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Clips from Seinfeld - The Pen (S03E03)

"Hi, how are you?"
Seinfeld
"Hello, Jerry."
Seinfeld
"Evelyn, this is Elaine."
Seinfeld
"Hi, Evelyn."
Seinfeld
"Jerry, you got thin."
Seinfeld
"- Too thin? - Oh, stop worrying..."
Seinfeld
"So where's the new pen?"
Seinfeld
"- What? - The pen."
Seinfeld
"The one Jack Klompus gave you."
Seinfeld
"- Blanche? - That's some good pen."
Seinfeld
"- Writes upside down. - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"I don't know, she said Jerry wanted the pen."
Seinfeld
"I never really wanted the pen."
Seinfeld
"- He gave him the pen. - Morty."
Seinfeld
"- Why? You don't like the pen? - No, no, I-"
Seinfeld
"Because if you don't, give it back to him."
Seinfeld
"- Is that what she said? - Who?"
Seinfeld
"- Blanche. - What are you talking about?"
Seinfeld
"Hello?"
Seinfeld
"Jerry wouldn't do that. Jack gave it to him."
Seinfeld
"All he said was he liked it."
Seinfeld
"I mean, nobody put a gun to his head."
Seinfeld
"You're giving him back that pen."
Seinfeld
"Somebody, please."
Seinfeld
"The air conditioner."
Seinfeld
"Oh, my God, I forgot all about it."
Seinfeld
"All I said was, I like the pen."
Seinfeld
"How the hell do you work this thing?"
Seinfeld
"Maybe you shouldn't go tonight."
Seinfeld
"But your back hurts."
Seinfeld
"Maybe a couple of muscle relaxers would help."
Seinfeld
"You can turn down the air conditioning if you want."
Seinfeld
"No, I'm fine."
Seinfeld
"- You're not too cold? - No."
Seinfeld
"- What the hell happened to you? - I'm okay."
Seinfeld
"Having a good time."
Seinfeld
"Is it my imagination or is it freezing in here?"
Seinfeld
"What happened to your eyes?"
Seinfeld
"- Well, I started to go under- - With the instructor?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah, I got about 10 feet down..."
Seinfeld
"...and felt this tremendous pressure on my mask..."
Seinfeld
"...like my eyeballs were being sucked out of their sockets."
Seinfeld
"I told you."
Seinfeld
"Excuse me."
Seinfeld
"Doris would like to borrow your red pocketbook..."
Seinfeld
"...to go with her shoes."
Seinfeld
"The shoes have to match the pocketbook."
Seinfeld
"What's she doing, yoga?"
Seinfeld
"- My back hurts. - Morty, better hurry up."
Seinfeld
"- What happened? - I got in a fistfight..."
Seinfeld
"...with one of the ladies at the pool."
Seinfeld
"It's from scuba diving."
Seinfeld
"What's there to see underwater?"
Seinfeld
"Listen, Mr. Klompus..."
Seinfeld
"...it was a nice gesture to give me the pen, but I don't really need it."
Seinfeld
"- You what? - It's a terrific pen..."
Seinfeld
"- Well, I mean- - Take it."
Seinfeld
"All right."
Seinfeld
"You know, Jack, you got a hell of a nerve taking that kid's pen."
Seinfeld
"- Whose pen? - His pen."
Seinfeld
"This happens to be my pen."
Seinfeld
"- You didn't give it to him? - What are you talking about?"
Seinfeld
"Where do you come off with this crap?"
Seinfeld
"Listen, do you think I take everything everybody offers me?"
Seinfeld
"You offered me sponge cake yesterday."
Seinfeld
"- Did I take it? - You didn't want it."
Seinfeld
"Of course I wanted it! I love sponge cake."
Seinfeld
"...what the hell do I care whether you have sponge cake?"
Seinfeld
"Because I saw the look on your face last week..."
Seinfeld
"...when I took the Scotch tape."
Seinfeld
"So you got the Scotch tape."
Seinfeld
"- I've been looking all over for it. - I'll give it back."
Seinfeld
"- I don't want it. - I don't want it!"
Seinfeld
"You know, Jack, do me a favour, will you?"
Seinfeld
"Listen, do you think I give a damn?"
Seinfeld
"Nerve of that guy, taking back that pen."
Seinfeld
"Well, that's it for them."
Seinfeld
"What is going on in this community?"
Seinfeld
"Are you people aware of what's happening?"
Seinfeld
"What is driving you to this behaviour?"
Seinfeld
"Is it the humidity? Is it the Muzak?"
Seinfeld
"Is it the white shoes?"
Seinfeld
"I have no use for either one of them. I even don't want them there tonight."
Seinfeld
"Isn't he supposed to emcee?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah, he's supposed to be the emcee."
Seinfeld
"Well, this should be a very interesting evening."
Seinfeld
"What about those muscle relaxers?"
Seinfeld
"Say astronaut."
Seinfeld
"Say what?"
Seinfeld
"Say what?"
Seinfeld
"You took too many of those pills."
Seinfeld
"- Astronaut? - Say it."
Seinfeld
"- Astronaut! - Astro..."
Seinfeld
"Good. Okay."
Seinfeld
"Last year, I took him to the hospital every day."
Seinfeld
"Did he ever say thank you?"
Seinfeld
"Uncle Leo."
Seinfeld
"Hello!"
Seinfeld
"- Morty, are you nervous? - What nervous?"
Seinfeld
"What's with the sunglasses? Who are you, Van Johnson?"
Seinfeld
"I got a black eye."
Seinfeld
"Hello."
Seinfeld
"...this is my Aunt Stella."
Seinfeld
"Stella!"
Seinfeld
"Stella!"
Seinfeld
"Her back hurts."
Seinfeld
"We saw you on The Tonight Show last week."
Seinfeld
"I thought Johnny was very rude to you."
Seinfeld
"- He didn't even let you talk. - No, no."
Seinfeld
"You need some new material."
Seinfeld
"I've heard you do that dog routine three times already."
Seinfeld
"Stella!"
Seinfeld
"Stella!"
Seinfeld
"You should get your cousin Jeffrey to write some material for you."
Seinfeld
"What? Jeffrey works for the Parks Department."
Seinfeld
"You should read the letters he's written."
Seinfeld
"He's funnier than the whole bunch of you."
Seinfeld
"Oh, here's Jack. We should sit down."
Seinfeld
"This better be good. I'm missing Golden Girls for this."
Seinfeld
"I hate her like poison."
Seinfeld
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