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Clips from Archer - Skytanic (S01E01)

"- Lana! - What?"
Archer
"Danger zone!"
Archer
"Terrible, awful, just gut-wrenchingly bad feeling about this."
Archer
"surprising amount of storage. - Ugh. And I'll hardly be in here, okay?"
Archer
"- What's basically a twin bed. - Archer."
Archer
"Since it's all drawers under here, because look how tiny this room is!"
Archer
"- Very eager to know why you're still here. - He was just..."
Archer
"- Just helping Lana get settled. - Trust me, Cyril. She already settled."
Archer
"- Hey! - Hey!"
Archer
"I guess vodka?"
Archer
"That, what's her name, Beekman? I bet she's just sick she got bumped."
Archer
"- Especially in light of recent... No."
Archer
"L... Uh... See, here's the thing..."
Archer
"I don't know what that means, Pam."
Archer
"It's called a dairy."
Archer
"learn what you can about Krauss... - But please, be discreet!"
Archer
"Hey, good advice! Which maybe I'll just sort of fold in..."
Archer
"with my 12 years of experience as a covert operative."
Archer
"Captain, dear, where would it do the most damage?"
Archer
"Damn it, he's a prospective investor!"
Archer
"- He's a Sikh! - Oh, so if he's not a Muslim..."
Archer
"If anything went wrong on this flight, he'd lose millions."
Archer
"combine the pampering of a cruise ship..."
Archer
"with the speed of... - Some other, slightly faster ship?"
Archer
"Uh... Hello, airplanes? Yeah, it's blimps."
Archer
"You win, bye! Oh, God."
Archer
"- I hope you didn't invest in this. - It'll be fine, though."
Archer
"with ISIS on board, what could possibly go wrong?"
Archer
"Pick one!"
Archer
"Either A, I tell Lana what happened on that scratchy green office rug..."
Archer
"Or C, maybe I just jam this mop..."
Archer
"- I don't think that's how blimps work. - Darn, right."
Archer
"We'd just sort of float around."
Archer
"- What? - I'm kidding!"
Archer
"I don't know. World's gushiest orgasm?"
Archer
"Oh. Well, then hang on."
Archer
"Unkempt bush? You're one to talk."
Archer
"- Baby... - Did I interrupt something?"
Archer
"Oh... Rehearsal with your Commodores tribute band?"
Archer
"but apparently you're too busy showing off your vealy vulva!"
Archer
"Lf, um, we ever meet."
Archer
"- What about you? Anything on Krauss? - No. Shut up."
Archer
"There! Go buy a nicotine patch!"
Archer
"and all of a sudden he's Judge Crater. - Oh, for God's sake!"
Archer
"The minimum bet is ten thousand, sir. Dollars."
Archer
"I stuffed all my money in that guy's mouth, because..."
Archer
"So if I win, I spend a night of passion with your exquisite wife."
Archer
"you tell me where the bomb... What? - Baccarat! Mr. Singh wins."
Archer
"What, are you mostly paid in tips?"
Archer
"- Almost entirely, sir. - Heh."
Archer
"Ahem. Mm-hm."
Archer
"Prancing around in your Fiacci knockoffs..."
Archer
"blathering about your vulva. - Hey, first of all..."
Archer
"I'm just saying! You're driving Cyril straight toward another woman."
Archer
"Cyril? With another woman?"
Archer
"- Oh, yes, yes! Oh, my God! - Oh, my God, what am I doing?"
Archer
"- Ruining your life, you idiot. - Ha-ha-ha."
Archer
"- Uh... I'm sorry, what? - You. Now. Led Zeppelin suite."
Archer
"- He hinted... - That's profiling."
Archer
"That the proof was in his cabin! - Really?"
Archer
"Yes! So go down there and find it..."
Archer
"Check the Kaiser Wilhelm suite."
Archer
"- See, it all started when you and Lana... - Cyril! You should tell her this."
Archer
"I tried! But you were naked and it was all vulva this, and vulva that."
Archer
"The Led Zeppelin suite."
Archer
"- There's a von Zeppelin suite. - Which I'm sure is what I meant. So, go!"
Archer
"So yes, the bottom line is that I was unfaithful to you."
Archer
"Which is not a word. Come on, Figgis! All right, here we go."
Archer
"- Oh, why? - Hello!"
Archer
"- So, that's your idea of a break, huh? - Cyril! It's not what it looks like!"
Archer
"Okay, so Cyril got in over his head. - Jesus, God, did he kill her?"
Archer
"I kinda had to drown her in the tub. - So you killed her?"
Archer
"good news. Shut up, Pam."
Archer
"Did Cyril run by here crying in a woman's bathrobe?"
Archer
"- What'd I do? - What'd you do?"
Archer
"Running around all up and down this stupid blimp."
Archer
"- I was trying to stop a bomb plot. - Oh, my God, there is no bomb!"
Archer
"- More good news. - And just how do you know that?"
Archer
"Ugh."
Archer
"Hello? - So, what would you say if I told you..."
Archer
"that your mother made a phony bomb threat..."
Archer
"...just to get a free ride on a blimp? - I'd say that's fairly classic her?"
Archer
"- Oh, shut up. - And then I'd just sorta laugh..."
Archer
"There's actually a bomb on board? Archer?"
Archer
"Archer? Oh, what the hell? Where the **** are you going?"
Archer
"Gotta get my turtleneck. I'm not defusing a bomb in this!"
Archer
"- No running! Shut up!"
Archer
"- Oh, Jesus. - Yeah! And so Krauss gets a curb party."
Archer
"We're at you just shot the guy who could disarm the bomb, jackass!"
Archer
"What...? I didn't shoot him!"
Archer
"Blowing it up will send the stock price down to zero."
Archer
"Yeah, that's why I shorted it!"
Archer
"- But what about all the other employees? - Um..."
Archer
"it's helium!"
Archer
"And what about that are you still not getting, exactly?"
Archer
"How about bomb defusal camp?"
Archer
"No, actually lacrosse camp. If that helps."
Archer
"- Let's see that ignition, girl. You got it?"
Archer
"So on the side of the timer, there should be a serial number."
Archer
"- Since first call. - Nine, three, four..."
Archer
"...T, X, S. - T-X-X? Two X's?"
Archer
"Sierra! Ray..."
Archer
"it's niner three four, Tango, X-ray, Sierra!"
Archer
"Thank you, doll! Now there should be a dash, followed by two letters."
Archer
"- Which one? There's two of those. - No..."
Archer
"One's blue with a white stripe..."
Archer
"... and the other's white with a blue stripe."
Archer
"- Yeah, and both are identical! - No! They're not!"
Archer
"Ray? Hon? They're really similar."
Archer
"One's a teeny bit... Blue, honey."
Archer
"- Which one? - I guess that one, maybe?"
Archer
"- So wait, which one do I cut? - The teeny bit... Blue one!"
Archer
"You said the letters after the dash were Oscar Kilo!"
Archer
"- Skipped a step in disarming a bomb? - Which I thought..."
Archer
"- Roger. Sorry. Ray. - Now. In the serial number..."
Archer
"what are the two letters following the dash?"
Archer
"- You ready? God damn it, Archer!"
Archer
"- First letter is B. - Bravo."
Archer
"Archer! - Me of all people?"
Archer
"- Nothing. - Ray, hon."
Archer
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