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Clips from A Series of Unfortunate Events - The Reptile Room: Part One (S01E01)

"Sorry about that."
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"No harm done."
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"I know the layout of that room"
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"as well as I know the bone structure of the osteoporosis lizard,"
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"and there is no way that that lamp was near that window."
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"Of course not."
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"He wasn't being careless. He was being murderous."
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"Dr. Montgomery, I really think we ought to contact the authorities."
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"I may be a world-renowned herpetologist,"
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"but I also minored in criminology."
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"I know what I'm doing."
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"Now let's eat quickly, everyone. We don't want to be late for the movies."
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"Well, Stephano, you must join us. We have to celebrate your arrival."
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"It's so much more convenient to consume entertainment"
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"Hmm. Well, I insist you come."
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"I insist upon staying here."
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"Well, I insisted first."
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"Well, I insisted... louder!"
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"Well..."
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"with all due respect, I feel a little uncomfortable"
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"Fine."
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"But I would like to make a brief phone call before we leave."
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"Of course."
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"Yes, a movie theater."
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"Where they show movies."
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"to watch from the comfort of your own home,"
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"Thank you."
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"- Hurry up. - In you go, Klaus."
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"Ticktock."
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"There you go."
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"Yeah, and then just keep... Get in. All right."
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"We don't know what you're up to, but we will find out."
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"you'll never get your hands on the Baudelaire fortune."
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"If I wanted to harm you, orphan,"
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"your blood would be streaming out of this car like a waterfall."
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"At least, not on purpose."
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"But accidents happen all the time, don't they?"
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"And that is when I said to him,"
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"The frog is the greatest reptile known to man."
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"- Frogs are amphibians. - What?"
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"Stephano, where did you study herpetology?"
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"I don't know anything about mouth sores."
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"Oh! I love this song!"
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"I just thought it might be nice to get out and see a movie."
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"I need more exciting things in my life."
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"And I think it's because my life is boring."
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"Yes. Uh, well, enjoy the show, ma'am."
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"- Dr. Montgomery! - Hello, old chap!"
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"I'm giving you the Verified Film Discount."
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"Ah, lovely."
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"because there is nothing exciting happening in my life at all."
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"Hey... Some popcorn actually sound delicious."
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"I get popcorn for me, for all of us. My treat."
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"Go, go. Go, go."
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"That's what our mother always said."
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"Who do you think taught it to me?"
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"You know, kids, I am so happy to be seeing a movie with you."
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"Your parents would be so very proud. I know they would."
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"For seeing a movie?"
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"or it can be used to prop open a refrigerator door"
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"when you're airing it out."
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"What my sister means is, we're not sure we're really following you."
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"because of you-know-who."
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"Promise me this..."
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"If I leave during the showing, you will not act as if anything is amiss,"
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"but you'll keep your eyes on that fraud Stephano."
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"- I got the popcorn. - Ah!"
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"Oh..."
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"Shh."
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"Ah, Gustav."
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"Not now."
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"Subtitles? This movie is boring already."
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"with the traditional building of a snowman"
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"- Four. - in the village square."
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"Traditions are important, Rolf."
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"If the movie's in English, why are there English subtitles?"
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"But that still doesn't explain..."
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"No! Where is your conscience?"
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"I don't think we've seen anything like this before."
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"They'll eat your feet They'll eat your feet"
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"You're a tasty treat You're a tasty treat"
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"Gerta... don't let them take the children!"
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"Don't shed tears, sweet Gerta."
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"No one's preparing to die, Rolf."
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"Put on this warm scarf..."
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"Oh, I need to get more popcorn."
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"And your poor mother's tutu."
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"- Just go that way. - You're blocking the screen!"
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"- Is it better to go this way? - Sit down!"
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"- No. Go that way. - I can go this way."
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"- I'll go here. - Go that way."
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"- That way? Aye, no. - Yes."
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"I feel like your elbow tell me"
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"- and your hand, your finger... - That way."
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"You're blocking the screen!"
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"- I'm sorry. - I can't see!"
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"I hope you didn't miss anything."
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"You'll always be in my heart..."
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"- Butter? - Salt?"
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"Ooh. - for coming on such short notice,"
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"but I'm not in the habit of coddling my henchpeople."
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"Due to one overprotective herpetologist's hysteria"
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"over the safety of his appalling collection of creatures,"
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"from Monty's home to this godforsaken nickelodeon."
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"And just in time."
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"I think you-know-who is trying to send a you-know-what."
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"Hello?"
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"Am I..."
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"A message."
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"They're trying to send a..."
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"You look handsome in that beard."
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"Hmm. I already knew that."
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"What did I miss? Oh, boy, they're still singing."
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"I am going to need to excuse myself."
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"- Shh. - Nature calls."
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"Stephano, would you be so kind as to keep an eye on the children?"
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"We're too young to be left in a theater alone."
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"Down in front."
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"- Pictures today. So violent. - Mmm-hmm."
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"There are hundreds of zombies coming down from those snow banks!"
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