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Clips from Workaholics - Straight Up Juggahos (S01E01)

"walking around in your sheep clothing"
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"just thinking your sheep thoughts."
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"- Uh-huh. - Do you want to continue"
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"Or do you want to play with my boobs?"
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"- I'll put that hatchet in your head-"
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"If you have a map with a legend or anything..."
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"Okay, thank you."
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"Jeez, it's hot. It's like Hades."
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"Hey, um, I see you got some cold beverages here."
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"You mind if I buy one off of you guys?"
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"Hell, at this point, I'd take a Dasani."
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"Okay, if you can hear me,"
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"I'm gonna put $5 right here on your gross, inflatable cooler."
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"And, uh... a Faygo. What is a Faygo?"
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"You've got Redpop, Moon Mist."
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"Do you have anything that's not Faygo,"
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"besides Red Rock- - Whoa! Whoa!"
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"You all right there, camper? You look lost."
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"- Oh, do I? Thank you, Detective Zoobilee Zoo."
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"Unless you have some Schweppes"
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"or something like a Nantucket Nectar, get lost."
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"If you like Fresca-"
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"- Oh, my God. Is this Fresca?"
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"Oh, Fresca."
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"- Well, actually, that's Faygo Moon Mist."
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"- Really'?"
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"- Booyah, bitch!"
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"- Go for it, ninja. Crack that dome."
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"Yeah. - Okay, you're askin' for it."
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"I'm gonna just split you open."
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"- Sweet spot. - This one's for Dad."
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"- Bah!"
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"Is that Jillian?"
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"- ♪ He's insane ♪"
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"- Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror,"
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"and I'm like..."
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"- I bet you lift weights"
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"to try to look like those juiceheads"
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"in the magazines."
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"- Guilty as charged!"
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"I'm just a lat guy, you know?"
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"I've got these amazing lats, and..."
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"I'm just living in an ab guy's world."
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"Sugar Bear."
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"- Sugar Bear. That is..."
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"Nice. I like that."
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"But what if we chose a different name like..."
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"Dangerous..."
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"you know, Wolf, or something,"
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"No? - No."
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"- All right. Yeah, Sugar Bear."
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"That's a good one. I like that too."
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"- Five, four, three, two..."
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"- You want another?"
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"Please, it's the least I can do."
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"Ro, can you grab another Faygo for Anders?"
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"- Oh, sure, hon. - Thanks."
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"It's just so hot out here. It's so good."
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"- It's a good beverage."
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"Thanks, sweetie."
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"Daddy loves you. Bye!"
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"- Oh, you got a great family. - Oh, thanks."
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"- I got to ask, what- what brings a guy like you"
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"to a place like this?"
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"- Ah! Direct. I like that."
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"when I came to my first Juggalo concert"
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"to sell hatchets."
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"- Wait. You're in sales?"
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"I'm in sales too! TelAmeriCorp."
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"- T.A.C.? - Yeah."
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"- Get out! I did business with them a few years ago."
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"Hey, Ro, Anders here works for TelAmeriCorp!"
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"- Oh, my God. Really'?"
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"- That is a piss. You know what?"
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"I like the cut of your jib."
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"Let me give you my business card."
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"Maybe we can toss each other a little business."
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"- Yeah, that'd be great. Thank you."
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"Do you, uh- do you want my card?"
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"- Sure. I'd love it. - All right."
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"We'll just exchange cards. - Yeah."
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"that's part of the sales thing, right?"
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"- No, it's gonna sound crazy,"
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"Get this, last weekend in Fresno,"
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"they even got me on stage to do a rapping battle."
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"- You rapped?"
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"- Well, I'm no ODB, but..."
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"They don't judge you here."
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"- ♪ But those who know me know I'm dealing the realness ♪"
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"♪ And when I'm hittin' skins I rock and I leave with this ♪"
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"♪ So deep it's a spinal tap like Michael McKean is ♪"
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"Yeah, boy!"
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"- Will the friends of Karl Hevacheck"
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"report to the first aid tent?"
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"- Jillian? Jillian. Hey."
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"- Uh, I'm here to save you. You called us."
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"- Oh, did I not call you back? Everything's fine."
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"You should stay at the mixer."
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"- Wow, you are super drunk, aren't you, Jillian?"
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"- Whoop-whoop whoop-whoop-whoop!"
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"That's the Juggalo's call."
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"- All right, come on. I'm gonna get you out of here."
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"Let's go get some wine and cheese."
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"- Whoa! Who's this fake-ass Juggaho?"
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"- Dr. Neden, you know Blake."
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"So I'm definitely getting that dong near this thong."
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"- Oh, wow. Okay, great."
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"Um, no, but actually, I don't know who this guy is."
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"I'll explain that to you later."
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"- She's not goin' anywhere with you."
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"And if you touch her,"
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"I'll knock your dick-tickler off your face, son."
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"- Wha- - He means your mustache."
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"Everywhere I turn, it's bullies. Big, fat bullies."
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"- Whatever, Paula Poundstone."
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"- Paula Poundstone."
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"No! You're goin' down!"
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"Oh, boy! - Blake!"
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"- Aah! Oh... fuck!"
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"- Aah! Monsters! - Hey, hey, hey!"
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