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Clips from The Good Place - ...Someone Like Me as a Member (S01E01)

"Because you're the only person here that's nice to me."
The Good Place
"Okay."
The Good Place
"Anyone up for a little, uh, icebreaker?"
The Good Place
"You know, I once did trust falls with Barry Diller,"
The Good Place
"And then, once we trust each other, then we can discuss"
The Good Place
"This sucks. How do you guys eat without listening to hard-core porn?"
The Good Place
"Oh, come on, this is The Good Place, you can do anything you want."
The Good Place
"What about throwing a rager and totally trashing this place?"
The Good Place
"Woo-hoo. Yeah, I'd be into that."
The Good Place
"We could totally go to town."
The Good Place
"You know, I actually don't think that's such a good idea."
The Good Place
"Let's party!"
The Good Place
"♪ Who let the dogs out? ♪"
The Good Place
"♪ Who let the dogs out? Who, who, who who ♪"
The Good Place
"So, um, Chidi tells me that he's teaching you about ethics."
The Good Place
"Yeah, actually, we've had some interesting"
The Good Place
"- and Socrates, Immanuel Kant-- - Yeah, cool, shut up."
The Good Place
"Let's cut to the chase here. You two go to Poundtown?"
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"Poundtown, bro. You two bang it out?"
The Good Place
"She hot for teach? Did you pork the dork?"
The Good Place
"C'mon, girl, dish me dem dirty deets."
The Good Place
"I assure you, our relationship was "teacher-student," nothing more."
The Good Place
"Chidi, you don't have to explain anything to me."
The Good Place
"Whatever happened before I arrived is none of my business."
The Good Place
"Hey, I'd love to see the rest of the neighborhood."
The Good Place
"Um, yes, it's incredible."
The Good Place
"There's an amazing library,"
The Good Place
"there's a beautiful, piranha-free lake."
The Good Place
"Well, please, show me everything."
The Good Place
"You ready, Eleanor?"
The Good Place
"I've seen it all already. You guys go ahead."
The Good Place
"You'd rather be alone with him?"
The Good Place
"Fire in the hole. Watch your heads, ladies."
The Good Place
"Yeah, I mean, I don't need to walk around and nerd out about old books. I'm good."
The Good Place
"Hey, a bunch of us are gonna go see Spider-Man 2 tonight."
The Good Place
"Do you want to come?"
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"They made a second Spider-Man?"
The Good Place
"Sure, whatever, I'm in."
The Good Place
"for the eight of us, and you can just pay me back in cash."
The Good Place
"So, you can get all the points on your credit card,"
The Good Place
"and the rest of us get screwed?"
The Good Place
"- No way. - No, it's just so"
The Good Place
"we can all get tickets before they sell out."
The Good Place
"Do you want to buy them?"
The Good Place
"So you guys can never pay me back, and I'll be out like 80 bucks? Nice try."
The Good Place
"I'll buy my own ticket."
The Good Place
"The rest of the group can do whatever they want."
The Good Place
"Where did she end up?"
The Good Place
"Bought it with points, baby. My points."
The Good Place
"I think I need to find a new place to live."
The Good Place
"Don't... Don't..."
The Good Place
"All right."
The Good Place
"Want a bump?"
The Good Place
"No, thank you, I don't use cocaine."
The Good Place
"Oh, it's not cocaine, idiot. We're snorting time."
The Good Place
"Yo, monk dude, you know how to tap a keg?"
The Good Place
"- Karaoke time! - Whoo!"
The Good Place
"Dana, baby, what do you wanna do?"
The Good Place
"Okay, Mussolini's speech? Ooh, the Mel Gibson rant?"
The Good Place
"Ooh! Let's do the Nixon tapes."
The Good Place
"- That's my jam! - Yeah!"
The Good Place
""What you always have to remember about the Irish is they get mean."
The Good Place
""Virtually every Irish I've known gets mean when he drinks.""
The Good Place
"Michael, tell them to stop."
The Good Place
"- Hey, idiot. Dance. - You got it."
The Good Place
""Oh, it's about damn time that the Jew in America realizes"
The Good Place
"he's an American first and a Jew second.""
The Good Place
"I lighted him on fire, and he never spoke again."
The Good Place
"You know, maybe I'm not as great as Real Eleanor,"
The Good Place
"but I'm better than I used to be."
The Good Place
"I'm medium-good."
The Good Place
"Why haven't you forkers invented a medium place?"
The Good Place
"Look, I know you've been trying to become a "better person,""
The Good Place
"But, I read your file... You don't belong here."
The Good Place
"I mean, she spent her weekends breaking up dog fighting rings."
The Good Place
"You once saw a meter maid writing you a ticket,"
The Good Place
"and you barked like a dog till she ran away."
The Good Place
"I mean, honestly, you'll be happier in The Bad Place."
The Good Place
"I mean, don't get me wrong, you'll be miserable."
The Good Place
"We will torture you, but you'll also be happier."
The Good Place
"Because you won't have to keep trying to fit in somewhere"
The Good Place
"you just don't belong."
The Good Place
"Let's go."
The Good Place
"Okay, hold on, I have to ask, is this thing gonna happen?"
The Good Place
"- You and me? - Ew, no, gross."
The Good Place
"Okay, you know I had to ask, babe."
The Good Place
"I will obviously clean all of this up."
The Good Place
"I don't care about the house, Michael."
The Good Place
"I'm just upset that you let them walk all over you."
The Good Place
"I know... They're the only thing in the Universe that scares me."
The Good Place
"I just have to be... More accommodating."
The Good Place
"and then they'll have to respect me."
The Good Place
"I'm going to tell you the same thing that I told"
The Good Place
"Mark Zuckerberg right before he ousted Eduardo Saverin."
The Good Place
"You are smart, you are capable, and the time has come to hit "unfriend.""
The Good Place
"I also told Mark to lose the "the". Just "Facebook.""
The Good Place
"That was me."
The Good Place
"Oh!"
The Good Place
"Oh, my head."
The Good Place
"Here, drink this."
The Good Place
"Well, The Bad Place Crew requested that the hangover filter be turned off."
The Good Place
"They like them."
The Good Place
"So, Michael said we're meeting at Tahani's place in an hour"
The Good Place
"You don't have to come, man. I'm good."
The Good Place
"Just hang out with Real Eleanor and name constellations"
The Good Place
"after each other, or whatever it is nerds do."
The Good Place
"I'm fine on my own."
The Good Place
"Yeah, Eleanor, just because we have a new guest in the house"
The Good Place
"doesn't mean I'm not still gonna be there for you."
The Good Place
"I'm in this. We're a team."
The Good Place
"So, you've been temping for us for a year now,"
The Good Place
"We think you'd be a great addition to the team."
The Good Place
"Yeah... No. I'm good."
The Good Place
"You're turning it down?"
The Good Place
"I just don't think I'm really one of you guys."
The Good Place
"You're all obsessed with this place, man."
The Good Place
"I know. It's weird."
The Good Place
"If this is how you really feel, I think I have to fire you."
The Good Place
"Severance pay. Love it."
The Good Place
"Peace!"
The Good Place
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