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Clips from Orville - Command Performance (S01E01)

"Kaylon is comparable in that area to the Calivon themselves,"
Orville
"as long as he's with us."
Orville
"White dude can go to Compton"
Orville
"long as the black guy says it's cool."
Orville
"Everybody ready?"
Orville
"They are scanning us."
Orville
"I am detecting two human life signs"
Orville
"on the planet's surface."
Orville
"Son of a bitch."
Orville
"You know, you should try eating in the morning"
Orville
"Well, you're not Franken Berry, so shut up."
Orville
"Living together. All the things that sucked about it."
Orville
"Yes! This is exactly what I was saying on the shuttle."
Orville
"Well, great, finally some common ground."
Orville
"- Thank God. - Captain."
Orville
"Getting you out."
Orville
"- but, honestly, we have no idea. - It would be reasonable"
Orville
"There is a matter I wish to discuss with you."
Orville
"I've already got one."
Orville
"The visitors are loving them."
Orville
"I must inform you they are the property of another zoo,"
Orville
"I'm afraid they were in the midst of treatment"
Orville
"one that could infect"
Orville
"Initialize euthanasia sweep"
Orville
"Uh, Kel?"
Orville
"What's going...?"
Orville
"avoid any epidemics among the exhibits."
Orville
"Don't worry,"
Orville
"Oh!"
Orville
"Okay."
Orville
"something that would be"
Orville
"I'm going to the bathroom to read!"
Orville
"What the hell was that?"
Orville
"It was all I could think of."
Orville
"And for outstanding courage, valor,"
Orville
"I hereby present you, Lieutenant Alara Kitan,"
Orville
"what it is you gave the Calivon."
Orville
"I am paying attention."
Orville
"You stupid bitch!"
Orville
", huh?"
Orville
"Keeping Up with the Kardashians."
Orville
"Klyden."
Orville
"Come in."
Orville
"I apologize for intruding upon your work."
Orville
"Oh, no, it's fine."
Orville
"What is that?"
Orville
"That is, uh,"
Orville
"Kermit the Frog."
Orville
"Is it someone you know?"
Orville
"No, no, he's just a leader I admire."
Orville
"Always keeps his cool"
Orville
"in a crisis,"
Orville
"He's..."
Orville
"So, what can I do for you?"
Orville
"Sir, I wish to request a leave of absence."
Orville
"For what reason?"
Orville
"What do you mean, like you told a bad joke"
Orville
"or something? Like, what?"
Orville
"Klyden and I"
Orville
"are going to have a child."
Orville
"Congrats. My God."
Orville
"Are-are they big? They big eggs?"
Orville
"They are somewhat large. Yes, sir."
Orville
"Amazing."
Orville
"Um, well, yeah, take all the time off you need."
Orville
"And you sit on it?"
Orville
"You sit on the egg?"
Orville
"and, uh, if you got one more in you,"
Orville
"dibs on the omelet."
Orville
"Yes."
Orville
"You know, I'm-I'm just not gonna try"
Orville
"at comedy with you anymore."
Orville
"Eggs?"
Orville
"Moclans reproduce by laying eggs,"
Orville
"which I never knew."
Orville
"Well, where does it come out of?"
Orville
"into those kinds of specifics."
Orville
"How's that not the first thing you ask?"
Orville
"Captain, we are receiving a distress signal."
Orville
"- by the Krill. - How far away?"
Orville
"Alara, send a message we're on our way."
Orville
"Aye, sir."
Orville
"Approaching the transport, sir, it's the USS Bleriot."
Orville
"Let's see it."
Orville
"Looks like they took a hell of a beating."
Orville
"Scan for life signs. How many passengers are on board?"
Orville
"Captain, the ship is already scanning us."
Orville
"They are?"
Orville
"That's weird."
Orville
"That's like a jinx, right? They owe us a Coke."
Orville
"Bleriot, this is Captain Ed Mercer"
Orville
"of the USS Orville... do you read me?"
Orville
"What is the status of your vessel?"
Orville
"but we're in need of extensive repairs."
Orville
"I can hear you, but visual is a little patchy."
Orville
"All right, send us a manifest of everything you need"
Orville
"- as soon as you can. - Sending now."
Orville
"And, Captain, it so happens we're carrying two passengers"
Orville
"whom you know."
Orville
"Eddie, is that you?"
Orville
"Mom?"
Orville
"Hey, buddy. Surprise, huh?"
Orville
"Well, except for your father."
Orville
"Mom, Dad, what the hell are you guys doing on the Bleriot?"
Orville
"Well, your father and I wanted"
Orville
"to spend the weekend on Deneb 3"
Orville
"- with the Petersons. - With the Petersons."
Orville
"We're receiving the manifest now."
Orville
"- Who's that? - Is that Kelly?"
Orville
"Hi, Mrs. Mercer. How are you?"
Orville
"you're just a wonderful first officer."
Orville
"after the, um, infidelity."
Orville
"- Okay. - Yeah. No, no,"
Orville
"we're... we're fine."
Orville
"- Was it worth it? - Aw, Jeannie..."
Orville
"just drop it, huh?"
Orville
"A honey like that, a couple of flies are"
Orville
"gonna get through, okay?"
Orville
"Hi, Mr. and Mrs. M."
Orville
"Is that Gordon?"
Orville
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