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Clips from The Simpsons - A Fish Called Selma (S07E07)

"This changes everything. I'd pay to see him in a movie now."
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"If only that were possible."
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"Troy! My man! It's MacArthur Parker!"
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"MacArthur Parker, the agent?"
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"MacArthur Parker, my agent?"
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"Just checking in, my friend. So, how's my favorite client?"
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"- We haven't spoken in eight years. - Yes."
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"So, I saw the papers today, Troy. Looking good."
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"That wholesome stuff really helps when I'm trying to find you work."
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"You haven't found me work in 12 years."
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"Oh, you! Jury duty is work."
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"And, listen, you keep getting seen in public with human females..."
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"and I can get you work in the entertainment industry."
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"Hey.!"
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"Hello. Selma Bouvier? It's Troy McClure."
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"You may remember me from such dates as last night's dinner."
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"- Hey! Troy! Troy! - That's right, boys."
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"Troy's back from the gutter, and he's brought someone with him!"
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"That's too funny!"
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"I can't remember when I've heard a funnier anecdote!"
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"Okay, now you tell one."
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"Well, not much happens to me..."
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"but I once had dinner with a movie star..."
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"and it was the most wonderful night of my life."
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"Really? Who was it? George Segal?"
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"Excuse me. I ordered a Zima, not "emphysema. ""
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"Please, don't smoke in our restaurant."
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"We don't serve contemporary California cuisine in your lungs."
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"Troy, uh, I'm sorry I ruined our evening."
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"I have to go now. Oh, my God!"
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"Oh."
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"What's the matter? I'm not fun enough for you?"
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"Patty! Go on, Selma. Tell me more."
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"I don't want to jinx it, Marge, but this could be it."
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"He asked me out again this Friday."
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"He's taking me to a special screening of his latest film."
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"You know, smoke actually smells good when it's coming outta you."
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"- Oh, I'm all out. - Here. Try one of my cigars."
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"Mmm."
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"My God! It's like five cigarettes at once!"
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"Oh, my head is swimming!"
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"That's not cigars, baby. That's love."
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"No longer canst I conceal my love, my wimpled turtledove."
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"Oh, Princess fair, whilst thou grant me thine dainty hoof in marriage?"
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"- Oh, Troy! - Oh, Sir Liesalot.!"
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"I will!"
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"- Ohh! - Just a second, baby."
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"Tonight, '70s leading man Troy McClure has finally met the woman of his dreams."
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"We may remember- Woman? Huh. Okay."
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"We may remember Troy from such films..."
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"as The Verdict Was Mail Fraud and Leper in the Backfield."
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"With his high-profile romance..."
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"Troy's managed to shake the rumors that have dogged his career."
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"Looks like you were wrong when you called him a washed-up deviant, Laurie."
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"All right."
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"Make sure my iguana's okay."
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"Selma, JubJub is fantastic!"
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"He's everywhere you want to be."
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"Garbage collection is Monday. If you want to throw out a box, you have to cut it up."
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"It's so modern."
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"It's ultramodern, like living in the not-too-distant future."
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"Now, you make yourself at home here."
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"It comes on at 10:00."
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"Troy, Mac Parker. Ever hear of Planet of the Apes?"
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"Uh, the movie or the planet?"
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"The brand-new, multi-million-dollar musical!"
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"And you are starring... as the human."
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"Get your paws off me, you dirty ape!"
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"He can talk!"
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"He can talk. He can talk. He can talk! He can talk!"
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"- He can talk.! He can talk.! - I can sing"
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"Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius"
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"Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius"
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"- What's wrong with me - I think you're crazy"
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"- Want a second opinion - You're also lazy"
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"Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius"
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"Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius"
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"- Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius, oh, Dr. Zaius - Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius"
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"Can I play the piano anymore"
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"- Of course you can - Well, I couldn't before"
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"- Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius - This play has everything."
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"Oh, I love legitimate theater."
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"Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius"
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"I hate every ape I see"
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"No, you'll never make a monkey"
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"Out of me"
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"Oh, my God, I was wrong"
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"It was Earth all along"
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"Yes, we finally made a monkey"
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"Yes, you finally"
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"Out of me"
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"I love you, Dr. Zaius."
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"Thank you. It's great to be back."
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"I just want to say I wouldn't be here without the support of a very special lady-"
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"Down in front!"
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"My good looks paid for that pool..."
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"and my talent filled it with water."
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"Hi. I remember you from such filmstrips..."
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"as Locker Room Towel Fight: The Blinding of Larry Driscoll."
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"- I was one of the first to speak out against horseplay. - Uh-huh."
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"Remember when we were kids, we used to dream about our ideal husbands?"
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"Who knew the dream would come true for one of us?"
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"Oh, come on! Guess which one."
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"I know. I know. It's Selma, right?"
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"Yeah, that's a good idea, Homer..."
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"but they've already made some movies about World War II."
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"Aw, hell! Well, what about Dracula?"
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"Homer, I'm really touched you invited me out on the town."
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"You're gonna be a four-star brother-in-law."
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"Troy, buddy, I got to know."
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"What's a great guy like you want to marry a guy like Selma?"
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"- Come here, Homer. - Okay."
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"I'll let you in on a little secret."
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"And do you, Selma Bouvier Terwilliger Bouvier..."
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"take the fabulous Troy McClure to be your lawful wedded husband?"
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"If anyone here knows why this couple should not be wed in holy matrimony..."
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"let him speak now or forever hold his peace."
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"Da-da da-da-da Hey!"
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"Da-da-da-da, da-da da-da-da Hey! Da-da"
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"I now pronounce you husband and wife."
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