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Clips from Family Guy - Jesus, Mary and Joseph! (S11E11)

"Peter, you want to put the star on top of the..."
Family Guy
"There it is!"
Family Guy
"on that very first Christmas."
Family Guy
"Yeah, it was probably very moving..."
Family Guy
"Jesus lived with us for, like, a week."
Family Guy
"What else do you need?"
Family Guy
"It's the greatest story ever told, Meg."
Family Guy
"A story that goes back over a hundred years."
Family Guy
"Yay, Star Wars! No, Chris."
Family Guy
"It's the story of Christmas and the Immaculate Conception."
Family Guy
"You guys were born the dirty way."
Family Guy
"Now, gather around, everybody, and hear the awe-inspiring tale"
Family Guy
"young carpenter named Joseph,"
Family Guy
"PETER: The Bible is fuzzy on that."
Family Guy
"one day when this happened..."
Family Guy
"Barely got a good-night kiss."
Family Guy
"Hey, Joseph, check it out."
Family Guy
"Oh, my God, look at that body."
Family Guy
"Uh, hi. I'm... I'm Joseph."
Family Guy
"Oh, hello. I'm Mary."
Family Guy
"You know, there's a beautiful spot outside of town"
Family Guy
"Oh, great, and maybe we could slaughter a lamb"
Family Guy
"and light it on fire so that it rains."
Family Guy
"and stare off into the fields."
Family Guy
"All right, you got a date."
Family Guy
"Wow, Joseph, that was great."
Family Guy
"Yeah, I got to say I'm a little disappointed."
Family Guy
"I thought you meant something else."
Family Guy
"But even after several dates,"
Family Guy
"Joseph couldn't get to first base."
Family Guy
"Not just because Mary was a virgin,"
Family Guy
"but because baseball would not be invented for 1,800 years"
Family Guy
"and nobody knew what the hell he was talking about."
Family Guy
"You know this is the same picnic basket we drowned my sister in."
Family Guy
"and then they were like, "Don't drown all the girls,""
Family Guy
"(sneezes)"
Family Guy
"Oh, look at that-- there's hardly any blood."
Family Guy
"Well, I try to take care of myself."
Family Guy
"Joseph, this is the most fun I've had in a while."
Family Guy
"That's good, that's good."
Family Guy
"It's completely natural."
Family Guy
"dinosaurs whom we live alongside do it."
Family Guy
"Joseph, I can't."
Family Guy
"Do you understand that? I don't."
Family Guy
"Look, you're very sweet, but I have to save myself."
Family Guy
"For who? There's only 30 people in the whole world"
Family Guy
"I can't believe how hard you're making me work."
Family Guy
"Well, I do have a very good virginity coach."
Family Guy
"No, no, no."
Family Guy
"Okay, I think I got it. How's this?"
Family Guy
"No, no, no."
Family Guy
"Look, I can't explain it,"
Family Guy
"but something is telling me to wait."
Family Guy
"Something deep, deep inside of me."
Family Guy
"Stop talking like that or I swear to God"
Family Guy
"I'm gonna Pompeii all over this blanket."
Family Guy
"(laughing): Oh, you're silly."
Family Guy
"Come on, let's just watch the show."
Family Guy
"(all shouting angrily)"
Family Guy
"Wow, she's really getting it."
Family Guy
"Yeah, I know that girl-- that's Donna Magdalene,"
Family Guy
"Yeah, yeah, right. Definitely, yeah."
Family Guy
"that girl Mary for some time now."
Family Guy
"She's pretty smoking."
Family Guy
"Aw, man, she is so hot."
Family Guy
"You know, I'm thinking of popping the question."
Family Guy
"Really? Yeah, I figure I'm 14 now,"
Family Guy
"Hail Mary, full of guys."
Family Guy
"Oh come all ye face-full."
Family Guy
"Hey, Mary, what's going on?"
Family Guy
"Listen, can you come by my house later?"
Family Guy
"Okay, bye."
Family Guy
"I know."
Family Guy
"So, what have you got going on later?"
Family Guy
"I think I might hang out in the town square."
Family Guy
"I hear an oracle from Greece is sending a funny message"
Family Guy
"and I want to be there when it arrives."
Family Guy
"I guess-- how close are the seats?"
Family Guy
"Row L-X-V-I."
Family Guy
"That sounds great."
Family Guy
"I'm pregnant."
Family Guy
"From my finger?"
Family Guy
"No, you don't understand."
Family Guy
"God has blessed me with his child."
Family Guy
"You banged Kevin God from South Nazareth?"
Family Guy
"No, no, Joseph, I mean God."
Family Guy
"I'm carrying God's baby."
Family Guy
"So you're saying God got you pregnant?"
Family Guy
"Joseph, it wasn't like that."
Family Guy
"I felt nothing."
Family Guy
"(tapping buttons)"
Family Guy
"Wait, you haven't gone yet? No."
Family Guy
"All right, kids, gather around."
Family Guy
"Time to make our yearly terrible call to Great Aunt Helen."
Family Guy
"(buttons beep)"
Family Guy
"(phone rings)"
Family Guy
"Are you still there, dear? Well, we just wanted to..."
Family Guy
"Damn it!"
Family Guy
"So, how was the... It's been rather cold."
Family Guy
"The pond froze over a family of raccoons."
Family Guy
"Are you there, dear? All right, well, Merry Christmas."
Family Guy
"Dad, can we hear more of that story about the baby Jesus?"
Family Guy
"Mary and Joseph were on their way to Bethlehem."
Family Guy
"we could probably homeschool him."
Family Guy
"I can count up to nine."
Family Guy
"that God got you pregnant."
Family Guy
"So, you guys are going to Bethlehem, huh?"
Family Guy
"(electrical whirring)"
Family Guy
"three wise men were preparing for a journey of their own."
Family Guy
"CHRIS: I did."
Family Guy
"Hey, you guys, this says a King of Kings"
Family Guy
"and we are to go and pay tribute."
Family Guy
"This says, "Three Magi or Resident.""
Family Guy
"Yeah, I don't want to go, either."
Family Guy
"(canned laughter)"
Family Guy
"Wow, I can't believe we're ready here."
Family Guy
"Yeah, it's amazing how small the world is now"
Family Guy
"You're anywhere, just like that."
Family Guy
"You can really tell we're in the big city now."
Family Guy
"They even got movies."
Family Guy
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