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Clips from Workaholics - Straight Up Juggahos (S01E01)

"It's us. You're safe now."
Workaholics
"- Ders, Adam?"
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"Why is Jillian hanging out with that bully still?"
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"- She's fine. We're all fine."
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"Let me see them titties, girl."
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"- Blake, it turns out,"
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"we found everything we were looking for"
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"right here at the Dark Carnival of Souls."
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"- That's great, and forgive me for not celebrating,"
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"and I'd like to go home, drink a box of wine,"
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"maybe take a warm bath,"
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"and gently masturbate myself to sleep, okay?"
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"Aah! My back! - Hey! No, come on."
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"Up you go, up you go. In the chair."
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"- Well, you're not going home to masturbate just yet."
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"- I didn't say I was gonna masturbate."
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"- We're gonna go back to the mixer, buddy."
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"- Blake, what's the tightest thing in the world?"
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"- Buttholes."
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"Yeah. A butthole."
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"But I was talking about the bonds of a family."
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"A psychopathic family."
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"So what do you say?"
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"- ♪ Homies, homies ♪"
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"♪ Talkin' about road dogs of mine ♪"
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"♪ Juggalo homies ♪"
Workaholics
"♪ Homies, homies ♪"
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"♪ We throwin' up clown love signs ♪"
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"♪ Real life Juggalo ♪"
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"♪ Homies, homies ♪"
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"- Oh, hello. Look what we have here."
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"- Mmm, jealousy does not look good on you."
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"- Does this maneuv ring any bells?"
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"Ohh. Stairwell?"
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"Oh, wait, there's no bra here, and I like that much better."
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"- This is so weird."
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"- My tits are telling me to sleep with you."
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"- Mmm, I like what your tits have to say."
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"- So do I."
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"- Oh, God."
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"- Done deals. - Guess what, chumps."
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"I don't even need your card anymore,"
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"because I've got the king of cards."
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"Bah!"
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"Score for the Ders!"
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"- Fuck you, dude. - Nice makeup."
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"- The Der- I get called the Ders."
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"- HEY-"
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"- What's this? Making fun of me?"
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"I'm here for something totally different."
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"- Good. - And that's to say I'm sorry."
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"Yeah, that's right."
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"And much like buttholes, families are meant to be tight."
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"- 'Scuse me? - Look, man..."
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"We're all family, okay? And I..."
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"I know what it's like to be trapped in a chair."
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"I've been in this seat prison for, like, 25 minutes now."
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"It's rough. But you know what?"
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"Even though you have been a jerk to me..."
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"I still love ya."
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"Got a lot of... anger I need to work through."
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"Tend to push people away."
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"- Hey, less pushing, more hugging-what do you say?"
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"Get in here. - All right."
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"- Dr. Neden, no!"
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"- You mess with my family, you mess with me!"
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"- No, Jake Heisenripbauer!"
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"- So let's not hang out with Juggalos anymore."
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"- They are who we thought they were."
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"- Walking, talking diarrhea people."
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"- Big Money Hustla's coming to Thanksgiving."
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"Those are her boobs. Oh, my God!"
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"- Nice!"
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"Fuck all rules."
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"- I already really like him."
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"- Why'? What are you so afraid of, sheep boy?"
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"Hey, Blake, "neden" is Juggalo for "pussy.""
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"- Oh, you're saying I tickle-"
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"♪ And they can feel this like a dope set of real tits ♪"
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"Let me know if you want me to take Becca."
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"- Still as rude as ever. - This is stupid."
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"- No, I called- I called that way."
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"- Davis King,"
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"- Mm..."
Workaholics
"who are you, Adam?"
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"- Okay. - Hi, pumpkin."
Workaholics