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Clips from Key and Peele - Les Mis (S03E03)

"- Good. - How was work?"
Key and Peele
"Yeah, sure. What up?"
Key and Peele
"I leave to go out, the next time I open the computer,"
Key and Peele
"Yesterday, i went food shopping"
Key and Peele
"for, like, 15 minutes."
Key and Peele
"I used the computer before I went to the store,"
Key and Peele
"the cache was cleared, and the cookies had been reset."
Key and Peele
"Hmm."
Key and Peele
"an automatic software update,"
Key and Peele
"and then it gets installed, so..."
Key and Peele
"I don't know, maybe there's something wrong"
Key and Peele
"And it's just one of those things,"
Key and Peele
"it has to reboot, and it just totally wipes out the history."
Key and Peele
"No."
Key and Peele
"I assumed you did anyways. I mean, every guy does."
Key and Peele
"I'm perfectly okay with that,"
Key and Peele
"Just as long as you aren't looking at women who..."
Key and Peele
"The only thing that matters that when we're doing it,"
Key and Peele
"I'm thinking about you..."
Key and Peele
"And you're thinking about me. Right?"
Key and Peele
"Right, baby?"
Key and Peele
"You guys, uh, you guys know the film..."
Key and Peele
"Wha... no. No, he ain't. He ain't in there."
Key and Peele
"Your boy Wolverine. Ta-ching. Ta-ching."
Key and Peele
"- Who else in it? - Gladiator."
Key and Peele
"You ain't tryin' to trick me?"
Key and Peele
"Ah, man, she's just... he's like, Oh, man, come on. What?"
Key and Peele
"- That ain't Wolverine, though. - That's Wolverine, though."
Key and Peele
"- No, that ain't Wolverine. - No, that's your man."
Key and Peele
"And, look, there Catwoman up on this bitch."
Key and Peele
"- Catwoman? - That's for you."
Key and Peele
"I did this for you."
Key and Peele
"♪ One at a time ♪"
Key and Peele
"♪ So long ago it all begun ♪"
Key and Peele
"♪ In the shadows on my shame ♪"
Key and Peele
"♪ Do not interrupt me ♪"
Key and Peele
"- ♪ to survive ♪ - ♪ Okay, now it's my turn ♪"
Key and Peele
"♪ Do I tell him that I love him? ♪"
Key and Peele
"♪ Now, where did this bitch come from? ♪"
Key and Peele
"♪ Lady, seriously, please hang on ♪"
Key and Peele
"♪ Will he recognize her eyes? ♪"
Key and Peele
"♪ It's hard enough to talk to him ♪"
Key and Peele
"♪ Did you say my daughter? ♪"
Key and Peele
"♪ Taking what we can, 'cause things are getting worse ♪"
Key and Peele
"♪ Taking what we can from every pocket and purse ♪"
Key and Peele
"♪ One at a time ♪"
Key and Peele
"♪ The years destroyed the man ♪"
Key and Peele
"Can't we speak?"
Key and Peele
"♪ Why are we all facing the same way? ♪"
Key and Peele
"Great."
Key and Peele
"Now, the first year of my second term"
Key and Peele
"has been a challenge."
Key and Peele
"Tonight, I'd like to address the concerns"
Key and Peele
"Man, y'all some deluded, self-important mother[bleep]"
Key and Peele
"we are not reading every individual email."
Key and Peele
"Rather, we're searching for key words"
Key and Peele
"anal, squirting, plopping."
Key and Peele
"- Hmm. Plopping?"
Key and Peele
"you dirty mother[bleep]?"
Key and Peele
"These key words are being used,"
Key and Peele
"amongst other things,"
Key and Peele
"to prevent terrorists"
Key and Peele
"from using weapons of mass destruction."
Key and Peele
"Not prevent you from watching videos"
Key and Peele
"of ass destruction!"
Key and Peele
"Now, these policies have already foiled"
Key and Peele
"numerous terrorist plots."
Key and Peele
"These are not the kind of plots that y'all are used to,"
Key and Peele
"with his penis in a pizza box,"
Key and Peele
"And I assure you"
Key and Peele
"since the end of the Bush era."
Key and Peele
"And I ain't talkin' about the president. Boop."
Key and Peele
"These policies have allowed us to probe and penetrate..."
Key and Peele
"that there have been numerous terrorist cells fingered..."
Key and Peele
"Okay. Luther, why are you trying"
Key and Peele
"sexual innuendo?"
Key and Peele
"The average American has nothing to fear"
Key and Peele
"from these policies."
Key and Peele
"our country would look like"
Key and Peele
"Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome right about now."
Key and Peele
"I'm talkin' about a post-apocalyptic nightmare!"
Key and Peele
"Thank you, and good night."
Key and Peele
"- Plopping? - Oh, yes, sir."
Key and Peele
"Y'all are some sick mother[bleep]."
Key and Peele
"to blind people when fighting."
Key and Peele
"Interesting. I didn't know that."
Key and Peele
"for this Wednesday, February biscuit fountain jerk."
Key and Peele
"go straight to your computer"
Key and Peele
"and google plopping."
Key and Peele
"- We're sorry. - Uh, good night."
Key and Peele
"- Thank you very much. - Good night."
Key and Peele
"that are happening out there."
Key and Peele
"Tread lightly."
Key and Peele
"Good to see you, man. all right."
Key and Peele
"But you know, we got an... an opportunity."
Key and Peele
"You're standing on the shoulders of a lot of people."
Key and Peele
"That's good."
Key and Peele
"kind of the coolest thing that's ever happened to you."
Key and Peele
"Good."
Key and Peele
"Yearbook photos."
Key and Peele
"Just then, yes."
Key and Peele
"Yeah, okay, we gonna play little games."
Key and Peele
"in the future?"
Key and Peele
"with your big-ass Fraggle Rock hair!"
Key and Peele
"How 'bout you, Dee-Nice?"
Key and Peele
"The Glee club? Aah!"
Key and Peele
"Chicanerous and deplorable."
Key and Peele
"Welcome to Battle Rap, where we're gonna battle rap"
Key and Peele
"You can't even win this 100-yard dash,"
Key and Peele
"- Aah! - No, man, see..."
Key and Peele
"- Ahh ahh! - Why are you doing me?"
Key and Peele
"Gimme that [bleep] hat!"
Key and Peele
"- but never have to forfeit, yeah! - Yahh."
Key and Peele
"And my rhymes, they start to flow."
Key and Peele
"the proceedings in the courtroom."
Key and Peele
"right now... there's only one way to say it."
Key and Peele
"- Yeah, play it cool. - Just play it cool."
Key and Peele
"and maybe... maybe get..."
Key and Peele
"Hey, boo. how you doing?"
Key and Peele
"the browser history's been cleared."
Key and Peele
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