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Clips from South Park - Mysterion Rises (S14E14)

"I am Mysterion."
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"For months now, I have been protecting my town from crime."
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"But they drilled again, and tore open a portal into another dimension."
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"And all will know who and what I truly am."
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"They call themselves Coon and friends, and they've been baking"
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"Mysterion."
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"Mint Berrrrry Kerr-runch!"
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"Mysterion, if Cartman's gone,"
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"Unfortunately, we've just been informed that the dark lord"
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"we will be delayed at least another hour."
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"I saw on tv!"
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"That super hero group that's helping with the Gulf spill!"
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"I work on my own now."
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"Do you know Mintberry Crunch?"
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"What's he like?"
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"Well then!"
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"Timmy!"
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"You'll never stop him, you know."
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"Stop who?"
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"The darkness of the mythos is finally here!"
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"The Necronomicon?"
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"I don't know."
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"Not Cartman."
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"Whoever did this to our base was looking for something."
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"Oh dude! It's Captain Hindsight."
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"Captain Hindsight!"
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"Where are the pictures?"
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"P-please, sir, we don't know what you mean!"
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"Please, sir. Put down the gun."
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"No."
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"What if I put down the gun and then realize I shouldn't have?"
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"We can just go home."
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"No!"
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"Because I could realize I should have killed you all!"
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"Then do it!"
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"I said it's fine, just go!"
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"Uh, text me later, Kenny,"
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"Cthulhu!"
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"Hey Cthulhu."
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"Sup?"
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"I know how it feels to want to take over and rule the earth and"
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"Where are you going?"
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"People need you, Hindsight."
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"Without you, they feel helpless and stupid."
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"Let me tell you something about curses, butt licker."
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"Because there are some super powers that make yours look like nothing."
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"What... what is your power?"
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"I wake up in my bed, wearing my same old clothes."
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"You wanna whine about curses, Hindsight?"
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"You're talking to the wrong fucking cowboy."
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"And now, a special announcement from the president of BP and DP."
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"And as head of the oil company responsible, I would like to say..."
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"Should I admit we've made mistakes?"
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"Should I forget about the past and not care about my powers?"
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"Maybe I should just disappear."
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"Should I not have listened to my technicians who said a spill wouldn't happen?"
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"I'm gonna keep being a fucking dick."
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"Here we go!"
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"Uh, you okay, Mysterion?"
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"Ten arrested in South Park for cultist activity."
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"Uh, what?"
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"Clyde, do you hear me?"
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"Nag nag nag. Bzzzzttt!"
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"To get what it wants, sometimes a Coon must be on the attack and vicious!"
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"But sometimes, a Coon must be cuddly and cute."
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"Cthulhu."
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"You're hogging it all, asshole."
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"It's that mystery kid again!"
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"What the hell do you want this time?"
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"We treat our kids better and we don't beat each other up as much!"
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"What happened at those meetings?"
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"Trust us, we don't remember."
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"Where they always did."
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"Did that really just happen?"
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"I don't think so."
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"The old one told reporters in a statement released this morning"
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"Ladies and gentlemen, today we are pleased to announce the"
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"successful merger of Cthulhu and the Coon."
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"bring change and fight injustice, as the all new Coon and friends."
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"Well, I guess we have the right to banish them to a dark oblivion, don't we?"
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"Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu r'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn."
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"There's Mr. Adler from shop class."
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"Cthulhu is gonna squash all the happy-go-lucky conformists."
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"Yeah. I just hope he puts an end to the fucking Disney channel."
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"Dude, why would the goth kids worship Cthulhu?"
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"Unrelenting despair and a thousand years of darkness sounds pretty goth."
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"In strange aeons even death may die."
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"Could it be a riddle, Mysterion?"
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"And still, there is no sign of Captain Hindsight."
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"all, went back to his chair, and removed all his powers."
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"Yeah, so go back home and put your underwear back on the"
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"inside of your pants, poser."
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"Nobody is stopping Cthulhu now!"
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"Life will become death and I will watch the crimson blood leak from your neck!"
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"Give us a hand."
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"We're dark lord minions now, wuss."
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"Ugh, what-evs."
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"Cuu-talu-ca-tuulu"
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"-Yeah fuck all you!-"
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"Sharing adventures and smiiiiles"
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"Making the world a better plaaaaaaace"
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"Sending all of my stupid friends to oblllllliiiiiivvvvion!"
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"Zzzzzzztt!"
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"Tupperware!"
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"Timmy."
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"Human Kite!"
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"You bastards!"
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"Dude, Kenny! What'dya run away for?"
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"Though only nine years old, I dedicate my life to helping"
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"people, when I am not in school."
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"But now, something has happened which even I cannot fight alone."
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"The BP oil company has drilled and caused a spill in the Gulf like no other."
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"The president of BP apologized."
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"We're sorry."
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"Creatures from that dimension are now wreaking havoc in the Gulf."
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"BP tried to solve the problem by drilling on the moon."
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"Sorry."
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"neighborhood to help save the Gulf."
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"A power they will now begin to understand."
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"Just terrific what you boys are doing."
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