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Clips from Family Guy - And the Wiener Is... (S03E03)

"You want to go feed the science club after school?"
Family Guy
"Look at me."
Family Guy
"Look at me, I'm smoking. Dog, dog, look, look..."
Family Guy
"Alcohol doesn't really make you warmer. It constricts the blood vessels..."
Family Guy
"- Shut up. - The dog just told me to shut up."
Family Guy
"I demand to know what you plan to do about this. Hey!"
Family Guy
"- Hey! The dog just told me... - Be quiet, Stewie."
Family Guy
"- Freezing my nips off out here. - Oh, look, there's Meg."
Family Guy
"- Hi, Meg. - Hi, Meg."
Family Guy
"- Isn't she beautiful? - Yeah, but I think she's with that guy."
Family Guy
"Oh. Oh, yeah. Yeah, she's hot."
Family Guy
"- Oh! This meat stinks something fierce! - This'll knock her down a couple notches."
Family Guy
"Yea, Meg! Oh, man, I love how these kids celebrate these days!"
Family Guy
"- Come on, ref. That's charging. - Your feet were moving. No foul."
Family Guy
"No foul?! Oh, that's a stupid call! And I know something about stupid calls."
Family Guy
"I can't take out the garbage. I'm at the office and they're making me stay late."
Family Guy
"Caller ID says you're calling from the kitchen."
Family Guy
"- No. - Now I'm at the office."
Family Guy
"Score's tied, next basket wins. You might finally beat your old man."
Family Guy
"What do you got? What do you got? Huh? Come on!"
Family Guy
"Yes! Yes! Oh, no, we worked it out."
Family Guy
"Yes!"
Family Guy
"- Yeah, I don't think I'll ever beat you. - Hey, Chris, what's with your leg?"
Family Guy
"Oh, my God! That's not your leg!"
Family Guy
"I try to make love to you and you think about Chris."
Family Guy
"- Is there something you need to tell me? - Thanks to you, our son has a huge wang."
Family Guy
"- Thanks to me? - He didn't get it from me."
Family Guy
"- What are you talking about? - I'll show you."
Family Guy
"How did this happen? I'm supposed to be the man of the house."
Family Guy
"- You must be ashamed of me. - Oh, Peter."
Family Guy
"I care as much about the size of your penis as you care about the size of my breasts."
Family Guy
"Oh, my God!"
Family Guy
"- Dad, could you help me with my algebra? - You're a big man. You figure it out."
Family Guy
"I bet there's a part of you that wants to be friends with them."
Family Guy
"- Maybe. - So be nice to them."
Family Guy
"Win your enemies over with unflappable kindness."
Family Guy
"- Chris, drink your milk. It'll make you big. - No! No more milk for him."
Family Guy
"Megan, you must try the brisket. I'll serve it in the manner to which you're accustomed."
Family Guy
"Oh!"
Family Guy
"Come talk to me sometime, sweetheart. I know what it takes to be cool."
Family Guy
"Oh, yeah. That's the good stuff."
Family Guy
"- Hi, you guys. - God, it's her."
Family Guy
"You guys want tomorrow's biology test?"
Family Guy
"- Whoa! How'd you get that? - I spent the night with Mr Burler."
Family Guy
"Ah, the sun's up. I'm safe for another night. Thanks, Meg."
Family Guy
"- Wow, thanks! - See ya."
Family Guy
"Wanna go push the janitor, knowing he can't legally push us back?"
Family Guy
"- Sure! - OK, cool. Let's go do it."
Family Guy
"Hey, Dad. Look at these little bananas."
Family Guy
"Why, you smug little bastard!"
Family Guy
"Peter! Chris, these are plantains. And there's nothing wrong with them."
Family Guy
"In fact, a lot of women prefer them to normal-size bananas,"
Family Guy
"because they're exotic and flavourful and very, very special."
Family Guy
"Sure, all the sorority girls are clamouring for the plantain section. Stop with this!"
Family Guy
"You're overreacting to this Chris stuff."
Family Guy
"I mean, mine goes inside me when I stand up. How do you think I feel?"
Family Guy
"- Is Dad mad at me? - Oh, of course not, honey."
Family Guy
"Go pick out a box of cereal and meet me at the ten-inches-or-less line. Items!"
Family Guy
"Nice, huh? Huh? Yeah. You like this?"
Family Guy
"Stop it, Peter. You're embarrassing me. Look, I know you're upset, but..."
