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Clips from Orville - Command Performance (S01E01)

"It's me, yeah."
Orville
"- He just heard you, Dad. - Hi."
Orville
"Eddie, how's your stomach? Is it still bothering you?"
Orville
"I-I will. I will get it."
Orville
"Do you understand me? Because if you get the divert..."
Orville
"- Man, what is that? - Diverticulitis."
Orville
"What is it you got stuck in there?"
Orville
"A sesame seed."
Orville
"- A sesame seed in his colon! - In the colon."
Orville
"Yeah. It-It just gets stuck in there,"
Orville
"because there are folds, you know?"
Orville
"Yeah."
Orville
"And it burrows in there for the winter,"
Orville
"- and you got yourself an inflammation. - Oh, God."
Orville
"Hey, you know what, guys?"
Orville
"We're just gonna come over there, okay? How does that...?"
Orville
"Right, Kel? You haven't seen Mom and Dad in a while..."
Orville
"I haven't seen them in ages, yes."
Orville
"- Great! - Yeah."
Orville
"Much better if we go down there and help out."
Orville
"Great, much better, great."
Orville
"So we'll see you in a bit, okay?"
Orville
"- Alara, you have the conn. - Aye."
Orville
"Wait, what?"
Orville
"Well, what about Bortus?"
Orville
"That makes you the ranking bridge officer."
Orville
"Wait,"
Orville
"this is your first time in command."
Orville
"Yeah, so maybe someone else should..."
Orville
"You wouldn't be allowed to wear that uniform"
Orville
"We trust you."
Orville
"Yeah."
Orville
"Okay."
Orville
"- Okay. - Okay."
Orville
"Oh, hey, uh, sorry about my parents, everyone."
Orville
"They're, um..."
Orville
"My colon is fine, by the way, there's..."
Orville
"Yeah."
Orville
"Your mother hates me."
Orville
"- She does not hate you. - Oh, yes, she does."
Orville
"You can tell me, you know."
Orville
"I mean, we never talked about it."
Orville
"- What'd she say about me? - It's nothing too terrible."
Orville
"- You can tell me. Just be honest. - It wasn't that bad."
Orville
"46 times in one sitting."
Orville
"But, look, Kel, it doesn't matter. You know?"
Orville
"That's the past... you and I were a lousy match, movin' on."
Orville
"Maybe. We never really got the chance to find out."
Orville
"Well, that's what happens when you let a blue alien bone you"
Orville
"while your husband's at work, isn't it?"
Orville
"Don't be a jerk."
Orville
"In no way am I trying to be a jerk."
Orville
"Honestly, Kel, most guys would hold a grudge"
Orville
"I really do. In fact, you know what?"
Orville
"Look, all I'm saying is that if you hadn't been so absent,"
Orville
"maybe it could've worked."
Orville
"What are you doing?"
Orville
"One cannabis edible."
Orville
"Oh, my God. Seriously?"
Orville
"You're kidding with that, right?"
Orville
"Just in case."
Orville
"What the hell?"
Orville
"Scanners show no sign of the ship."
Orville
"of some kind."
Orville
"- What about the boarding party? - Searching."
Orville
"Scans show no life signs."
Orville
"I don't understand, how can they just be gone?"
Orville
"I'm checking right now."
Orville
"There's-There's nothing out there."
Orville
"Not a damn thing."
Orville
"Is it not customary to request permission"
Orville
"before entering someone else's quarters?"
Orville
"- It is... - I am brooding my egg."
Orville
"but the captain and the first officer are gone!"
Orville
"Gone? Where?"
Orville
"We don't know."
Orville
"We got a distress call from a transport ship,"
Orville
"Who is in command?"
Orville
"I am."
Orville
"Then, if they are alive, you must find them."
Orville
"Sir, if you could just come back to the bridge."
Orville
"The captain never would have left me in command"
Orville
"I cannot leave my egg."
Orville
"For 21 days."
Orville
"I am sorry, Lieutenant."
Orville
"I will not risk the life of my child."
Orville
"You must remain in command."
Orville
"One shot of Xelayan tequila."
Orville
"Okay."
Orville
"You're okay. You're fine."
Orville
"You gonna throw up? You gonna throw up?"
Orville
"No. You're all right."
Orville
"Lieutenant, you all right?"
Orville
"Yes! Yes, yes, I'm fine, Ensign..."
Orville
"- Parker. - Parker. Ensign Parker."
Orville
"Sweet. Go away now."
Orville
"Isaac, any sign of the boarding party?"
Orville
"Negative, sir. Status unchanged."
Orville
"Sir, there's nobody over there"
Orville
"but I can bring it over by remote guidance, on your order."
Orville
"Is... is the order given?"
Orville
"And good job..."
Orville
"Sir?"
Orville
"Doctor. Hi."
Orville
"No, nothing yet."
Orville
"What's next?"
Orville
"we should"
Orville
"and bring it into the shuttle bay to examine it for clues."
Orville
"Lieutenant Lamarr, do you want to say something?"
Orville
"Good. Lock onto the buoy."
Orville
"Sir, I would advise against that course of action."
Orville
"We are not familiar with its defense mechanisms."
Orville
"It's our only chance to find our people."
Orville
"Aye, sir."
Orville
"Locked on and pulling her in."
Orville
"Bridge to shuttle bay."
Orville
"Sir, I'm reading an energy buildup within the buoy's core."
Orville
"Can you identify it?"
Orville
"All sections reporting."
Orville
"Structural damage is extensive, injuries are numerous."
Orville
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