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Clips from The Detour - The Restaurant (S01E01)

"from your former company, P.F.R. Industries,"
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"We weren't making good time."
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"Oh, wow. That's a lot... that's... oh, that's so much."
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"Where's your father? Nate!"
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"Crawl in the front. Crawl in the front."
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"- Get me out of here! - Oh, god! Oh... Nate!"
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"- Fonzie! - What is happening?!"
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"- Who do you keep texting? - What?"
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"at a bagel shop called Schutzstaffel?"
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"- Called... - Schutzstaffel."
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""They"?"
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"I wanna dunk the con-qweest-ador."
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"Conquistadors! Conquistadors! Conquistadors! Conquistadors!"
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"- into his lexicon? - Nope."
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"It's cute, though. We should take a picture of this."
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"Who is this?"
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"- She just stopped breathing. - Oh, my god."
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"- Hey. - What's up?"
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"- I'll do anything. - Really? Anything?"
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"Well, I'm not sucking you off."
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"forcing the conquistadors' reluctant hands."
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"Oh, god. Vanessa. I-I knew she was gonna screw..."
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"- She feels really bad, too. - Poor Noonie."
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"If I might offer a few words of comfort."
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"I can't believe I'm gonna say this,"
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"Oysters! On my plate! That was rude."
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"gotta talk to you about, uh, those packages that I left you."
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"about doing good journalism stuff."
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"But like I said, uh, I'm gonna need that package back."
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"we would like for you guys to gather up"
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"you believe that kitty cat heaven does,"
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"- Here you go. - Seriously, dude, what do I have"
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"Hey, Parker. Naughty Nate, you with me, chief?"
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"That's all right."
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"Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay!"
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"♪ Let's enjoy ♪"
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"Listen to me, man, the product, it's irrelevant to the story."
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"hey, dude. Just hold on one second again."
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"♪ We won ♪"
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"We won!"
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"Delilah, it's okay. I'm a minister."
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"She's gonna be on eternal hold."
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"Don't you realize how offensive that is?"
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"Wow. Are you kidding me with that shit?"
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"Do not talk that way to my son."
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"- Oh, shit, yes. - No, no, no. No, no."
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"I'm not gonna say it in that context."
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"to get this guy off my ass? Thanks."
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"Okay, hey, you're wearing armor."
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"- That's an expression. - No, it's not."
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"- No. - I am not a racist, all right?"
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"Mm."
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"Well, then, hell, what am I supposed to call him?"
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"Yeah, which is..."
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"- Which is Brian. - No. How do I describe him?"
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"No, I'm not apologizing. Okay? Because I'm right!"
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"You know what word you shouldn't call people?"
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"not to decide whether or not"
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"Since you weren't there from the beginning"
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"maybe it's worth believing in dad for once."
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"Yeah, okay. Well, I see what you're doing."
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"I think it was the thing at the restaurant."
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"Yeah, you know what that is? That's guilt."
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"I think I do, too."
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"I... I'm... listen, I got something to say to you."
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"You know, I feel like I didn't effectively"
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"I feel like I should've said you were culturally insensitive"
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"yeah, because if you say the word "racist,""
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"You know, you get so defensive,"
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"Mm-hmm."
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"- Revenge. - What?"
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"Revenge."
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"For three days, we've been serving people shells"
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"What are you doing?"
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"Did you come back here to shit on my restaurant?"
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"- Fonzie it! - What?!"
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"I forgot it was your car!"
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"Man!"
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"What is happening?!"
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"What do you want?!"
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"Come on, Morris."
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"Yeah, why don't you do your homework next time?"
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"Billy Evans?"
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"Yeah?"
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"I said to those guys. I'm a journalist."
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"- What was the reporter's name? - His name is Billy Evans."
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"with a lifestyle blogger."
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"You know, I'm just trying to wrap my mind around"
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"why you didn't tell your wife"
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"about such a big, life-changing moment."
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"And mark my words, it was going to happen."
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"So why rock the boat?"
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"Why are we back here?"
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"- Revenge. - What? On who?"
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"Oh. Oh, god."
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"Sweetie, I'm so sorry."
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"I can't help you right now."
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"If I smell it, I'm... I'm gonna go, too."
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"I think you need to call the hospital truck."
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"No, no. Baby, you're gonna be fine. Just use the bag."
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"- Oh, god! - Mommy!"
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"Get out of the car, baby. Nate! Nate!"
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"It won't open. It won't open!"
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"Sweetie, open the door. Please, open the door."
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"It's stuck! It's stuck!"
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"- Nate, help me! - I can't get it open!"
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"- Fonzie it! - What?!"
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"- Oh... - Great face."
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"That's the 36th billboard I've seen for that place."
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"Yeah, I wanna colon-ize my dinner."
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"That actually sounds really good. I'm starving."
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"to eat at a culturally insensitive roadside attraction."
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"What? I'm sorry. Would you let your kids eat"
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"- I don't know what that is. - The S.S. Super Nazis."
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"That feels pretty culturally insensitive."
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"What are you talk... they make great bagels."
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"- That's... - Don't."
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"Not when it comes with a Geno-side of rice."
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"And if the natives were with them, then maybe, just maybe,"
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"So..."
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