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Clips from The Muppet Show (1976) - Zero Mostel (S02E02)

"Hey, Fozzie, where's Mr. Mostel?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"...and in the wings, uh,"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"- [applause] - [Fozzie] Psst! Psst!"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Read that. Good luck, kid."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"[♪ funk version of Chopin: Polonaise in A-Flat ]"
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"Yeah! Yeah!"
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"OK! Cookin', cookin'!"
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"[chuckling] You know, I'm really gonna enjoy tonight."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"...don't forget today is payday."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"the bloodless old tightwad who owns this theater."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"A dog act? Jugglers? Spoon players? What?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"[applause]"
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"[barking]"
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"- Wonderful. - Terrific film."
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"- Hey, would you get the door? - [growls]"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"I say, would you get the door? Get the door."
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"How was your tennis game today? Have a rough match?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"- How's your backhand? - Uh, fair."
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"That was not cultural."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Let's see. We got..."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"...with Zoot and Rowlf. And then of course we've got..."
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"tend to attract steel, uh, rabbits."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Well, it's been a pleasure..."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"You see, I'm Granny the Gouger and I'd like to audition."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"You're going to be old yourself someday."
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"you're going to be sorry you weren't nicer to Granny."
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"I think I'm sorry already."
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"[coughing]"
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"And they go"
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"But though they are gone they are never far"
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"...I can confront them"
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"Fear of dentists always drilling"
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"An irrational black terror that someday I may get fat"
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"It'll come yours... and mine'll"
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"- with tremendous strength... - Yes."
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"Hiyah!"
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"[chuckling]"
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"Zero Mostel, 25 seconds. Stand by."
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"Mr. Mostel?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"He's in his dressing room eating."
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"I'm in my dressing room being eaten!"
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"[munching and gulping]"
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"[drumroll]"
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"It's The Muppet Show"
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"with our very special guest star, Mr. Zero Mostel."
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"[applause and whistles]"
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"♪ It's time to play the music It's time to light the light ♪"
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"♪ It's time to meet the Muppets on The Muppet Show tonight ♪"
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"♪ It's time to put on makeup It's time to dress up right ♪"
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"♪ It's time to get things started ♪"
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"Oh, please let them be funny this once."
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"♪ It's time to get things started ♪"
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"♪ On the most sensational Inspirational ♪"
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"♪ Celebrational Muppetational ♪"
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"♪ This is what we call The Muppet Show! ♪"
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"[high-pitched squeaking]"
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"Thank you, thank you."
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"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,"
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"and welcome to The Muppet Show."
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"Tonight's special guest star has many, many talents."
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"Let's see... He acts, he sings, he dances, he does comedy,"
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"and they all add up to a great big zero for Zero Mostel."
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"But first, in an attempt to placate the culture lovers of our audience..."
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"Oh, at last, at last!"
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"we open tonight's show with a little classical music."
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"Here is Chopin's Polonaise in A-Flat."
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"Kermit, Kermit, the concert pianist could not make it."
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"But I just introduced the Polonaise."
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"Here. I got a whole new intro written."
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"Let's see, uh... Oh."
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"as performed by... Dr. Teeth?"
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"What?"
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"Yeah, yeah!"
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"Honk it, honk it!"
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"Yeah!"
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"Chopin!"
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"Chopin!"
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"- Oh, yeah! - Chopin! Chopin!"
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"You plan to like this show?"
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"No, I plan to watch television."
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"OK, good ol' Chopin. You can't beat the classics."
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"You can only destroy 'em."
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"- Hey, frogis amphibious... - Yeah?"
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"[growls] Payday! Payday!"
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"Payday, again? It was payday last year."
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"It seems to be getting to be a habit around here."
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"Well, I'll see what's in the old cash box here."
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"Three moths and a washer."
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"Well, that's more than we usually have."
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"Oh, how much do you need, Kermit?"
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"Oh, Scooter, 27 dollars and 14 cents."
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"- Wow! That's high finance. - [telephone ringing]"
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"I'll get it."
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"Hello? Oh, hi, Uncle J.P."
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"That's Scooter's uncle, J.P. Grosse,"
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"Yeah, yeah. Well, listen, uh..."
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"Could you put your cigar out, please?"
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"Thanks. Oh, everything's fine."
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"Yeah, except Kermit needs some money to make the payroll."
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"Uh-huh. Uh-huh."
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"Uh-huh. Uh-huh."
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"- He said, "Uh-huh." - Terrific."
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"- If... - Uh, if what?"
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"If you put some good old-fashioned entertainment"
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"back into the show."
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"- You mean like an Irish tenor? - No."
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"Lady wrestlers."
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"Terrific. I was afraid he wanted something tasteless."
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"[fanfare plays]"
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"OK, now it's time for our special guest"
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"to do something special."
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"Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Zero Mostel."
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"[♪ What Do the Simple Folk Do?]"
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"[singing opera]"
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"[howling]"
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"[screeching]"
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"[♪ What Do the Simple Folk Do?]"
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"- [slurps] - [applause]"
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"Yeah, what's the name of this movie?"
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"Beach Blanket Frankenstein."
The Muppet Show (1976)
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