Family Guy
"- Oh, my God. Where's Stewie? - He's around."
Family Guy
"Let me out of this stink-filled corduroy dungeon!"
Family Guy
"- Peter, that's sick! - It's OK. He's outside the underwear."
Family Guy
"- Enjoy your new car, Mr Griffin. - Thanks, Jim."
Family Guy
"When you pull that thing into your garage, does the garage say "Is it in yet?""
Family Guy
"Don't worry, baby. I'll be gentle."
Family Guy
"Ow. My pride."
Family Guy
"You were right. I was nice to the cool kids and they didn't spit on me."
Family Guy
"Connie Demico even invited me to her sweet 16."
Family Guy
"Wonderful! What time do we nail those snot-nosed punks?!"
Family Guy
"Nail them? You told me to win them over with kindness."
Family Guy
"Yes. Now that they think you're their friend, it's the perfect time to exact your revenge."
Family Guy
"Revenge?"
Family Guy
"Beautiful to look at, but mess with one of my chicks"
Family Guy
"- Who wants chocolate-chip? - I do!"
Family Guy
"But keep talking. All this stuff about eye-gouging has gotten me all frisky."
Family Guy
"Really. I've got about half a pack of Rolaids in my diaper."
Family Guy
"Let me show you around. This is our shooting range."
Family Guy
"Holy crap! They're all so... small!"
Family Guy
"You see, Peter, the way we look at it, a man's only as big as the gun he carries."
Family Guy
"Sign me up, and get me the biggest freakin' gun you got!"
Family Guy
"- Stewie, you can come out now. - Turn off the light. I'm reading a ghost story."
Family Guy
"Pull!"
Family Guy
"Oh, yeah. Who's the big man now, huh?"
Family Guy
"- Madonna or Janet Jackson? - Which Janet?"
Family Guy
"- What the hell are you doing with that? - You want to touch it? Go on."
Family Guy
"Careful. We don't want it to get too excited and go off in your hand."
Family Guy
"This is pathetic. All because you feel inadequate next to Chris."
Family Guy
"Don't be stupid. I don't need to compete with my son or his freakishly large penis."
Family Guy
"- I'm a freak. - Don't despair."
Family Guy
"Let's hang a tyre on the end of it and head on down to the ol' swimming hole."
Family Guy
"Connie Demico's house is two storeys. If we set up booby traps here, here..."
Family Guy
"- How'd you get these blueprints? - Oh, your mother has her ways."
Family Guy
"She has her ways."
Family Guy
"- Can I have those blueprints? - Sure, here you go."
Family Guy
"Now I've put together a little flash bomb to create a diversion."
Family Guy
"I used to date the pyro guy from Whitesnake."
Family Guy
"What's Whitesnake?"
Family Guy
"That's the music mommies and daddies listen to. Fire in the hole!"
Family Guy
"Some guys from the club are going hunting tomorrow."
Family Guy
"- You were gonna play hockey with Chris. - Bring him along."
Family Guy
"The National Gun Association is all about safety, especially when it comes to kids."
Family Guy
"Take a look at our new video."
Family Guy
"Let's face it, your kids will get into your guns. That's a fact."
Family Guy
"Gun accidents can be avoided by introducing your children to guns early."
Family Guy
"Hi! I'm Petey the pistol. Say, do you ever get lonely?"
Family Guy
"If you squeeze me, I make bad people go away."
Family Guy
"But wait a minute. I thought guns were bad."
Family Guy
"False! Guns are good."
Family Guy
"In fact, did you know that Jesus and Moses used guns to conquer the Romans?"
Family Guy
"So remember: Guns don't kill people, dangerous minorities do."
Family Guy
"Hey. Hey, check it out, Chris. I can write my name in the snow."
Family Guy
"- This is fun, Dad. - Son, son, I told you."
Family Guy
"Out here in the wilderness, call me Rooster Cogburn."
Family Guy
"I was starting to think you didn't like me any more."
Family Guy
"Shh. Chris, look! Tracks. There must be a deer around here."
Family Guy
"- Those are snowmobile tracks. - Shh! There he is."
Family Guy
"Such grace. That's the thing about hunting - you gotta be patient."
Family Guy
"Put this in the heating grate and set it off in five minutes."
Family Guy
"Did you forget the neighbour kids chased you and sprinkled you with fixings?"
Family Guy
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