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Clips from Seinfeld - The Pen (S03E03)

"And if you go down there and you forget your bathing suit..."
Seinfeld
"You know how that gets?"
Seinfeld
"So I get in the water in this thing, and it's, like, floating around me..."
Seinfeld
"Know what I'll do next time?"
Seinfeld
"I don't know why. We would have picked you up."
Seinfeld
"- What if you want to use it? - We don't."
Seinfeld
"So, what, you'd hitch?"
Seinfeld
"- You're not paying for it. - Morty."
Seinfeld
"Jerry."
Seinfeld
"So they arrived safely."
Seinfeld
"...you're gonna do one of your little comedy skits tomorrow."
Seinfeld
"Hey, what kind of pen is that?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, that's the astronaut pen. I heard about that. Where did you get it?"
Seinfeld
"You shouldn't have said anything. What did you expect?"
Seinfeld
"- He didn't think you'd accept. - Well, he was wrong."
Seinfeld
"Come in."
Seinfeld
"Oh, no, don't say that. You'll jinx me."
Seinfeld
"How can they not put the air conditioning on?"
Seinfeld
"It's making a dent."
Seinfeld
"I'm in bed, sweating."
Seinfeld
"Put your blinker on immediately, there's an abutment there."
Seinfeld
"I'm buying you a new sofa."
Seinfeld
"You're hot?"
Seinfeld
"I've lost six pounds."
Seinfeld
"...so much about how you look."
Seinfeld
"- How did you know that? - Blanche told me."
Seinfeld
"Oh, hello, Gussy. What?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, no, no, I wanna go."
Seinfeld
"Oh, okay."
Seinfeld
"- Don't be alarmed. - Oh, my God."
Seinfeld
"- My capillaries burst. - Your capillaries?"
Seinfeld
"- Do you know what you look like? - How you doing?"
Seinfeld
"- Get ready. - We got plenty of time."
Seinfeld
"...but I think you should keep it."
Seinfeld
"Who said you couldn't have it? I mean..."
Seinfeld
"Take the pen and the Scotch tape and get the hell out of here."
Seinfeld
"Oh, God."
Seinfeld
"Oh, Elaine..."
Seinfeld
"Ladies and gentlemen, as you know..."
Seinfeld
"A man who slept more hours on the job than Ronald Reagan."
Seinfeld
"I wonder what he ever did."
Seinfeld
"- Morty, give me that. - Give him the pen."
Seinfeld
"Stella!"
Seinfeld
"Excuse me?"
Seinfeld
"Dr. Chernov is the one you'll have to suck up to."
Seinfeld
"They love heat."
Seinfeld
"If they ever decide to land men on the sun..."
Seinfeld
"I have never seen an old person in a new bathing suit..."
Seinfeld
"...in my life. I don't know where they get their bathing suits."
Seinfeld
"But my father has bathing suits from other centuries."
Seinfeld
"My parents live in Florida."
Seinfeld
"...then they want you to wear one of theirs."
Seinfeld
"You need trunks, son? I got trunks for you."
Seinfeld
"You can wear my trunks."
Seinfeld
"Fathers don't wear bathing suits, they wear trunks."
Seinfeld
"It's kind of the same thing a tree would wear if it went swimming."
Seinfeld
"...somewhere."
Seinfeld
"You ever put on a bathing suit that you don't know..."
Seinfeld
"...exactly where you are inside the bathing suit?"
Seinfeld
"You bump into somebody, No, I'm parasailing."
Seinfeld
"I'm waiting for the boat to come back."
Seinfeld
"It was supposed to be here at 7:30."
Seinfeld
"- Call the airlines again. - What happened to the Scotch tape?"
Seinfeld
"Who takes the Scotch tape?"
Seinfeld
"Nobody returns anything around here."
Seinfeld
"Oh, I think that's them."
Seinfeld
"I'll hide it so nobody can find it."
Seinfeld
"- Hi! Welcome! - Hi!"
Seinfeld
"- Welcome. - How are you?"
Seinfeld
"- Welcome to Florida! - Hi, Mr. Seinfeld."
Seinfeld
"Hey, there's the old man."
Seinfeld
"So, what took you so long?"
Seinfeld
"We waited 35 minutes in the rent-a-car place."
Seinfeld
"- What's the difference? - You could use our car."
Seinfeld
"I don't want to use your car."
Seinfeld
"- What's wrong with our car? - Nothing. It's fine."
Seinfeld
"- What? We use it. - If you were using it, we wouldn't."
Seinfeld
"- How much is a rent-a-car? - I don't know, 25 bucks a day."
Seinfeld
"Oh, I didn't get the insurance."
Seinfeld
"How could you not get the insurance?"
Seinfeld
"We'll pay for the car."
Seinfeld
"God, it's so hot in here."
Seinfeld
"Why don't you put on the air conditioning?"
Seinfeld
"You don't need the air conditioner. Do you have your speech all ready?"
Seinfeld
"Do I have to make a speech?"
Seinfeld
"Of course. They're giving a testimonial for your father."
Seinfeld
"- You could do your comic routines. - Oh, yeah."
Seinfeld
"That'll go over real well with that crowd."
Seinfeld
"You have a lake."
Seinfeld
"- The lake isn't real. - The lake is real."
Seinfeld
"Are you kidding? They built the lake."
Seinfeld
"But it's real, it's water."
Seinfeld
"- Where are you going with those? - I'll put Elaine's stuff in here."
Seinfeld
"Don't sleep in there. Sleep in the bedroom."
Seinfeld
"I can't take your bedroom."
Seinfeld
"- I'm up at 6:00 in the morning. - I can't kick you out of your bed."
Seinfeld
"We don't even sleep."
Seinfeld
"- Ma. - It's a sofa bed."
Seinfeld
"- You'll be uncomfortable. - What about you?"
Seinfeld
"Why should I be comfortable?"
Seinfeld
"- What about him? - Don't worry. He's comfortable."
Seinfeld
"I'll sleep standing up. I'll be fine."
Seinfeld
"- Will you stop? - Yeah, I'll just stay in here."
Seinfeld
"Jerry, you don't have to stay on the couch on my account."
Seinfeld
"- You two can stay in there together. - That's not a good idea."
Seinfeld
"- I thought that you- - Not now. She's right inside."
Seinfeld
"I don't know. We decided we don't really work as a couple."
Seinfeld
"- What does that mean? - Well-"
Seinfeld
"Why are you whispering?"
Seinfeld
"- Nothing, nothing. - Elaine."
Seinfeld
"- What about her? - Would you please be-?"
Seinfeld
"You know, look at the sun-dried tomatoes."
Seinfeld
"Where were they five years ago?"
Seinfeld
"It just goes to show you, you never know what-"
Seinfeld
"What, you know, could happen..."
Seinfeld
"...to a vegetable. It could just take right off at any time."
Seinfeld
"We've tried all kinds of arrangements..."
Seinfeld
"...but we can't seem to be friends when we sleep together."
Seinfeld
"Why do you need more friends?"
Seinfeld
"You've got plenty of friends."
Seinfeld
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