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Clips from The Simpsons - Lisa on Ice (S06E06)

"It's Channel 6 Action News."
The Simpsons
"The last place an impressionable kid can go for TV violence."
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"As of now, the death count is zero. But it is ready to shoot right up."
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"All right! Snow day! No school tomorrow!"
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"That doesn't mean no book report. What if the weatherman is wrong?"
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"I made the snowball from the frost in our freezer."
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"I'm saved! I love being a Simpson."
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"All students proceed immediately to an assembly..."
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"So I've come up with these academic alerts!"
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"Your parents won't have to wait until report cards to punish you."
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"Bah!"
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"All right, first academic alert: Wiggum, Ralph."
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"I won! I won!"
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"No. No, Ralph. This means you're failing English."
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"Simpson..."
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"I really hope you try harder."
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"Well, I could use a new pair of hockey skates."
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"Why is Bart getting a present, and I'm getting chewed out?"
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"Ah, the mysteries of life."
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"Tell you what, Simpson."
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"I won't fail you if you join one of those Pee Wee teams outside the school."
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"Children, that was our only ball. There'll be no team this year."
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"I think Lisa needs to feel a little special tonight."
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"Okay, son. Just remember to have fun out there today."
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"Our goalie cannot stand up."
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"Oh, yes, we won! We won! We won!"
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"Unfortunately, since I bet on the other team..."
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"...we won't be going for pizza."
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"Here's your turtle, alive and well."
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"The goalie of my dreams!"
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"Such as hot oil wrestling, foxy boxing and such and such."
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"But hockey is so violent and dangerous. Look at Milhouse's teeth."
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"Stop the inauguration! I just discovered our president-elect..."
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"No."
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"I don't want anyone to give her a hard time just because she's different."
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"No jokes, no taunting..."
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"Look! That kid's got bosoms! Who's got a wet towel?"
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"Come here, you butterball."
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"...laughing at poor Lisa while she's probably scared to death."
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"We're laughing with her, Marge. There's a big difference."
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"With her."
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"Sucker! Competitive violence, that's why you're here!"
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"And I would like to say that it is because of teamwork."
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"Hey, Bart. If Lisa's better than you at hockey..."
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"...does that mean you're gonna become better than her at school?"
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"Who can tell me the capital of Spain? Bart Simpson."
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"It's a lucky coincidence you happen to be your sister's brother."
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"Don't worry, Bart. They won't bother you anymore."
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"Oh, sorry, Bart. Lisa and I are going out for gelato."
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"Don't have a stereotypical view of me just because I'm your mother."
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"I told you to watch out."
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"I love you."
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"Bart! What are you doing in my room?"
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"Lisa, certain differences, rivalries if you will, have come up between us."
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"Bart, that was your cherished childhood toy."
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"- It's a free country. You get out. - That doesn't make sense."
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"Get out! Get out!"
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"Now, Homer, don't you eat this pie."
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"Okay."
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"Stop it! Stop it, stop it, stop it! Stop it!"
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"I don't care who started it! I don't want to see you..."
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"You're in direct competition!"
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"I'm gonna let you out to see my team play the game..."
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"You can see the game, you don't have to come back..."
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"- No. - I'll take that as a yes."
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"Hey!"
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"Pass ketchup."
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"I won't have any aggressive condiment-passing in this house."
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"What? What? A bartender can't come by and say hi to his best customer?"
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"But Blanche, you gotta help me out here! Please! I'm 64 grand in the hole!"
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"Good luck tonight, sis. I'll try not to hurt you!"
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"Now that we're all alone, Marge, admit it."
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"I demand vengeance! I want vengeance!"
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"It's your child versus mine! The winner will be showered with praise!"
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"The loser will be taunted and booed until my throat is sore!"
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"Stop him dead, little girl!"
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"Great game, Lis."
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"- Tie game?! - What the hell?!"
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"Oh, I've never been so proud of them."
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"If only they had had Pee Wee hockey when I was a lad."
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"A tremendous explosion in the price of lumber."
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"But first let's check the death count from the killer storm..."
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"...bearing down on us like a shotgun full of snow."
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"Oh, my God! Damn you, snow!"
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"Lisa, that man is a professional meteorologist."
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"Kent, I'd like to remind everybody to come down and watch me..."
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"...at the Springfield Laugh and Brew and Burgers and Fries on Saturday."
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"The forecast calls for a 75%/% chance of hilarity."
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"I like those odds."
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"You're gonna eat a blizzard of..."
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"...unseasonable warmth?"
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"Nice P.J. S, Simpson."
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"Did your mommy buy them for you?"
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"Of course she did. Who else would have?"
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"All right, Simpson. You win this round."
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"Okay, it's book report time."
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"We'll do them alphabetically. Today it's A through M."
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"So let's go right to the B's. Bart."
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"Mrs. Krabappel..."
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"...I didn't..."
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"Attention. This is Principal Skinner..."
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"...your principal, with a message from the principal's office."
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"...in the Butthead Memorial Auditorium."
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"Test scores are at an all-time low."
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"How innovative. I like it."
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"Hey, Dolph, take a memo on your Newton: Beat up Martin."
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"Muntz, Nelson. You're failing history, geography and math."
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"...Lisa."
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"Grades are all I have. What could I be failing?"
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"I'm smart and a teacher's pet."
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"Gym?! That's the stupidest thing I ever heard!"
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"Lisa, your father and I are very concerned about this warning."
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"That's all of them. And I'm so proud you didn't try to forge my name."
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"How about a present, son?"
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"You mean, where parents push kids into vicious competition..."
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"...to compensate for their own failed dreams of glory?"
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"Look, I don't need this."
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"I inhaled my favorite whistle this morning."
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"Mom, this is really scary. I'm gonna get my first F ever."
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"Cheer up. So you're not good at sports. It's a very small part of life."
The Simpsons
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