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Clips from How I Met Your Mother - The Time Travelers (S08E08)

"Maybe that's why I needed to pour my heart out like this."
How I Met Your Mother
"Or, maybe I wrote this so you'd be in here long enough for a lady to walk in..."
How I Met Your Mother
"causing you to freak out and hide in the stall."
How I Met Your Mother
"Whoa. Try to get some in your mouth next time."
How I Met Your Mother
"Okay, everybody listen up."
How I Met Your Mother
"When I walked in here, I was 20-Minutes-From-Now Barney."
How I Met Your Mother
""who orders spaghetti in an Irish bar?" ago."
How I Met Your Mother
"Now I'm 20-Seconds-From-Now Barney, and I'm telling you, watch that door."
How I Met Your Mother
"Um, oh. In-In, like, 12 seconds."
How I Met Your Mother
"Thanks."
How I Met Your Mother
"And thank you for taking such good care of it."
How I Met Your Mother
"Shh. That's why."
How I Met Your Mother
"Who is that?"
How I Met Your Mother
"[Together] She's the coat check girl..."
How I Met Your Mother
"from that dance club we went to seven years ago."
How I Met Your Mother
"You remember that night... when Barney grinded with his cousin."
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, man, you remember that 20 years from now?"
How I Met Your Mother
"He won't let anyone forget."
How I Met Your Mother
"Coat check girl."
How I Met Your Mother
"I always meant to go back to that club and get her number, but I didn't."
How I Met Your Mother
"And now she's here? She's in this bar seven years later?"
How I Met Your Mother
"L-I can't believe this."
How I Met Your Mother
"So, wait. Do you guys think I should go talk to her?"
How I Met Your Mother
"- Yes. - Are you kidding me? - Go!"
How I Met Your Mother
"[High-pitched Voice, British Accent] Hello?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Is anybody out there?"
How I Met Your Mother
"[Normal Voice] Okay."
How I Met Your Mother
"[All Screaming]"
How I Met Your Mother
"No! No, wait! Please, it's not my fault! I was tricked!"
How I Met Your Mother
"Not cool, Marshall. This is a nice bar."
How I Met Your Mother
"Girls come here, they just want to relax with their friends..."
How I Met Your Mother
"maybe have a few Robin Scherbatskys..."
How I Met Your Mother
"and not have to worry about some guy pulling a Marshall Eriksen in the bathroom."
How I Met Your Mother
"No, no, no. I know. I just..."
How I Met Your Mother
"Did you just use my name as shorthand for a guy being creepy?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Yep."
How I Met Your Mother
"Well, you know what, Carl?"
How I Met Your Mother
"I think that you are making a broad and prejudicial assumption."
How I Met Your Mother
"So next time I meet a guy who just goes around rushing to judgment..."
How I Met Your Mother
"You don't know my last name."
How I Met Your Mother
"You've been drinking here for years and you don't know my last name."
How I Met Your Mother
"I will name every drink in this bar after you if you can tell me my last name."
How I Met Your Mother
"What's my last name, Marshall?"
How I Met Your Mother
"It's Carl..."
How I Met Your Mother
"- Break a leg. - [All Chattering]"
How I Met Your Mother
"[Clears Throat]"
How I Met Your Mother
"What the hell?"
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"What-What... Who are you?"
How I Met Your Mother
"We are 20-Months-From-Now-Coat Check Girl."
How I Met Your Mother
"- But there's two of you. - Right."
How I Met Your Mother
"Because if you go over and talk to her, 20 months from now, it's gonna end in one of two ways."
How I Met Your Mother
"Either you are gonna get sick of me..."
How I Met Your Mother
"Or I am gonna get sick of you and your stupid habits."
How I Met Your Mother
"Stop DVR-ing the news. You're never gonna catch up."
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"Oh, stop it. You're scaring him off."
How I Met Your Mother
"- By the way. I'm pregnant. - No, she's not."
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"Okay, no, I'm not. But that made you happy for a second, right?"
How I Met Your Mother
"- Please shut up. - Okay. Wait."
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"So you're saying it's doomed completely?"
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"One of us is just guaranteed to get sick of the other and call it quits?"
How I Met Your Mother
"You've been dating for a long time, Ted."
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"Has it ever gone any other way?"
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"- Look at that one. - Thank you so much."
How I Met Your Mother
"Hey, you look kind of down. Have a Robin Scherbatsky, on me."
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"God, you're still clinging to that?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Marshall, it doesn't matter, 'cause you'd lose anyway, and you know why?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Oh, and you think you can step to me?"
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"You think you can step up to the streets? To me?"
How I Met Your Mother
"You think you can step up over me to the streets?"
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"- I guess we'll never know because you are not allowed... - Wait, wait."
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"- ♪♪ [Jukebox: Dance] - That's my jam."
How I Met Your Mother
"♪ Work that booty Work that booty ♪"
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"I understand."
How I Met Your Mother
"What, you're not gonna try and stop me?"
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"I don't know. By telling me life is short..."
How I Met Your Mother
"and if you ever come across a beautiful, exciting, crazy moment in it..."
How I Met Your Mother
"you got to seize it while you can before that moment's gone?"
How I Met Your Mother
"Ted, this moment already is gone."
How I Met Your Mother
"The whole Minnesota Tidal Wave thing happened five years ago. It's just a memory."
How I Met Your Mother
"And the rest of this never happened."
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"Right now, Marshall and Lily are upstairs trying to get Marvin to go back to sleep."
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"Robin and I are trying to decide on a caterer."
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"And you've been sitting here all night..."
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"staring at a single ticket to Robots Versus Wrestlers..."
How I Met Your Mother
"because the rest of us couldn't come out."
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"- ♪♪ [Ends] - Look around, Ted."
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"You're all alone."
How I Met Your Mother
"[Ted Narrating] Kids, it's been almost 20 years since that cold April night in 2013..."
How I Met Your Mother
"there's no way in hell I'd go to Robots Versus Wrestlers."
How I Met Your Mother
"I'd go to my old apartment, see all my old furniture, my old stuff."
How I Met Your Mother
"I'd see my old drafting table where I sketched out my first building."
How I Met Your Mother
"I'd go to Lily and Marshall's place..."
How I Met Your Mother
"be back in that old living room where so many things happened."
How I Met Your Mother
"I don't know if you can picture me holding your 6'7" Cousin Marvin over my head..."
How I Met Your Mother
"but back then I could."
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"I'd go have a drink with Barney and Robin..."
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"watch them fight about their caterer..."
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"or whatever it was they were fighting about that night."
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"But none of those things is the thing I'd do first."
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"You know the thing I'd do first?"
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"Hi."
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"I'm Ted Mosby."
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"And exactly 45 days from now..."
How I Met Your Mother
"and we're gonna fall in love."
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"we're gonna have two kids."
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"And we're gonna love them and each other so much."
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"All that is 45 days away."
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"But I'm here now..."
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"I want each one of them."
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"And if I can't have them, I'll take the 45 seconds before your boyfriend shows up..."
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"and punches me in the face..."
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"I'm always gonna love you..."
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"till the end of my days..."
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"and beyond."
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"Can I help you?"
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"It's okay. It's fine."
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"Um, I'm in love with your girlfriend, and, uh, we're gonna get married."
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"- What? - Yeah."
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"Okay, guys, I've been waiting 20 years for this."
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"Just like we practiced. No mistakes. Ready?"
How I Met Your Mother
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