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Clips from Parks and Recreation (2009) - William Henry Harrison (S07E07)

"You see, I'm a ninth level Octopriest"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"historical significance."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Indiana brown ants in that forest."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"At that rate, they'll all be gone by the year 2030."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"That doesn't seem like an immediate crisis."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and sexy cartoon characters."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- I call it Disneyland. - How did you get in here?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Oh, hey, guys. Come on in."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"You guys, I am Roscoe."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"and just kick back."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"to try to sexy-up her presentation."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"so a local celebrity is gonna make everyone"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"to frack your braniums."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I have no interest in consorting with celebrities."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"through the door of my meat shed."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- I don't like depths. - Mm."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Let's play a game. Okay?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"You say a word, I say a word. We see if it makes a profession."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Hey, Leslie?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"That's him, officer. Ronald Swanson."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"And all signatures need to be notarized, and I really don't"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"want to have to schedule two different notary appointments."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"No, I'm not."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Bloosh just won the Pulitzer Prize for Best Top Ten Listicle"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"because he was the first governor"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"caught a bad cold and died 32 days later."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"on the very land you're trying to acquire."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Okay. Show me this incredible lodge."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"It raises a lot of red flags if you--"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"the land for preservation."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"after these two minutes of insanity."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Toddler cologne."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Here we are, like, "Here's the place where I buried the map"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"awesome hunting cabin?""
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I need to gather everything I can on William Henry Harrison."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"No, I'm sorry, but there's a page missing from the document"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"This room is called"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Okay, guys, this is so great."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Why, was there something inside this stupid ball?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Ooh, like a giant hamster?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Right down to the unisex linen tunics."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"by...asymmetrical overalls,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"angora toothbrushes, and locally sourced"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Now try the hottest new craze...beef milk."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"in living cows."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"It's fucking milk."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Yeah, and there's a wait list."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"nor yours with her."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Oh, getting ready for a big press conference."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"So she's found something to strengthen her bid."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Ms. Porter, no need to discuss any further."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Smashing."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Great. There you go."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I just wanted to say that I really like your museum."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"It's weird and sad and unnecessary."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Is there, like, a museum curator position I could apply for?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Accepted only at that vending machine."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"But, hey, hey, listen."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"About what?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Been more like heaven for me. I mean, what a day."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- What's Ron up to? - Okay, I am not--"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"to me in marriage."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- Sucker. - Okay, fine."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"in the area?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"One--a distant nephew named Zack Harrison."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"our counselor, and he fell asleep and got a boner."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"to ancient Rome."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- Oh. - Mm-hmm."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- All right. - Ben, it's fun."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I made a list of everything that I know you like."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Playing with our dog, staring contests,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"What do all the things on that list have in common?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I just happen to be a descendant of a guy."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"You could be the descendant of George Washington."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"that we shared very similar jaw lines."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I need this to be very impressive."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- Just walk, walk, walk. - I don't--"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Zack. Camp Wamapo, you got a boner."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"What are you doing here?"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Setting up for our press conference,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"- Do you want me to bite him? - No."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Leslie's press conference."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"that we've discovered a new chapter in the life"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"The point is, William Henry Harrison"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"would have wanted this land preserved as a national park."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Zachary, what is it like being a descendant"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Uh, Harrison's a pretty common last name."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"And his campaign rolls this giant tin and paper ball"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"from town to town, while Americans everywhere sing along."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Hit it, gang."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"♪ It is the ball a-Rolling on ♪"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"♪ Tippecanoe and Tyler too... ♪"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"That's who."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Wow, that was cool."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Said some boring idiot from 200 years ago."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"The Newport land will become the Midwest headquarters"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"The Somebody's Daughter Dancers."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"That was sickening. All flash and no substance."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Okay, I'm not signing anything he's signing."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Well, I have had just about enough"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"of your stubborn behavior."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"you have been completely unreasonable."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"You've been unreasonable way before Morningstar."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"And I am never gonna change my mind on that,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"no matter what anybody says!"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"And I will need your thumbprints."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"That feud's like Biggie-Tupac level."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Maybe even Morgan Freeman- Shailene Woodley level."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Nah, it's bad, but it's not that bad."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Leslie and Ron stuffed animals to make them calm down."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"But please, come to a neutral site and sit with Ron"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Ugh."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"I'll let you rename the triplets"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Okay, fine. But I get to sign first."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"until you've made peace."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"And I left a rusty hacksaw on the table,"
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"so the first person who hacks their face off gets release."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Guys, this is insane, okay? Let us out."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Be a man, and get your house in order."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
"Terry, look at me."
Parks and Recreation (2009)
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