honest communication"
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"OK, well, thank you for being so understanding."
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"Absolutely."
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"I will not let you down, sir."
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"No."
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"Go get help, girl."
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"Hey, Jonathan. I left messages for Jack, but I haven't heard back."
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"- Do you know if he got them? - Mr Donaghy's been very busy."
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"Oh, well, I just really need him to approve this budget."
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"You want to know another key to success?"
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"Dress every day like you gonna get murdered in those clothes."
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"You did real good the other day with those nachos,"
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"that a man's freedom only exists when he's free to pursue his desires?"
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"Yes, I suppose I would."
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"Which means when the law conflicts with our desires,"
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"then we must operate outside the law."
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"You following me?"
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"Otherwise, we would no longer be free."
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"Hey, Liz."
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"I took your advice. I'm wearing a bra."
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"That's great, Cerie."
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"Mr Donaghy is very upset that you banned him from the writers' room."
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"But when you apologize, you have to act like it was your idea."
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"He can't know that I told you."
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"But he sent you here to tell me to apologize."
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"Exactly. I pencilled you in for 3:00."
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"This conversation never happened."
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"Jenna, set yourself, please, for "Who Wants to Eat a Dictionary?""
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"Where's Kenneth?"
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"- Who is it? - It's Kenneth from the NBC page program."
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"I'm here for a pickup from Kyang Dang."
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"Hello, gentlemen. Oh, thank goodness, air-conditioning."
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"Ooh, what does that tattoo mean?"
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"When I get nervous, I ask a lot of questions."
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"Now, do y'all rent this space, or do you own it?"
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"Hey! That's a funny-looking fish."
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"What is that... like, a grapefruit knife?"
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"Do you have a cell phone? What's your plan?"
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"This apology thing is... interesting."
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"I'm telling you, if Donaghy does this at me, I will run."
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"No, Captain Needa dies. He dies!"
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"What can I do for you? I'm on a helicopter in 15 minutes."
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"Well, sir, I just wanted to say..."
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"I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings when I asked you to stay out of the writers' room."
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"That's absurd. Completely unnecessary. I haven't given it a second thought."
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"OK, good, 'cause the writers see you as management."
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"Please, it's water under the bridge."
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"Right."
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"Of course, I can understand how you might think my feelings were hurt."
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"No one wants to hear that people don't like you."
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"What? No, that's not at all what I was saying before."
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"I never said that people don't like you. That's not true."
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"- Yes, people like you. - Do you like me?"
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"Of course. I like you, Jack."
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"Your eyes. You have those..."
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"- Very intense. - Thank you."
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"You done good, kid. That thing ever goes missing"
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"and gets into the public water system, we don't know each other."
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"- Got it. - I got one little errand for you to run."
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"Tomorrow's my anniversary, and I almost forgot about it."
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"But what did I tell you was the secret to having a good marriage"
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"and keeping it together, Kenneth?"
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"Be a good listener, a giver of gifts,"
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"and work that vajayjay."
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"That's my boy."
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"Good morning, Liz."
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"- Oh, hi, Mr Donaghy. How are you? - Fine, thank you."
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"I remember you mentioning what a big fan you are of the rapper Chamillionaire."
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"Oh, 'cause I was dancing with Frank?"
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"Well, it just so happens that he's performing this weekend at Webster Hall,"
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"and I got some V.l.P. Tickets and backstage passes."
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"You could take the writers or a friend, whatever."
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"Wow, thank you. That's very thoughtful."
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"and I'd like us to be... friendly."
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