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Clips from Gilligan's Island - A Nose by Any Other Name (S01E01)

"I think your new nose is marvelous."
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"It really adds a great deal to your face."
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"Yeah, two pounds."
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"I mean, it fits your face so well."
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"You're much more attractive this way."
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"I am?"
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"Oh yes, you're so rugged, so masculine."
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"- It's a real man's nose. - I should hope so."
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"You never saw anything like this on Miss America."
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"It's true, but...I think you're very fortunate"
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"to have had this accident."
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"This nose gives your face such strength."
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"Good, my face will need a lot more strength"
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"just to carry it around."
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"[romantic music]"
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"Hi, Ginger."
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"- Can I sit down? - Sure."
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"- What are you doing? - I'm making a new fish trap."
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"Oh, you wouldn't have to make a trap to catch me."
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"Huh?"
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"You know, Gilligan, th-there's something about your face that.."
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"I don't know it's...irresistible now."
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"- Must be my nose. - Oh, yeah."
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"Yeah, it's your nose, it's so, it's--"
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"- Masculine? - Exactly."
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"Your face is rugged now, it just gives it so much strength."
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"She's right. You've become so attractive, Gilligan."
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"You know...you look like Cyrano de Bergerac now."
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"- Cero who did Brugia what? - Cyrano de Bergerac."
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"Oh, he was a man with an odd-looking nose"
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"and the most beautiful woman in the world was in love with him."
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"- Roxanne. - Oh, that's a beautiful name."
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"- Yeah, Roxanne. - No, Cyrano de Bergerac."
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"You know, all through history, women have been attracted"
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"to men with interesting noses."
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"- My nose is interesting? - Very."
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"- How about a little kiss? - Sure."
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"Well.."
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"How about a week from tomorrow?"
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"A week from tomorrow?"
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"Yeah, by then, my nose would hurt if it touches you."
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"If a nose like this would make girls throw themselves at me"
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"I'd have busted it years ago."
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"[knocking]"
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"Come in."
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"- Hi, Gilligan. - Oh, hi, Mary Ann."
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"Tonight's gonna be a full moon, I was wondering"
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"if you'd like to take a walk with me."
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"Well, maybe so."
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"Gee, Gilligan, I-I always have liked you but.."
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"- Well, somehow now, it's.. - It's my nose."
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"I guess you're right."
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"It's been that way down through history."
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"Take Roxanne and Cyrano de Bergerac."
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"Oh, that's right."
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"All three of them settled down and lived happily ever after."
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"- All three of them? - Uh-ha."
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"Roxanne, Cyrano, and his nose."
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"Gilligan, I think it's wonderful the way you've adjusted."
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"I know the accident might've spoiled my looks."
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"Turns out I needed it."
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"- Until the night. - Good."
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"I guess some guys got it, and some guys don't."
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"It works like a charm, Mrs. Howell."
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"Gilligan really thinks he looks better now."
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"Yes, he believed every word. It's lucky I'm a good actress."
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"- Mmm. - Oh, that poor boy."
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"We've got to keep saying these things"
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"until he gets used to his new looks."
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"Run along, girls. We mustn't let Gilligan know our plan."
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"[insects chirping]"
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"[splash]"
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"Professor, you got to fix my nose."
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"I don't like it anymore. Everybody hates the way I look."
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"You just got to operate on me and fix it!"
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"I'm afraid I've to operate after all."
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"I won't take no for an answer. You got the medical book."
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"I don't care what you said. Operate my nose and fix it."
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"Gilligan, I said I was going to operate."
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"I thought it was swollen, but I was wrong."
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"We'll set up an operating room."
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"The girls will assist me, and I'll operate."
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"- You will? - 'Yes.'"
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"You prepare for surgery in the morning."
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"Professor, I'd be more than happy to prepare for sur...gery?"
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"- Hi, Professor. - Oh, Gilligan."
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"I've got good news."
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"Just finished cooking up an anesthetic for you."
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"For you to sleep during the operation."
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"If I sleep, I'll miss everything."
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"- Would you rather stay up? - Keep cooking."
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"You see, Gilligan."
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"There are various plants and roots on this island"
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"In the concentrated form, they make an effective anesthetic."
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"It figures."
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"- I think that's enough heat. - You got the stuff?"
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"- That's it. - Yeah."
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"[sniffing]"
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"- I don't smell a thing. - Gilligan, don't breathe that."
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"I don't feel a thing, I don't smell a thing."
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"'You know, professor.'"
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"I was worried about the operation before"
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"but I'm not worried anymore because you're being so careful."
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"[laughing]"
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"Gilligan, I think you better sit down."
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"Why? I feel just fine."
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"It probably just needs some more roots or flowers."
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"Are you sure this is the stuff that's supposed"
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"to work on me because it doesn't have any effect.."
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"- Come on, Gilligan, hurry up. - What's the hurry?"
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"It's just the idea, I have a wonderful surprise for you."
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"You have a surprise? What is it?"
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"Fact that the professor's gonna operate, there's no reason"
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"why you shouldn't have any shape nose you want."
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"- Instead of my own? - Right."
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"How would it be to have a nose like Cary Grant?"
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"Or maybe Jack Lemmon or Jimmy Stewart."
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"- Or even Julie Andrews. - No, not Julie Andrews."
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"I'd look pretty silly with a girl's nose."
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"With noses, it doesn't make any difference."
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