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Clips from 30 Rock - Florida (S07E07)

"That's quite all right."
30 Rock
"A lot of people are making Wild assumptions today."
30 Rock
"Our relationship is purely platonic, if Plato had an elderly, shut-in aunt."
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"Siri, find me the nearest hotel."
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"Oh, you don't want to go out."
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"The Vietnam vets are starting to retire,"
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"and they get antsy at night around all these palm trees."
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"No, that's all right. We can sleep together."
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"Right, Jack?"
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"Of course not."
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"Your pajamas have a turtleneck."
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"So, what way do you want to totally normally sleep together --"
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"face to face or butt to butt?"
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"I'd laugh, but I'm trying not to do the thing that you just referred to."
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"Why didn't anything ever happen between us?"
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"you could just shake a jar of coins while praising Jimmy Carter."
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"No, I'm not saying I wanted something to happen,"
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"We've been drunk together and day drunk together"
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"and on the rebound at the same time, and also you're kind of a slut."
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"If I were a different person, would you have hit on me?"
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"There was a particularly youth oriented priest"
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"in my childhood parish who went after everybody but me."
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"I felt so unpretty."
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"No, this isn't about appearance, Jack."
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"Did nothing never happen between us because I'm not fun?"
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"however you define it -- mentor/mentee..."
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"Sister-ployee/work oracle."
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"...Is more interesting than some dating scenario."
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"And obviously to ruin what we have"
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"with a tawdry yet expert sexual encounter"
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"Obviously. But is it the kind of mistake that I should have made?"
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"Tracy told me I haven't lived."
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"Tracy Jordan?"
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"Whoa!"
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"But he's right. I haven't done anything impulsive ever."
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"I don't have any tattoos or broken bones."
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"I've never been high except for that choir trip to Montreal"
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"because you're the kind of person who finds a way to talk about herself"
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"while lying in my dead mother's bed."
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"Wow, okay. Well, for the record, it's mutual."
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"First of all, it's champing at the bit. Horses champ."
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"And second of all, I'm not going to fight in bed"
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"with a woman I'm not even having sex with."
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"Of course it's weird."
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"Lincoln was super gay!"
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"Thank you."
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"And I don't even want to think about my mother!"
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"They're my mother's vagina."
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"J.Mo."
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"I'm like the following joke about Bjork's swan dress -- tired."
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"I've seen dresses that look fly, but never dresses that can fly."
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"I couldn't sleep at all last night."
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"I've got this weird, sick feeling in my stomach."
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"Me too."
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"It's the same feeling I got in 1997 when that jury foreman looked at me"
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"and said, “Guilty!“, and I had to close my water park."
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"I forgot to make an opening at the end of the slide."
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"- Is that what this is -- guilt? - I don't think so."
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"I mean, what have we done to feel guilty about?"
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"No, come on! It's Kenneth!"
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"I don't care."
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"All I care about is which jazz club I'm going to tonight."
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"Good morning, Jack."
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"You sleep okay?"
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"I slept fine."
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"Before you leave, I wanted you to have this."
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"for our community center's production of Grease."
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"Your mother was Sandy. Well, the fourth Sandy."
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"The first three died falling off the car during Summer Lovin'."
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"I don't know the last time I saw her so happy."
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"I'm glad she had you to, uh, take care of her."
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"Lemon?"
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"I'm in Harry Potter World jail."
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"Kenneth Parcell isn't signing your precious affidavit."
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"Tell him, Ken,"
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"if you've ever experienced anything inappropriate at work."
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"Why do I even take birth control pills if I'm always gonna be alone?"
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"You might as well take them, Kenneth. You take them!"
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"Now, for days that weren't my birthday..."
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"Get me Philadelphia."
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"Well, I did it."
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"I tried to live life, and it sucked."
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"I came here without studying the park map beforehand,"
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"that turned out to just be a crowd of people"
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"Then the park started to fill up, but, oh, I'm being spontaneous,"
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"which is when Duncan here caught me."
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"I am who I am, and I'm never gonna change."
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"I'll die full of regrets,"
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"and just let him read his Hustlers without ever telling him I was a fan."
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"Lemon, you're wrong. People can change."
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"After all, that's what Colleen did."
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"about your mother's late-in-life lez-out?"
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"I know. And a woman of color, too. Good for her."
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"At the end, when she said she just wanted me to be happy,"
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"I thought she was being sarcastic, because when I was growing up"
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"I thought people who wanted to be happy were weak --"
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"What are you talking about? That is enough of your black-Irish nonsense."
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"Of course you're happy."
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"or, when playing hockey, the goal."
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"Jack, in an hour, you are flying to New York City on a private jet"
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"to a party celebrating you as KableTown's next CEO."
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"It's everything you've ever wanted."
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"And Colleen is looking down on you right now,"
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"Hello, Beverly."
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"It's just Bev, Liz. My mother died while naming me."
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"Really? Wow. Okay."
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"and we don't want to split them up."
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"I know. It's a lot to take on."
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"Why don't you discuss it with that little action figure you're married to?"
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"Yes, we'll take them. We'll take both kids."
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"I'm on my way up to see Jack,"
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"And two, because of the lawsuit and the PR nightmare"
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"Liz?"
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"I showed up without a bra one day, and I was viciously harassed"
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"until I put on a shirt."
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"I once saw Kenneth Parcell naked. It was horrible."
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"His body is just a smooth, beige tube with a head."
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"Frank Rossitano was always trying to give me pornography"
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"There are these two African-American giants"
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"that were always pressuring me"
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