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Clips from The Cleveland Show - Fat and Wet (S02E02)

"Mine has grown together so they look like the MasterCard logo."
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"Ha, ha. Priceless."
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"Where? Aah!"
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"Snoring is?"
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"Here, put these Band-Aids in your pocket."
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"- Here you go. - Cool. Ha, ha."
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"Junior, I don't want you to embarrass yourself by wearing that to school."
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"...so no one can pull it over your head."
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"Get it? Because in that mask, you look like a fat robot."
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"What are you, gay for oxygen?"
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"Somebody help me!"
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"Oh, my God, no!"
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"This world."
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"Even better."
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"Oh, I don't need anything from you."
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"...if your mother finds out you were running around this pool..."
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"What about the blanket?"
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"...assuming that just because our feet are often numb that we don't have feelings."
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"In time."
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"You were supposed to be watching me..."
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"Empty your pockets so I can take what I want."
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"What time is it, you say?"
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"...how does it feel to have your son and wife be the laughingstock of our town?"
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"Asked her to marry me. She said no."
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"You don't wanna be sober when you walk into that booth..."
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"Hey! Prolapsed rectums are not funny!"
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"... as the result of which was made official."
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"Head out on the highway"
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"Take the world in..."
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"...and I'm not gonna let you order me around my own house anymore."
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"And I should've been."
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"- Aah! What was that for? - That was for making me eat a stick."
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"...with melted cheese on top."
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"Fat bottomed girls You make the rockin' world go round"
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"Well, you wasted your time coming here."
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"I strongly urge you to consider your options."
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"I'm sorry you're fat."
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"- You want some cheese fries? - I could eat."
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"My name is Cleveland Brown And I am proud to be"
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"Right back in my hometown With my new family"
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"There's old friends and new friends And even a bear"
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"Through good times and bad times It's true love we share"
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"And so I found a place Where everyone will know"
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"My happy mustache face This is The Cleveland Show"
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"Love the pool, Cleveland."
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"Yeah, who says pools need to...? Need to be in the ground or look nice?"
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"I went into the Tar-zhay to get some medicated arch supports..."
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"...and I walked out with this sweet-ass pool."
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"You walked out with, uh, this whole pool?"
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"Fit in my trunk."
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"Water not included."
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"Nine rings. New record."
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"Opened my eyes too. No goggles. No regrets."
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"You getting in, Junior?"
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"No. I don't like to take my shirt off..."
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"...in front of people on account of my Frisbee nips."
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"Roberta, I don't mean to embarrass you or sound old-fashioned..."
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"...but ye maidenhood showeth."
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"- My what? - Your..."
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"You know what? It doesn't matter. You're doomed."
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"- Ow, bitch! - My bad."
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"From where I was standing, it looked like I was throwing to a man."
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"Calm down, Donna. The boy's just trying to have some fun."
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"Don't tell me to calm down."
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"I told you I think this pool is dangerous."
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"It's like now we've got two loaded guns in the house."
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"Hey, is that Djimon Hounsou?"
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"Ha, ha. Now you gotta change your clothes."
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"And get your hair done."
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"And get a new cell phone."
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"Junior's been snoring every night this week, Cleveland."
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"Why don't you just go in there and wake him up?"
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"...because he's scared of the rock band KISS."
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"He saw them on American Idol and thinks they're real."
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"- Cleveland, he is 14 years old. - I know."
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"Well, I read in Reactionary Parent Magazine..."
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"...that sometimes snoring is a symptom of serious health problems."
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"Stop making so much noise, you fat loser."
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"He can't help it, Rallo."
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"I wasn't talking to him."
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"Oh, I'm sorry, good night."
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"I make so much noise sometimes. Stupid."
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"- But, Daddy, that's stealing. - They're free. Hurry."
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"Junior, your tests are back and it appears you have one..."
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"...of the most overdiagnosed childhood disorders in America, sleep apnea."
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"But you really have it. Probably."
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"I think a light diet and losing a few pounds should solve this."
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"And what I imagine are countless other problems in your life."
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"Doctor, Junior's been on a "light diet" for years."
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"Yeah, what else you got?"
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"Well, there is something called a CPAP machine."
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"I'm Jacques Cousteau."
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"Hey, those aren't your Band-Aids."
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"Oh, Junior. Stealing?"
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"- Good morning, family. - Oh, sweet Lord."
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"- How'd you sleep, Junior? - Better than ever."
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"I'm alert, I have tons of energy, and my poo came out with no tears."
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"I feel so good, I'm gonna wear this mask to school today."
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"But if you're going to, at least take off your underwear..."
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"Okay."
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"One problem at a time, Donna."
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"Hey, it's Optimus Prime Rib."
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"No, I got it."
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"But I need my mask to breathe properly."
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"Breathe properly?"
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"Derek, we all need oxygen."
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"- Yeah, man. Stick to the fat jokes. - Fine."
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"What's up, fatty? Ha-ha-ha."
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"He's back."
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"Why so blue, Junior?"
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"I got made fun of because of my fat problem."
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"I'm sorry to hear that."
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"You want a piece of pizza?"
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"Oh, sure. Thank you."
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"You know, it seems like us heavy-sets..."
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"...are the only group you're allowed to make fun of anymore."
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"Well, us and even the smartest of the Polish."
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"There should be a hate crime law for people like us."
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"Or a weight crime law."
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"That's it. If we got a law passed to protect us from ridicule..."
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